To not want to be ravenously hungry at Christmas?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Staying with DH's family who are a bit weird about food.

We had a one-course Christmas lunch yesterday about 3pm, after which everyone declared themselves too stuffed to contemplate pudding.

It is now 11:30am the next morning and not a mince pie crumb, not a chocolate matchstick has been available for consumption since. There has been some vague talk about breakfast which has been on-going for hours with nothing whatsoever being done about it.

I am so hungry right now I am shaking.

To make matters worse we've just watched Bake Off like some form of torture.

We went to see family yesterday who are renowned for keeping us waiting for food.... We had a McDonald's 10 mins before we got there
The lunch was eventually served at 3pm and probably enough for 6 people, served between 14 of us. I am forever grateful to my big Mac meal

My parents are like this. Mum: "Oh I coudln't POSSIBLY manage a full lunch, it's only four hours since breakfast!" "Just a little half slice for me, I'm so full!"

They came to ours on Boxing Day and although they had skipped breakfast before coming Dad had very little for lunch because he was still SO FULL after Christmas Dinner which they had eaten 18 hours previously. Yeah right.

They have very, very odd attitudes to eating and it definitely rubbed off on me growing up as I eat everything in sight and could now do with losing a few stone...

My dp would be mortified if you were hungry in their home, so would late mil. Step mil cookes lovely food but smallish portions so always has a fruit bowl and an open tin of rose's on the go, you just dive in. If you want a drink you get one.

"The interesting thing is my side of the family were raised extremely poor, my mother didn't have an indoor loo till she was 4 and no fridge till she was 9. Yet they would be mortified at the thought of a guest going hungry."

My MIL came from very humble beginnings as well. She was born in 1929 in a house with no electricity or running water. She would be horrified to think that someone would leave the table still feeling hungry. She always over catered.

When she still had all her faculties she would always offer cakes/biscuits with cups of tea/coffee. In fact she thought I was rude for not always having a full biscuit tin at home to offer friends who might pop in for a cuppa.

Some families are weird.

Hi Luik, hadn't seen the replies!

Didn't actually get the kebab, went round to corner shop and bought lots of snacks which I passed round everyone.

She wasn't pleased . Didn't care though, no one gets between me and my food

Lots of posts here comparing different attitudes in partner's families
Whatto make of it if it's someone you grew up with ?
My sister eats, if she can, the same breakfast (meusli with the raisins removed) lunch (peanut butter sandwhich, yoghurt, cored, peeled apple ) evening meal (small portion of some meat, slice of toast,fruit rather than vegs) She thinks the world overeats.We were once travelling together, about to catch a non catered flight and then onward long haul.Knowing,at noon, that my next meal would be served at 1 a.m, I suggested we get something for lunch."Oh ,we passed a chemist,we could get a sandwich to share !" No we bloody couldn't, we are having a MEAL !

It's so interesting, I wonder if it's a British thing to have somewhat disordered/ chaotic eating patterns?

In France this summer I noticed a very healthy attitude to food with very little in the way of shame attached to it.

I think some therapy is needed for your average Brit when it comes to food.

I've had lots of therapy around eating and I'm now feeling fairly sorted around it. I can spot an old me a mile off now and they're everywhere.

Literally as soon as I sorted my head out, I found I could eat what I wanted without gaining weight. In the end it came down to self love and care and a war against shame in all its forms.

I now:
-eat when I want
-nourish my body

• don't go for long periods without food

Bumble my MIL is Belgian. She detests the 'Brits' and the way they eat as a way of distracting from her own disordered eating too.

I think this has been an interesting thread as I suspected there were a few people like this out there, its like a competitive group "no I'm hungry and nor would any other sane person be" sort of thing and also very telling that some posters who have said families ration or withhold food also talk a lot about getting fat and talk in pejorative terms about fat people. So after asking why the OP bothered posting i am actually thinking its good to have brought this up!

ethelb
Oh that's interesting.
My DH doesn't care whatsoever about food and I love it- it relaxes me.
He eats literally anything and is not fuss at all but is one of those that forgets to eat all day which is unfathomable to me!

It's a thing with fattist people who worry they are a little overweight themselves. They like to make a show of how little they eat, so that people know they're not the size they are because they're greedy with no self control (since that's what they think of other overweight people). It must be a horrible cycle to be stuck in.

I have to desperately try to ignore my mum when she does this as it's really messed up my attitude to food.

Interesting, yet sad, to know that so many others have weird PILs and end up starving at Christmas! To those who can't understand why we starving guests don't just help ourselves, etc, it's not as easy as that. My PILs also like to boast about how little they eat, yet keep nipping off to the kitchen and come back wiping their mouths.They have a very formal household, with set times for things. No matter what time we arrive there, after a two hour drive with no toilets on the way (so no liquids prior to journey), we are only offered something to drink at the scheduled teatime of 3.40pm precisely. DH also does not act as if they are his family, it's like visiting someone he's never met before. I now carry in my water bottle and sit there drinking until the appointed time.
Re Christmas, that's it for me! Have yet again come home starving, constipated, tired and with a bad back from the hard bed, , and completely miserable - so no more Christmases there for me.

I should add that now I live 200 miles away and so visit as a guest for a weekend at a time we're offered constant tea, coffee, biscuits, and very well catered for, but when I was a teenager mum did nothing but whinge at me for getting "fat" (short stocky size 12 same as her!!)

we are only offered something to drink at the scheduled teatime of 3.40pm precisely. DH also does not act as if they are his family, it's like visiting someone he's never met before. I now carry in my water bottle and sit there drinking until the appointed time

Aghast at this!

ginghamstarfish I don't understand why your husband can't say to them that you are both thirsty and does he mind if he puts the kettle on. Is he afraid of his parents? I would just tell them that I would get a migraine if I didn't have anything to drink.

