To not want to be ravenously hungry at Christmas?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Staying with DH's family who are a bit weird about food.

We had a one-course Christmas lunch yesterday about 3pm, after which everyone declared themselves too stuffed to contemplate pudding.

It is now 11:30am the next morning and not a mince pie crumb, not a chocolate matchstick has been available for consumption since. There has been some vague talk about breakfast which has been on-going for hours with nothing whatsoever being done about it.

I am so hungry right now I am shaking.

To make matters worse we've just watched Bake Off like some form of torture.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

True, I always thought it looked a bit grotty as well 🙊

[shrunkenhead]

Expat in Scotland but you can't stop going to houses when it's your family!
I just figure they won't be around forever so make their last few xmases happy ones by biting our tongues.

[NicknameUsed]

But shrunkenhead why should you sit there hungry when you can get round it by bringing your own hamper of food with you? By letting your family starve you you just enable their behaviour.

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

I'm so glad someone else has experienced penis portions - I was helping DM make stuffed chicken for dinner. 4 adults and 4 chicken breasts, I start getting them all ready and get told that only men get a full breast, women get half! I had to more or less wrestle it off her to stop her putting it in the freezer.

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Penis portioners can fuck right off. I challenge any burly bloke to out-eat me, I'm a size 10 but have a fast motabilism and the appetite of a shire horse.

I'm so pleased we went to MILs this Xmas, identical portions for the adult, 3 lovely courses and the offer of seconds. At my mum's seconds would be very frowned upon! It's far more polite to starve oneself than to look gluttoness

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Even one chicken breast for me would barely touch the sides, I think I'd pass out if I just had half!

[Artandco]

See I can never eat a whole chicken breast as would be too stuffed, so I can see how others might only offer 1/2 if that's what they usually eat. I just cook a load of guests over and have leftovers if not eaten

[GlobalTechIndustries]

that is torture especially talking about breakfast and then bake off.

[SilentBatperson]

I think it's the idea that women automatically get only half of what men do that's the problem.

[user1477282676]

My DH had been brought up to think women get less. I reducated him over a takeaway when he was surprised that I expected half of everything.

To be fair to him he never presumed anything since then.

[PovertyPain]

That'll teach me not to start reading on the last pages. Took a minute to work out what the fuck a penis portion was. Thought it was a spellcheck at first! 🤔 Love it. 😄

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

Poverty were you thinking something like this?

[Graphista]

It'll be the new phrase of 2017 verified by the oed

[PovertyPain]

Cherry 😂

[expatinscotland]

'Expat in Scotland but you can't stop going to houses when it's your family!'

Sure you can! Don't be ridiculous. 'No, thanks, won't be coming round this year. Sick of being starved.'

'I just figure they won't be around forever so make their last few xmases happy ones by biting our tongues.'

Have you ever considered that you might be the one who dies first and then you spent your last few xmases being miserable and hungry?

Stop being such a mug! Either decline and TELL them why or bring along food and eat it. Life is far too short to put up with behaviour like this.

[marhav999]

YANBU. They are plain mean. Don't go back.....EVER!

[DinosaursRoar]

Agree with expat - and there's a half way point, you can visit them for the day but not stay over. Even staying in a hotel if need be so you get to control your own food.

You can take snacks or offer to bring the evening buffet then make a point of getting out the food you brought for everyone to share (so they can see that actually you want to eat even if they don't, how are these people ever going to learn their eating habits are unusual if everyone goes along with it and acts like it's normal/hides their extra eating so the hosts don't realise?)

You can invite them to you. (Best option really so you can control food access!)

[NicknameUsed]

I agree with Expat and Dinosaur

"how are these people ever going to learn their eating habits are unusual if everyone goes along with it and acts like it's normal/hides their extra eating so the hosts don't realise?"

I have pointed ^^ this out umpteen times. I am simply not prepared to martyr myself or give myself a migraine because a member of my family has odd ideas about eating.

You need to lead by example.

[Cary2012]

I agree with Expat too! If people are rude enough to starve you, then they deserve to know why!

I have a solution, next year you are all invited to my Irish mammy's house in Dublin, there were 10 of us for Christmas dinner, she catered for 30! "Have I done enough Cary?? Did I get a big enough turkey/ham/side of beef?" Then after we all collapsed into a heap, "Will you be helping me lay the buffet out Cary? People will be peckish after watching all that Harry Potter nonsense, so they will."

And that was how it continued until we all flew home at least each a stone heavier.

[Graphista]

Cary that's more like my family.

Scots-Irish, BIG families but not much money yet woe betide anyone who let a guest leave their home without feeling full to bursting! Both grans were fabulous cooks and could almost literally make something out of nothing. Christmas, weddings, christenings, first communions even funerals are 'eat drink and be merry'.

Why didn't I speak up with my in-laws? Because it would have caused ww3! They were not nice people, my ex NEVER backed me up and they WOULD have literally kicked us out - they've done so over far less to others including family.

[HermioneWoozle]

It's not as if they will change their ways if people are honest! They aren't kind really but accidentally thoughtless or ignorant- we are talking deliberate unkindness and serious food issues! With a likely side order of sado-masochism. I can understand not wanting WW3 to break out over the Christmas period.

Fuck 'em. It's not your duty to educate and improve rude and incompetent hosts, do what you want to best suit your own needs and physical and mental health.

[DinosaursRoar]

Hermione - it does depend why they are doing it - if it's just that's all they eat and can't comprehend someone else being hungry on the same amount of food that they are stuffed on, then they could change and learn that some other people need more even when they don't.

If it's that they don't approve of eating more than a tiny amount or just want you to be unhappy and suffer, then fuck em and don't go. Life is too short for being nice to people who don't actually like you just because you are related.

[SilentBatperson]

There seem to be examples of both types in this thread. Some of them evidently mean well but simply don't understand that not everyone has the appetite of a seven stone 80 year old or that women are supposed to have 80% of the calories of men, not 50%. Others would banish you to the farthest turret if you asked for a brew. Doubt I'd be bothering with anyone in the toxic latter category though. They'd have to be pretty fucking wonderful in some other ways to outweigh it.

[Rachel0Greep]

Fascinated by this thread. We spend Christmas with my parents. No starvation rations there, even though their own appetites aren't huge. And if a complete stranger appeared at the door, he/ she would be fed too.

[JsOtherHalf]

We used to take snacks etc when we visited the in laws.
Treats and buns were scheduled per person, days in advance.
I need mugs of tea on a regular basis. Which DH used to have to sort for me.
We would stop off at the local garage shop on the way home too.

Some of it was being very set in their ways, some of it was about money (even though they had 6 figures in the bank).