To be really fed up of people who claim 2016 to have been a 'horrific' year....

[Whatsername17]

Because, sadly, some famous people that they have never met have died? Once again social media is awash with 'fuck off, 2016', 'you'd better not take x, you or z from us' and 'this year is truly testing me now it has taken.....'
It gives me the rage. Firstly, I think the grief belongs to the families who have lost a person, not a celebrity ideal. But, secondly, I just think that, if the worst thing that has happened to you personally is that someone in the public eye has died, then you've been pretty lucky. Thirdly, so many other awful things have happened in the world; terror attacks, plane crashes, Syria, Aleppo, Donald Trump. Yet people don't seem to feel the same outrage. I will admit, I've had an awful year, starting with the loss of our baby at 13 weeks pregnant in January, followed by a huge crisis in my marriage and the loss of a loved one. I guess that could all be clouding my judgement. I dunno. I just hate social media inspired competitive grief I guess. Feel free to flame but I'd be really interested to know if others feel the same.

🙄 it doesn't cause you any harm does it. Scroll past?

Art is part of the human condition so I think it's natural to grieve for artists, and that when people do so they are also grieving for the time and memories that that artist's art reminds them of. So for instance, when my DP committed suicide I really struggled to cry until one day I put a prince song on and the tears came. So crying for Prince, for me, is also crying for my DP and for myself at that time.

So I think you are being very unreasonable. Let people grieve for whatever and whomever they need to.

I think it has been a shit year though. Not just for celebrity deaths but personally I very nearly lost a loved one earlier this year the day Terry Wogan died. I've had a few relatives die this year too. It's been a shit year; it really has. Bad luck.

I've wept over Syria this year. I've wept over personal tragedy. And I wept tonight when I heard that a singer I rated, respected and enjoyed for many years had died tragically early.

And I am politically active. And I do protest things. And I do give my time and money for the big issues. But we don't have to choose to only be affected by one thing. We can feel things about multiple situations at once without some negating others, you know.

@hungryhippo90, so very sad for you :(. I'm wishing you the best in the New Year.

2016 has been a disaster for me and my family. We are almost undone financially and have experienced many struggles and losses this year. I do want to see the back end of this year. I don't know that 2017 will be better but I am very much hoping it will be.

I am not fed up with it, but it does seem a bit odd because it is such a silly idea......2016 is not a being with any kind of agency over anything....it is just a frame we have imposed on a period of time. It is meaningless on any deeper level. I mean, I do get that it isn't literal, that people probably just mean that they have bad associations with it now and want the feeling of a fresh start that a new label of 2017 gives. I just think they take it too far given that it is nonsense.

I agree with you about celebrity deaths to some extent. I know they can stir up sadness about the passing of time, or personal memories associated with the music of a singer, awareness of mortality and so on. If someone says they are upset or wants to talk about it online I understand that. Some of the language used though is pretty ridiculous, and I do find it surprising when presumably many of the people using it have suffered real personal losses.

Everyone is free to hold their own opinion. Mine is that the grief police are far more irritating than anyone expressing upset at the death of a human being.

I don't notice any grief police. The odd comment noting that a widespread trend is sometimes ludicrous is not grief police!

I think social media has a lot to do with it, and people feeling that they need to comment on 'trending' issues in a similar way to friends or celebrities they like. There will be loads of people tonight writing ' devastated' blah blah who then go straight back to laughing at the tv and don't give it another thought, who barely even knew who George Michael was. Not everyone commenting will be like that of course, and probably no one on MN of course! But in general if that kind of thing goes too far it can seem offensive.

The problem with 2016 is that it has been a litany of bad news on top of more bad news.

The future looks very uncertain at the moment. Most people have a lot more to worry about than they did this time last year; many people are anxious about jobs, financial wellbeing, making ends meet, etc.

YANBU OP.

Couldn't agree more OP .
Gives me the rage too

I just hate social media inspired competitive grief I guess

Isn't this exactly what you're doing?

I do understand where you're coming from in some way OP.

2016 has been one of the most challenging years of my life personally (there were threads about my problems at the time - won't bore anyone now) and the state of the world in general is quite desperate. The massacre in Syria is heartbreaking, the prospect of Putin & Trump teaming up to "sort it out" is terrifying.

I am still really upset & saddened to hear about the death of George Michael. I never met him but I will, in some small way, grieve for him. He has been my favourite singer/pop star for 32 years - and I'm only 41. His death at such a young age is very sad.

I, personally, have also been upset by the deaths of my favourite comedian - Victoria Wood - and the incredibly talented Caroline Aherne this year.

I care deeply about world events & I certainly have had enough heartbreak in my own life. None of this stops me thinking that 2016 has seen the passing of more very talented entertainers than usual.

