To not want to be ravenously hungry at Christmas?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Staying with DH's family who are a bit weird about food.

We had a one-course Christmas lunch yesterday about 3pm, after which everyone declared themselves too stuffed to contemplate pudding.

It is now 11:30am the next morning and not a mince pie crumb, not a chocolate matchstick has been available for consumption since. There has been some vague talk about breakfast which has been on-going for hours with nothing whatsoever being done about it.

I am so hungry right now I am shaking.

To make matters worse we've just watched Bake Off like some form of torture.

[user1477282676]

I think my household is a bit...well...short of things most people would consider normal foods to have in.

Not at Christmas...we have loads of food then.

But ordinarily we don't have "snack" foods in. We have 3 meals a day and a fruit bowl....always some salad in the firdge and always crackers and cheese available.

I notice my friends seem to have constant supplies of rice cakes, crisps, little biscuits or cakes for their DC.

I sometimes feel bad...but if I buy treaty-like snack foods, my DC eat them all within a day...or obsess over them.

We're all a healthy weight and I will buy say icecream at weekends or bake a cake.

[RichardBucket]

ethelb It's not luck at all. The type of in-laws or family you end up with is down to luck, but your reaction isn't. People aren't "lucky" for refusing to put up with that shit!

[Swirlingasong]

I spent years starving at my in law's and having to take secret supplies of cereal bars etc. I need to eat regularly, they are all people who can keep going and skip meals if eating is inconvenient. I find it rude to ask for food and there never used used to be any extra in the house anyway. MiL has a morbid fear of wasting food. Everything is counted out e.g. bread is bread rolls and a specific number are bought, if you ate an extra one there would not be enough for everyone to have lunch the next day. Portions were always tiny as they are elderly an that's what they ate. I remember once when we were first together, I travelled six hours on the train to visit them and was fed quarter of a chicken breast, a lettuce leaf and half a bread roll. I found it very hard not to cry.

Things are much better now. MiL finally realised I needed feeding when I completely lost it one time when were out and MiL had been so insistent on us doing various things and that we wouldn't have food as it was a waste of time that I just started screaming and ranting at dh that I wasn't going anywhere else until he had found me a fucking mars bar - in front of his whole family in a very crowded public place. Not my finest moment but mil did start offering me an extra potato after that.

Dh also became more direct with his mother and plans food with her every time we go to make sure there is enough. It's better as I don't starve, but I still feel very awkward, kind of as if providing food when I am there is some concession to me and something quite out of the ordinary.

[Parker231]

This all seems very odd - if you are hungry get yourself something to eat! Either prepare something or go out for a meal. You and your DH are sounding abit pathetic. No one just sits there hungry - they do something about it.

[Backingvocals]

DSM does that bread roll thing. If we go shopping for the week she will but four potatoes as we will have boiled potatoes on Friday and there are four of us so that's fixed.

If I did find any bread in the house and made myself some toast there would be a trauma on Saturday as that is the day they have a piece of toast each and one of the two slices would have gone...

One awful time their neighbours popped round and started having a diabetic episode in their house. The husband was yelling for some juice or something sweet - of course there wasn't anything and he had to run home to get something.

I think people can underestimate the power of this stuff. This has been going on in my life since I was seven. No way would I have asked then and I'd struggle to ask now (but get round it in other ways - ie pack snacks for secret eating!)

[NicknameUsed]

We live in a rural area. I never shop just for the next meal. I keep food in the house. I have spare bread in the freezer, tins and packets in the store cupboard etc.

Do these people really not keep even a packet of pasta or a tin of beans in their cupboards? I find that really weird.

Backingvoclas why don't you take spare food with you like we do when we visit MIL?

[Poole5]

So your DH wasn't too ill and of no use to get toast for himself but not for you?

You have a DH problem

[Backingvocals]

Yes I do now. But as a child you can't. And because my DF facilitated it, we didn't go head to head about it. After all, he'd already left my mother who had weight issues so we didnt want to draw attention to the fact that we wanted to eat. It's all very deep!