These people think their behaviour is normal because no-one calls them up on it.

Can you take a thermos flask of tea with you?

We have two lots of relatives: one lot serve meals on side plates, instead of dinner plates as they genuinely have small appetites.They are hospitable however, and don't expect others to eat like sparrows. However, since I'm the type to eat all day long, only coming up for air at intervals, I do restrain myself out of politeness. Our other lot of relatives are the complete opposite. When we are at theirs, they constantly top up our plates as soon as they spot the huge pile of food on them is getting smaller - even with my huge appetite there are are times when no actually I don't want another helping of ice cream . Both lots are lovely people. I guess people are just different in their attitudes to food.

My parents do tiny potions between vast numbers of people - its always been that way, but now my mum and sister (who is a "recovering" anorexic - inpatient treatment as a late teen but now leading a normal life, just very obsessive and controlling about food and exercise) compete about how tiny a "normal" appetite should be. Last time I was there I had to take a photo of the "spread" my mum put on for 12 people to send to DH because it had got so ridiculous - basically in the middle of the table there were 5 cornish pasties on a serving plate, half a packet of crisps and about 8 cherry tomatoes ... My sister gasped at the size of the (ordinary, single serving) cornish pasties and proceeded to mash them into oblivion cutting each one into 6 with a butter knife and doling out squashed 1 cm thick morsels onto plates, 1/6th per person...

My mum likes to cook and talks a lot about food, she just serves odd eclectic "bits" which are insufficient for the number of people eating, or cooks elaborate and time consuming meals but appears to be a believer in the MN chicken serving 12 etc... She also has an unshakable belief that people with penises get double what people without need, even if the penis barer is a 4 year old child and the non penis bearer a 5 ft 6 teenager etc.

She serves sufficient meals per day, but her favourite thing to do to a portion of food is to cut it in half... The effect she has on us when we are staying is the opposite the the competitively ascetic mindset she and my sister seem to so admire - she just makes us all feel like sneaking off and buying piles of junk food to eat secretly between meals...

There do seem to be a lot of them about judging by this thread...

Being with family doesn't have to mean being at their house for Christmas and only eating meals they sanction.
Insist on them coming to your house if they want to see you or in going out for some meals.
Alternatively stand up for yourself more, tell them you are hungry, tell them you do want pudding, make your own breakfast, don't disappear for an extended shower that is long enough for breakfast to be cooked and eaten in your absence when everyone else is getting up and starting to prepare breakfast. Have your shower before you come down for breakfast. Take some sausage rolls and mince pies with you.
It all sounds very silly.

I recognise my mum in this - tiny meals and missing meals - at Christmas we made sure we had a decent breakfast then snack before we got there!

Interesting that she certainly has food/control issues, and I was anorexic in teenage years and early twenties, then as soon as pregnant I went crazy eating everything in sight, and now 2 children and I am overweight always snacking (not with the children, our meals are healthy I just binge after they've gone to bed)

Bumbleclat - No, it's not normal, normal in the UK is overfeeding everyone to avoid looking like you haven't cared about them.

I guess it's more noticable at occasions like Christmas as through the rest of the year, many don't tend to get together with family for extended periods of several days, and as the norm is to overeat over the Festive period, not being fed is far more noticable!

OMG some people have such a strange attitude to food! My DD's MIL is a bit like this. On several occasions,when staying at her place,she and her DH have snuck out on the pretext of going to get some fuel for the car etc in order to run into the nearest supermarket to grab a meal deal or similar because of her MIL's reluctance to provide any food,or even to let themselves prepare some food for themselves. A typical scenario would be them getting up 7am in order to go to the local carboot sale,buying themselves a burger or baguette each whilst there,which MIL would declare 'big enough to feed 4 people'. Then when they got back to MIL's place,she would say she wasn't hungry,and seeing as they 'had eaten so much earlier,they shouldn't be hungry',she wouldn't be doing any food until dinner time! Come 6pm,they would be served a miniscule portion of dinner (think:put both meals together and it would be just about enough for one person). No pudding,or any other food would be offered between then and bedtime. They would go to bed,still hungry,wishing they had thought to get some more supplies in while they were at the supermarket! My DD said she always feels like she has been put on an instant diet the moment she arrives at MIL's house,which considering her MIL is much more overweight than my DD is,is a bit rich!

I went to a daytime party around Christmas (start 11:30-14:30 end)

We all had 2 tiny canapes each.

I drank 6 glasses of wine (it was a hard going party, needed Dutch courage) and wandered home pissed as anything...

But anyway: no food!

My friend who hosted it often says things like:" i had a handful of spinach for lunch. So yum and so filling" so I should have known

But still, I expected some kind of food at a party

Anyway, I had fun and I guess it did me no harm

No sausage rolls? Party's should have sausage rolls and vol au vents or loads of Supermarket party snacks. Why would you not serve assorted unhealthy but tasty food at a Christmas party? It's the only time the shops stock a lot of this stuff and butchers do sausagemeat. Sod chocolate, I could quite happily live on sausage rolls and party snacks.

packing to go there is like preparing for a trip up Everest. Little wonder I refuse to go anymore.

2rebecca - me too I can take or leave sweet stuff but load me up on (veggie) savouries! I've been living on (veggie) cocktail sausages, Pringles, cheese and crackers, cranberry sauce, pickles and nuts last few days. Yum!