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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really fed up of people who claim 2016 to have been a 'horrific' year....

253 replies

Whatsername17 · 25/12/2016 23:46

Because, sadly, some famous people that they have never met have died? Once again social media is awash with 'fuck off, 2016', 'you'd better not take x, you or z from us' and 'this year is truly testing me now it has taken.....'
It gives me the rage. Firstly, I think the grief belongs to the families who have lost a person, not a celebrity ideal. But, secondly, I just think that, if the worst thing that has happened to you personally is that someone in the public eye has died, then you've been pretty lucky. Thirdly, so many other awful things have happened in the world; terror attacks, plane crashes, Syria, Aleppo, Donald Trump. Yet people don't seem to feel the same outrage. I will admit, I've had an awful year, starting with the loss of our baby at 13 weeks pregnant in January, followed by a huge crisis in my marriage and the loss of a loved one. I guess that could all be clouding my judgement. I dunno. I just hate social media inspired competitive grief I guess. Feel free to flame but I'd be really interested to know if others feel the same.

OP posts:
neveradullmoment99 · 26/12/2016 18:13

Poor kids

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/12/2016 18:17

TheNaze73

Although I agree that this started with Diana, this is somewhat different in that its different people for different celebrities.

When Bowie died there were many people bringing up his past (as there are with George Micheal), it was years before anyone could say anything about Diana.

When Kurt Cobain died a friend of mine locked herself in her bedroom for days, she suffered in silence (as much as we tried to talk to her), Isn't it so much better that people can share their grief at the passing of those that they hold in high regard?

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/12/2016 18:36

something that I have just been reminded off

In 2006, when David Gemmell died, It was in news on the BBC website, his son posted their thanks at those that had taken the time to relate stories and give their condolences.

So this type of thing on social media can be of a benefit to the families of the deceased.

DodoRevival · 26/12/2016 18:36

Wow those two boys neveradullmoment99 the article isn't wrong. I don't actually recall it that well, and I from there. I've very vague recollections of them but I most certainly recall Nicola Dixon (mostly because my friends from university thought It was me who'd be murdered as she wasn't named straight away and we had a similar profile).

Mysterycat23 · 26/12/2016 18:37

OP YANBU. I understand exactly what you mean you intended to discuss the social media meme. Had a blazing row with DH first thing this morning because he woke me up going on Facebook and spouting the fuck off 2016 bullshit at me. I am so sick of it I somewhat regrettably gave him both barrels.. It's just a stupid meme, 2016 is no better or worse than any other year! Good and bad things happen all the time and to put it bluntly, it is ridiculous to say otherwise. Is the same meme going to survive into 2017? Will people be posting fuck off 2017 messages? Boils my piss!!

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 27/12/2016 02:57

When Trump was elected I posted on FB that there was a distinct whiff of 1930s in the air... I think this is why people are worried. It feels like we're on the cusp of an enormous shitstorm... all the celeb deaths just add to this feeling

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 27/12/2016 08:32

I agree !
That said losing a parent and BREXIT mean I can slate 2016 a wee bit!!!

bananafish81 · 27/12/2016 08:43

I've had a shitty year. 3 IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, 3 surgeries and currently in the middle of a cancer scare

Most of my social media feed didn't have this but we all feel 2016 has been abysmal due to Brexit and Trump

Both absolutely world changing events, both terrifying, both herald years of difficulty and legitimise shifts to the far right

The world feels a very scary place

In terms of celebrity deaths, for many of my friends who work in the creative industries, artists like Bowie and Prince were seminal in their cultural landscape and inspiring them to be who they are today. They may not have known them personally, but their output and legacy have been a big part of their lives. DH is a record producer and Bowie was a big influence, he was absolutely devastated when he died.

Mainly though, 2016 has been shit for us because we lost two healthy babies and I may have cancer.

WrongTrouser · 27/12/2016 11:34

banana Flowers Hope you have a better 2017.

PickAChew · 28/12/2016 00:00

Well, there you have it. Gid Coe has announced that his Obit show is over 2 nights, this year. 3 hours is usually enough, but this year it's 6.

Pillowaddict · 28/12/2016 00:08

I wanted to write this earlier. Yanbu.

Cornishclio · 28/12/2016 00:27

There have been a lot of celebrity deaths, a lot were my teenage idols and personally our family has struggled this year. My brother has been diagnosed with MS, my sister has separated from her husband after 29 years and my stepdad has spent 6 months in hospital/nursing home. Add Brexit and Trump and numerous terrorism and bad worldwide events into the mix and 2016 has had its fair share of bad stuff. Lots of positive things have happened too though so I think if people want to express their pleasure it is coming to an end and wish for a better 2017 it is understandable.

SantaPleaseBringMeEwanMcGregor · 28/12/2016 00:31

It's been a shitty year for a lot of people, on a personal level and a global one. Syria, Trump, all sorts of shit going on the world. And actors and authors and musicians are the ones we turn to to make ourselves feel better. Having one of them go, especially someone we grew up with who went so unexpectedly, especially if they were a role model as Fisher/Leia was, is a blow. It takes the wind out of your sails. And this year has been one of the most persistent with celeb losses to boot.