Actually, funnily enough, they do treat the DGCs much better and are even able to be indulgent with them, given enough notice and a week's fast as a penance afterwards

[formerbabe]

but if I buy treaty-like snack foods, my DC eat them all within a day...or obsess over them

Hmmm...maybe that's because they don't have them ordinarily? Perhaps if they knew there was always a packet of biscuits in the cupboard, then they'd not obsess over them?

[OpalTree]

Won't the kids go overboard once they are old enough to be able to buy snack foods themselves?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Sounds like we are quite lucky compared to some of you! They just have weird food habits and rarely eat anything vaguely approaching three square meals a day, whereas I need regular refuelling.

I think they just have a total blind spot about it - in other respects they are great hosts.

I used to have a similar blind spot about hot drinks (I don't drink many), but I've gradually realised lots of my friends and family need a constant supply of tea and coffee and am learning to keep up!

[lljkk]

Put a reminder in your electronic diary now, on 18 December 2017, about bringing a bag of savoury snacks next year!

[OnGoldenPond]

We now refuse to go to MILs for Christmas after being offered the smallest Christmas dinner on record.

There were three adults two DCs, one 7 and one 5.
She brought out a single oval serving dish containing a few slices of turkey and tiny piles of roast potatoes, carrots and sprouts. That was the full meal for us all. One slice of turkey, three sprouts and three carrot batons each plus two small roasties each. Then small scoop of ice cream for afters.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact that we had paid for an enormous Tesco food delivery to her house the day before with more than enough for everyone. But she decided that we "didn't need all that ". We never got to eat it the next day either, not sure if she sold it.

She was a bit put out when I suggested going out for a kebab half an hour after the meal!

[Backingvocals]

golden that is travesty.

[Rioja123]

[Rioja123]

[lljkk]

Please say you really did go out for the kebab...

[dingdongdigeridoo]

Some people just don't realise that others have a bigger appetite. I get this with some members of DH's family. They are lovely people in general, but they eat tiny amounts of food and I always feel like a big fatty when I ask for more. It's different with your inlaws. I'd never dream of asking if I could make toast.

Some of these stories are insane though. Sometimes there can be a weird controlling aspect to it.

[Essexgirlupnorth]

My in laws are weird that they have christmas dinner on boxing day usually. One christmas we were staying we did have the meal in the evening by the time we ate i was starving as we had breakfast. Everyone else had bacon and eggs for lunch but i was stuck upstairs under a sleeping baby and no one came up to ask if i wanted anything.
Did get the starter earlier after i complained i hadn't eaten still breakfast. Still haven't entirety forgiven her.Though went round on boxing day and should have had lunch before we went as didn't eat till later afternoon.

[NicknameUsed]

" It's different with your inlaws. I'd never dream of asking if I could make toast. blush"

Why not? I have such a good relationship with MIL that I wouldn't feel embarrassed about asking.

[BurningBridges]

I don't see the point of the thread OP. You know that they are like yet you still went and you are not really bothered enough to comment, in fact you are making jokes about it. No wonder they don't offer anything.

If they made breakfast whilst you were out of the room then didn't provide any for you, I don't see how they are great people, sounds like they'd prefer if you didn't actually come - had you thought of that?

[SooBee61]

Speak up woman! Don't be dictated to.

[Craigie]

Bunch of FREAKS!!

[ShinyMoonFace]

I have family members who do the competitive small eating too. One famous occasion, after DParents I and DS had travelled 7 hours to see them they served up 5 salmon fillets between 7 adults and two toddlers. That is by no means unusual.

My DMum stopped serving these relatives food on a plate and instead served up food in serving dishes because of all the exclamations 'Oh, i can't eat allof that ' (said as scoffing down and asking for seconds.

But there are food issues there.....anyone who chops up a banana into 5 pieces and allows their 9 year old DS one piece only and freezes the rest so they don't get fat has an issue.

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I don't see the point of the thread OP. You know that they are like yet you still went and you are not really bothered enough to comment, in fact you are making jokes about it.

It is almost a standing joke now with DH - we know what they are like and they are honestly great in every other way. I know I should have squirrelled a cereal bar or two in my bag to tide me through the lean periods of the day.

So it was really just an exasperated rant at their food weirdness. It is always particularly infuriating at Christmas, when we're supposed to be stuffing ourselves silly. Reassuringly it seems I'm far from the only one to have experienced similar frustrations!