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AIBU?

My v good mate has asked me to babysit her son...........................

93 replies

MagicalMay · 19/02/2007 19:42

She said she was going to pay me and we agreed to 1 day a week. This was a few wks ago. She txt'd me last night about this wed, i didnt even know it was this week she was going back to work. She has not said anything about how much she is going to pay me. Should i call / txt her & ask or wait and see? My mum said not to do it if she offers me less than £15 for the day? Is that wrong? is it right? .................Help

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moondog · 19/02/2007 19:43

Text her back.
Tell her what you want.

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CristinaTheAstonishing · 19/02/2007 19:50

£15 for the day makes it less than £2 an hour. Too much hassle, I think, esp if you'd then need to pay tax on this too (I don't know how this works).

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Bobalina · 19/02/2007 19:50

Agree with moondog. Tell her what you want. If you don't, you will feel resentful and 'put upon'.

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morningpaper · 19/02/2007 19:53

You need to register as a childminder etc. surely?

Then work out a reasonable rate.

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fruitful · 19/02/2007 19:53

Will you be in her house or yours? Because if you're in yours, you have to register as a childminder. You can't get paid to look after someone else's child in your home for more than 2 hours a day (not legally, anyway).

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MagicalMay · 19/02/2007 20:12

I'll be at mine with my DD, It started out just helping a friend out as the cost of full time child care was high. Her mum is having DS 2days a week, me 1day a week, DH's mum 2days a week.
I didnt know i had to register. Am i gonna get in real trouble then?
God im gonna feel terrible letting her down now she has started work.

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northerner · 19/02/2007 20:14

Do you work? And if so can she not return teh favour? Or haelp with your dd at weekends/the odd sleepover?

That way no money changes hands.

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pointydog · 19/02/2007 20:26

I know some of you are saying this is illegal and I know nothing about the ins and outs of this, but would it really be a no-no to get a friend to look after your kid and pay them £20 or so?

Would it be ok if there was no payment? If so, I'd tend to quietly slip them the cash anyway.

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MagicalMay · 19/02/2007 20:35

No im not working at the moment, going back to work when DD is 3. She was the one who offered to give me some money

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gothicmama · 19/02/2007 20:37

you could do it but have money to cover expenses that way it will not affect your benefits if you are receiving them if not then it should be alright to recive a fee, as your friend knows you, however your friend would be able to claim childminding tacx credit cos you are not registered

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flutterbee · 19/02/2007 20:40

Obviously you are just going to be looking after her as a favour to a friend and not as a chosen career option so No you don't have to register and you won't get into trouble.

I think that £15 for the day sounds about right, I wouldn't expect much more if I was doing it to help a friend out.

If however you want to do it more as a business then Yes you need to register and need to charge more.

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Hassled · 19/02/2007 20:41

From the National Childminder's Association website:
"Anyone who looks after other people's children in their own home for more than two hours at a time for payment or reward must, by law, be registered as a childminder".
Sorry

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Hassled · 19/02/2007 20:43

NCMA link is here

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flutterbee · 19/02/2007 20:44

My sister has agreed to help me out with my return to work by looking after 15mo ds for about 10 hrs a week.

I am going to give her about £15ish and she certainly isn't registered or ever going to be.

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flutterbee · 19/02/2007 20:45

WOW millions of Grandmas up and down the country must be breaking the law then

Ridiculous and stupid law.

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pookey · 19/02/2007 21:21

I thinkthat £4 an hour would be the minimum I would expect to be paid (I don't know anything about the legalities of this) - people I know of pay cleaners about £7 per hour cash in hand and there is much more responsibility involved in looking after someones child. I guess it depends where you live and how much childminders in the area charge. To be honest why not just look into becoming a childminder and then everything is ligit and you could both agree a fair amount based on how many children of your own you will be looking after at the same time etc?

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pookey · 19/02/2007 21:26

Just to add i think it is unfair to take advantage of a friend by paying very little - guess it depends on how much she will be getting paid.

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compo · 19/02/2007 21:27

I think it depnds on what she expects you to do with him. If she is providing all his meals and money for him to go out to soft play etc then the money she would pay you would be less than what a chuldminder asks. If it's for a mate then I don't think you need to be registered tbh

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J20BABY · 19/02/2007 21:27

Is she a good friend?

i think you should wait and see

i have 2 friends that help me out for childcare, while i work, and i am eternally grateful, also thet know if they ever need me, i will do what i can to help.

isn't that what friendship is about?

if your not that bothered about money, i think £10 would cover expenses wouldn't it?

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pookey · 19/02/2007 21:40

Its very tricky to get the balance right so you are both getting a fair deal I guess.

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estatebabe · 19/02/2007 21:49

flutterbee - immediate family i.e. grandparents etc can look after kids without being registered, but it means the parents cannot claim the tax benefit from using a registered childminder.

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julienetmum · 19/02/2007 22:34

I agree that this is illegal, you could be liable for a huge fine if you get found out. All it takes is a disgruntled childminder living nearby to notice the arrangment and report you.

Close family members are exempt.

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MagicalMay · 19/02/2007 23:01

She's a real good mate.
I have been looking into getting a small job - Im on Benefits and can earn upto £20 a week without effecting my benefits. This is why she asked me.
On wednesdays im out in the morning and at TinyTots in the afternoon. I've had to buy a double buggy (2nd hand) as i dont drive so will be getting busses everywhere.
I want to help out but it seems to be getting less nice and its not even started yet
Oh and they have enough money.

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Clarinet60 · 19/02/2007 23:24

They don't do a lot if you do get reported. My friend (who is a trained nursey teacher, but not a registered childminder) was looking after my kids in this way and someone reported her. The authorities came round to ask her and she told them what she wanted them to know and they bogged off.

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madamez · 19/02/2007 23:33

This does seem to be one of those laws that gets bent and worked around a lot (not necessarily a bad thing). But maybe you need to have a chat with your mate about the legal aspect to the extent that, if it's all part and parcel of a general give-and-take friendship thing ie she's going to look after your LOs at times as well or she'll walk your dog or redecorate your kitchen or whatever, then that's not any official person's business, but if you're doing it for set hours regularly then either you look into registering (to keep everyone safe and happy) or you agree between you that no money changes hands (but she brings round, for instance, a weekly basket of groceries or allows you use of her car or some such thing).