So, yes, YABU. Don't tell me how I should feel or or who I should mourn or how I should prioritize my emotions.

Middleoftheroad · 28/12/2016 00:37

I don't go on FB anymore.

For me, I think it is more selfish than the celeb's death, as tragic as it is, and more about my own life. Another part of childhood gone. Another reminder of how time passes.

It feels like yesterday when I was taping Freedom off ToTP and the fact that George Prince have gone reminds me that it was such a long time ago now. I think that's what so many of us feel.

I have only ever seen my dad cry once. A little tear when John Lennon died. A shared connection through music unites so many.

Brewdolf · 28/12/2016 00:39

I saw somewhere - may have been another thread on here - that part of the over outpouring at celebrity deaths this year has been down to the, sorry to put it so crassly, quality of them. We always see a lot of them and a lot of people have shitty years coinciding, but we don't tend to see this amount of exceptionally renowned deaths.

SantaPleaseBringMeEwanMcGregor · 28/12/2016 01:58

Brewdolf, CNN did an article about that.

www.cnn.com/2016/12/26/entertainment/musician-deaths-2016-year-music-died/?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion

"Sunday's startling death of pop singer George Michael caps 12 wretched months in which we've already said goodbye to David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Prince, Merle Haggard and Leonard Cohen, to name just a quintet of hugely popular and influential performers.

"It might be the deadliest era for pop music legends since 1970-71, when we lost Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Louis Armstrong in a sorrowful span of 11 months."

And that's just talking about musicians.

mummyplus7 · 28/12/2016 03:00

Agree. Hubby was spouting this off this morning.

Lweji · 29/12/2016 22:03

This is what MN In the News looks like:

In the news on Mumsnet Talk

NHS warns of middle aged health crisis
Screen icon Debbie Reynolds dies
Carrie Fisher dies following heart attack
Singer George Michael has died
Status Quo's Rick Parfitt has died

Yes, middle aged health crisis indeed...

MagicChicken · 30/12/2016 07:48

I think the NHS have always known there is a middle aged health crisis and have been telling us for years. But some bright spark in the press office has suggested that now would be a really good time to hammer the message home again, more loudly.

It's the end of The Year Where Everyone Died. All those famous people who were merely middle aged or perhaps on the brink of old age but nevertheless they died before their time and it will be making many people of the same age or approaching it reflect on the price you pay for hard living or over-indulgence.

A few days before NYE when everyone will be making promises to themselves to purge, diet, turn over a new leaf, lose weight, take up some exercise, dieting, etc.

I think this might be the year where more people actually do it instead of just intending to do it.

MagicChicken · 30/12/2016 07:50

oh dear. I managed to say diet/lose weight three times there. Confused

Lweji · 30/12/2016 17:35

Well, it's definitely confirmed as horrific.

a) The Greek ambassador in Brazil was found dead and burnt in a car.

b) And more importantly, the inventor of Kinder Surprised has gone too!!! I know this will be a shock to most MNetters who probably thought he wasn't alive anyway.

Fauchelevent · 30/12/2016 17:42

I haven't rtft but I lost my Mum in February this year. That people are proclaiming this year to be awful comforts me a lot. It's the worst year of my life, and unrelentingly shit as more terrible things happened to me personally. That it's universally seen as an annus horribilis brings me a lot of comfort.

Graphista · 30/12/2016 17:43

Vera Rubin has also passed, an eminent scientist who pushed for more stem places for women in American universities and wasn't backward in raising the issue with those who didn't admit female applications for stem courses. She did amazing work on dark matter apparently (I say apparently as I'm not good at science personally so don't feel completely qualified to comment).

Several other scientists felt she should have received a Nobel prize. She enjoyed her work and and all her children went onto great work in the sciences too including her daughter.

A sad loss.

Lweji · 30/12/2016 17:46

Yes, I saw about Vera. It was a few days ago, wasn't it?

Lots of people die this time of the year. Two of my grandparents did. I think it's the cold of the lack of sunlight or all the cold/flu viruses going around or something. Which may also explain the increase at the beginning of 2016.

dailymaillazyjournos · 30/12/2016 17:55

I agree OP. Truly bad things have happened this year - Syria, Brexit, Trump, Putin kicking off and the emerging consequences and watching and waiting about how things will pan out over the next few years.

The death of celebs, like the death of anyone who dies relatively young, is tragic. But sadly it happens. It's not fair and it's totally crap but heart failure, cancers, addictions - are part of the frailty of the human mind and body. When someone who is near our age dies, it's a nasty little reminder that we can't guarantee living till a ripe old age no matter how much we do to try increase our chances of one.

I was a massive David Bowie fan and am really sad that he is no longer with us and yes I did well up when I heard the news, but the real grief belongs to his family and his friends imo. He may have touched our lives a heck of a lot, maybe helped us through hard times in our lives with his music, but maybe feeling grateful that he did so much artistically, musically and challenging stereotypes is more of a positive thing to do. Some of those that died this year were old and it's very sad but getting old and then dying is what happens. I've lost my parents and that was raw and totally all-consuming grief, but that surely is very different to the grief for someone you have probably never met and don't actually know?