I find I'm capable of caring about multiple things all at once. Like most of us are.

Firstly it's not as new a phenomenon as people think, ask your mum, aunts, grandparents etc about how people behaved when they learned of jfk, Martin Luther King, John Lennon Marilyn Monroe, Marvin Gaye, Natalie wood, James Dean, Otis Redding, grace Kelly and Elvis' deaths there were hardened journalists weeping for them, outpourings of grief and pilgrimages to places of significance to the person that died.

I remember my father crying the day Lennon died he never cried. My aunt when Elvis died.

Many theories about why we are affected by the death of someone we didn't personally know. Human empathy is surely the most obvious, plus any impact we felt they have on our own lives.

I was a massive fan of George Michael and I have found it upsetting but partly as a shit end to a shit year both publicly/globally and personally.

Out of all my friends on Facebook there's a very few that HAVEN'T had a shit year, bereavement, serious illness, job loss, financial worries, relationship breakdown, family dysfunction just an awful year. So yes a lot of them just want to see the back of it and be done.

I'm so sorry that you've had a dreadful year too op. But you can't expect others to feel the same way.

OP I agree with you but maybe for different reasons.
i only find it mildly irritating that people publicly and communally grief on social media. I was on social media but came off in August from FB and IG. Personally for me great decision, don't regret it a bit. There is something about everyone having something to say publicly and I think the public grieving does tend to feed on itself and get into a frenzy.

The other reason is that statistically there has been a higher percentage of 'celebrity' deaths at the beginning of the year (heard something about this on radio 4), but I think it's irrational to believe that 2016 has been 'fated' to be a terrible year as though it were destiny or part of some grand plan that these events happened in 2016. I think it seems that way and we love to create a story around that.
But it's a '2016' myth. Lots of terrible things and 'celebrity' deaths happen every year.
Personally 2016 has not been a bad year for me. In fact, it's been a really good year.
I do not know any of these celebrities personally so I'm not affected on a deeply personal level. Maybe on a social level.

OP - I get your irritation.

YANBU

It's not just about the celebrity deaths though, is it? Although that is certainly weird and unprecedented.

It's been a horrible, cruel and unsettled and year globally and for so many people I know on a more personal level.

I'm not into woo but I'd swear there is something going awry in the planets of something.

Trump, Brexit (whatever side you were on it has undoubtedly caused an upset and a rift in the country and will destabilise us for a while) Syria, the migrant crisis. Ongoing terror attacks that have taken a new turn in mainland Europe.

It's also been a year where I have seen several friends go through redundancy and really struggle to get new jobs, having to uproot their families from their homes and schools etc. I personally know three people who have died of cancer (young) this year and two people who have had strokes (young) and another four people diagnosed with cancer and currently undergoing treatment, at least one of whom almost certainly won't make it. She has young children. Another one is my friend's DC, only 18.

I don't think I have known that many people get seriously ill or die in the rest of my life put together. So many of my friends and acquaintances have had the most unbelievably shitty and stressful year in so many ways.

YANBU. Sorry for your losses and I hope 2017 is a better year for you

It has been a horrible year for a number of reasons, not just celebrity deaths.

I don't do the public grief thing on social media - I don't actually use social media and I usually just think how sad when a celebrity dies. I am a bit more sad about George Michael, but that is because wham were the first band I loved as a teen and I had posters, pillows and all sorts with their faces on. If I hear a what song it takes me back to the 80s when I had a room full of wham crap and life was different. I think people are allowed to be sad over things like that.

I do agree the public grief on social media can go too far, but for some when these celebrities die it could affect them as their music, or words could have got them through some awful times.

OP, YABU

A shitload of well-known people died this year who had an effect on others that can't be calculated, though they are better circulated than your losses. It doesn't mean your feelings are more or less heartfelt or genuine than theirs.

As for comparisons with wider killings, the particular will always weigh more against the general, that's the way it is.

I don't get why you piss and moan about grief on social media and then use, er... social media to advertise your own.

Oh, and I do have special soft spot for all the music/actor types who have dropped off the hooks this year.

George Michael.

I should have said "deaths", not "killings".

You don't have to know someone personally for them to have had an impact on your life.

Why would someone else's sadness give anyone 'the rage'? That's weird.

I had my private share of shit this year, the external shitty things just seemed to complement it so if anyone tells me I shouldn't talk about 2016 as terrible, crap or shitty can go and fuck themselves. Sideways, preferably.

Thirdly, so many other awful things have happened in the world; terror attacks, plane crashes, Syria, Aleppo, Donald Trump.

Exactly. Don't you think that might be why people are saying it's a shit year? In any social media I visit people are talking about those things as well as celebrity deaths. Maybe you need to follow different people, OP.