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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...or is this slightly odd behaviour with regard to leftovers?

195 replies

naranciata · 26/12/2016 11:50

At FIL's house. Yesterday I singlehandedly cooked a 3 course Christmas dinner for 11 people then went to bed about 9:30 because 25w pregnant and knackered. Woke up this morning and opened the fridge and you would not know it was Christmas yesterday. Every single leftover item has been portioned up and frozen and added to the "freezer spreadsheet" pinned to the noticeboard in the kitchen.

I was thinking along the lines of bubbles and squeak with fried eggs and cold meat for lunch, turkey sandwiches for snacks, big pan of veg soup for the next few days' food. Basically - no 'proper' cooking but lots of nice food.

I asked FIL if he'd frozen everything (as opposed to putting in garage fridge etc) and he thanked me for cooking and said he'd barely have to cook for himself over the next few days because of everything he was left with. In the same breath, he asked if I wanted some mince defrosting to make a chilli tonight.

AIBU to feel like it's not really up to him to freeze all the Christmas leftovers to be eaten when we've all left? Him and I paid for the food 50:50.

OP posts:
RichardBucket · 26/12/2016 12:23

Odd behaviour. Don't put up with it!

shggg245 · 26/12/2016 12:24

Ps sorry to jump on op - def weird behaviour btw. Smile

expatinscotland · 26/12/2016 12:25

He wants you to cook him more food that you paid for. And your h is doing what about it? Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

thedogsvagina · 26/12/2016 12:25

shagg it will be fine

OP go and rescue your left overs and enjoy your boxing day with your feet up

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 12:27

Tight-fisted fucker.

And he expects you to cook again tonight.

And you're 25 weeks pg.

It's your FIL - where was DH? Where was everyone else? Didn't they help? If you cooked for 11 people then there must have been some other people around to say hold on a minute when he started freezer-bagging.

Sceptimum · 26/12/2016 12:27

That's seriously cheeky. Tell him you don't feel like cooking after all the work you did yesterday, and that you're happy with a chilli if he wants to make it or leftovers if he doesn't.

Serialweightwatcher · 26/12/2016 12:29

I don't think it's odd behaviour - I think it's cheeky, greedy bugger behaviour - what a nerve, especially when you cooked it all and paid half - that's not right!

shggg245 when I was young, my parents used to cook turkey overnight and for the next 3 or more days it stood on kitchen worktop covered in foil for us to have for sandwiches etc - the heating was always on ..... I cringe now thinking about it because I'm a 2 hour or less person, but it was fine for years doing it that way .... if you're worried, carve it up and reheat in gravy in oven when needed, making sure it's red hot x

QueenOfTheSardines · 26/12/2016 12:29

Who were the 11 people?

You're at his house? - Why did you have to do all the cooking?

More info pls arrangements sound ridiculous.

Yamadori · 26/12/2016 12:30

shggg245 you'll be fine to use it today

SheldonsSpot · 26/12/2016 12:31

10 people sat on their arses and let a 25 weeks pregnant woman single handedly cook Christmas dinner, and they're clearly expecting the same again today at teatime.

I think your FIL's weirdness over leftovers is the least of your problems.

peppatax · 26/12/2016 12:33

YADNBU - pop around, just having bubble and squeak with fried egg and Boxing Day curry planned for later! Plenty to go around...

Twogoats · 26/12/2016 12:34

He probably thought he was doing you a favour.

Ditsy4 · 26/12/2016 12:35

Microwave it shgg245 in gravy. Should be ok. Depends on your kitchen as ours is usually as cold as the fridge. Stone house.

That was really selfish. I would say oh but the left overs are the best let's have some of them and save you cooking. Otherwise make them go out to a pub/ hotel. Don't cook.
I would be tempted to smuggle some turkey out before you leave just to muck up his spread sheetGrin
Well done for doing all that work. You deserve today off.

lovelearning · 26/12/2016 12:35

left over are part of the xmas ritual surely????

smellyboot, oracle.

OP: You are not being unreasonable.

CakesRUs · 26/12/2016 12:36

Yes it's odd because there's still lots of people in the house that need feeding. My IL's are divorced and scattered, we don't do family dinners with them, but if it were my mum and she lived far away, I'd be ok with her doing this. I always feel like she bought us up on a shoe string and put our needs first, worked her fingers to the bone doing several jobs to make ends meet and, as she's old now, at least she's got food, but I'm 46 and she's nearly 80. But she wouldn't do this anyway, because there's a houseful of people who need feeding (not by you, I hope, you did more than your fair share yesterday, put your feet up and let someone else do it).

pklme · 26/12/2016 12:38

Oh no, dear FIL, no need to defrost mince as I'm not doing anymore cooking. Why don't you defrost the leftovers and do something with them instead?

HardcoreLadyType · 26/12/2016 12:38

I'd say, "mmmm, chilli sounds lovely. Who's cooking tonight?"

To me, one of the best bits of Christmas is leftovers. So I think freezing them up is weird. But it's also lovely to sit in a chair while someone else cooks, so I'd be happy to eat chilli under those circumstances.

LagunaBubbles · 26/12/2016 12:38

It's very selfish behaviour that's what I would call it!

morelimonpledge · 26/12/2016 12:41

OP, yanbu in the slightest.

Halfway through your OP, I was thinking your FIL sounded pretty awful, leaving you to do ALL the cooking single handed (couldn't any of the 10 other guests have helped in any way?!) and it was a bit shit of him to put away all leftovers - as what is everyone there today meant to eat? But his food, his rules, I guess.

But then I got to the part where you'd paid 50% of the cost Shock and now I can't believe the brass neck of the man!

Agree you should take it back, even if it spoils on the journey home, don't let the tight fisted fucker have the satisfaction of keeping it.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 26/12/2016 12:43

Yanbu. How awkward! Maybe something like, "oh I love your spreadsheet! I'll do the same with my half of the leftovers. Now instead of that chili how about we make a nice roast vegie soup so I won't have to carry so much stuff home. Leftovers are the absolute best thing about xmas, don't you think?"

I generally love leftovers - always something nice to prepare quickly when pushed for time. MIL on the other hand seems to have a fear of them. She cooks everything exactly so nothing will be left. "IWas, will two pieces of roast potato be enough for you? I'll just cook 1.5 potatoes for the 3 of us". We are always going hungry when she cooks.

But then if there are leftovers (generally from my cooking) it's panic until they are gone. "Tonight we'll just have leftover curry with pasta and some sausages to use everything up".

I hope she doesn't hear about this freezer spreadsheet. I'll have nothing left. And who knows what I'll have to eat before it's all gone.

RaptorInaFestiveFez · 26/12/2016 12:43

I love that he has a freezer spreadsheet Xmas Grin

It is a little odd given that you had gone 50/50 on the food and had plans for (at least some of) it. I have to say though, I have indeed portioned up our leftovers and frozen them myself Xmas Wink but it's my house, I do all the food planning and I've left enough out for us (and the cats) to have leftovers today.

LumelaMme · 26/12/2016 12:45

No. 1: Oh, FIL, I hope you make a good chilli! I'm a bit footsore from yesterday and need to look after this baby today...
And then No. 2: But it will great when we get home - we'll have our share of the leftovers so I won't need to cook until at least Friday!

Leftovers are definitely part of the ritual. It's taken me years to teach DH this simple fact, and he still hasn't quite grasped it:
'But we're not going to eat all at lunchtime!'
'Precisely! We won't have to cook tomorrow!'

expatinscotland · 26/12/2016 12:51

Wouldn't bother with hints or comments. Just take them out and defrost them and eat them. STOP fucking cooking for them - pans of soup and bubble and squeak and all that shit. He balks you tell him you paid for it, you'll be eating it. He's quid's in with you, gets food cooked for a month for him and doesn't have to pay for it.

diddl · 26/12/2016 12:56

Who are the other 9 & do you not have to feed them anymore?

Rude & sneaky of your FIL if there was lots left & you need it for more meals.

Don't really understand the whole dynamic here though.

TheSlaughterOfHerodificado · 26/12/2016 12:59

Me too,Leftit

What a greedy, thoughtless tosser.