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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to give my children a Christmas present?

129 replies

Frogandbear · 23/12/2016 17:32

I'm currently wrapping presents and my husband is having a tantrum. Angry I said that I wanted the main present to be from Mummy and Daddy and the smaller gifts in the Santa sack to be from Father Christmas. Husband is furious and says that all presents should be from Father Christmas! Hmm He is obsessed with having everything his way and can't see my point of view. Sad

I've taken the time to carefully pick out presents I know the children will love (he picked one present...) - surely I'm not be unreasonable to want at least one of the presents to be from Mummy and Daddy? Why the heck should Father Christmas take all the credit for the gifts?

AIBU to want to have my children know that Mummy has bought them a present?

OP posts:
StewieGMum · 23/12/2016 21:05

Everyone has different traditions about Christmas. There is no wrong or right: just what works for you.

A husband, on the other hand, who insists on being right, has tantrums and is aggressive is always wrong. And, frankly, who delivers the presents under the tree is irrelevant when your husband is a dick.

Hulababy · 23/12/2016 21:15

Here Father Christmas just brings one present. It is unwrapped and has traces of elf dust. We don't do stockings. Rest are named from the person who has bought/sent it including several from us, the parents.

kissingJustForPractice · 23/12/2016 21:19

Father Christmas brought stocking presents in our house (ours too old for FC now. But not stockings, obv.) other presents from whoever gave them, it all gets a bit complicated otherwise - I remember an acquaintance shushing me quickly when I said I just had a bit of wrapping to do in front of her children! (Why would we be wrapping if Father Christmas brought everything)

And I can completely understand wanting credit - especially all those Christmasses when I had worked my arse off and was completely frazzled, a thank you and a bit of appreciation for a well chosen present went down really well. We're not all saintly martyrs.

Hulababy · 23/12/2016 21:21

I am sure when I was small Santa was more of a delivery service though. We didn't have stockings when I was small. But we got presents labelled from family inc mum and dad.

kissingJustForPractice · 23/12/2016 21:23

(and it feels lovely when your child sees how much they are loved because you picked up on something they said months and months ago and sought it out because you wanted to give them something special.)

FourKidsNotCrazyYet · 23/12/2016 21:30

We just do stockings from Santa. Otherwise how do you get your children to thank other relatives that bought them gifts?

mypropertea · 23/12/2016 21:38

Please see eloquent explanation as to why big Santa gifts may not be a good idea.

AIBU to want to give my children a Christmas present?
AIBU to want to give my children a Christmas present?
KellyBoo800 · 23/12/2016 21:40

I remember as a child all our presents came from Father Christmas, and I remember wondering why other family members bought us presents but our parents didn't (especially as we also got gifts for our presents).

With DSD, all presents at her mums come from Santa, but at our house her dad decided that santa would just bring a few presents (plus stocking) and the rest would be from us. Much easier teaching her about the value of presents too when she knows why she can't ask for a hundred different things that all cost the earth!

CuntyMcCuntyface · 23/12/2016 21:45

All our presents come from us, theyre just brought by Santa on Christmas Eve. We buy them, wrap; them then send them off to Santa for safe keeping.

Yesitsmeagain · 23/12/2016 22:25

myproper clearly Father Christmas has to be paid for! Xmas HmmXmas Wink

BIgBagofJelly · 23/12/2016 22:27

I do find it bizarre that some people pretend all presents are from santa and expect other relatives to play along and not get a thank you for the presents they gave. So since the DC will know everyone else is giving them presents it does seem odd their parents wouldn't.

We did the main presents under the tree from mum and dad and stocking presents from santa. My DD is getting her main from santa because they made a big deal of writing to FC at school and the one thing she asked for (and has been asking for since September) is big enough on it's own so she can have smaller pressies from us.

gillybeanz · 23/12/2016 22:30

All presents came from FC in our house, we don't like Santa/ Satan.
it's something you need to agree on though, and luckily me and dh did.
A compromise would be mummy and Santa if your dh wants them all from Santa.

deblet · 23/12/2016 22:34

Bless him he wants all gifts to come from Santa at his age ahh. Sit him down and explain that No Mummy and daddy do big/main presents and sack gifts are from Santa. Santa does not have enough money to bring the main gift but the elves can make the smaller ones for everyone. From the story Santa evolved from to most stories you read now his gifts are put in the stockings. How do children learn to appreciate the thought their parents put in if Santa gives all the gifts?

MyWineTime · 23/12/2016 22:44

I can't believe this is worth an argument!
We did everything from Santa apart from gifts from relatives - my kids never questioned that. Santa was never that serious in our house, it was a bit of fun and a little bit of magic when the kids were little.

InfiniteCurve · 23/12/2016 22:54

We never did Father Christmas at all in our house,growing up .Well,I think when we were little we thought he delivered the presents but we always knew they came from Mum and Dad,and Gran,and relatives.
We ( now DH and I rather then 'we my family of origin') did the same with our children and it's worked ok for us!

underneaththeash · 23/12/2016 23:07

Nope it is LAW that big presents come from parents (cos then they appreciate them more) and santa brings smaller presents.

Your DH is incorrect Smile

Willow2016 · 23/12/2016 23:30

No way, Santa brings stockings stuff and a couple of others the rest are from me and ex.

Why on earth would we give presents to other people yet not give our own kids presents?

Tell him to stop being a dick and write from who you like on the tags.

kissingJustForPractice · 23/12/2016 23:58

Or - how about all the ones your husband has chosen, bought and wrapped can be from Father Christmas and the ones you've sorted can be from Mummy?

kittymamma · 24/12/2016 00:15

I am so lucky that my DH doesn't really care about Christmas...

It seems I wasn't the only one who was told Father Christmas was the delivery man as a child. My parents weren't much into encouraging that lie though, we picked it up from school and TV and our parents didn't want us going to school ruining for the other children so played along.

I prefer the idea of Father Christmas bringing the stocking fillers (chocolate) and one (low cost) gift that my child has actually asked for. The rest are from us. I always make a point of saying that you can't ask for too much from him because he gets gifts for everyone.

I think your DH is massively unreasonable to not be willing to consider your take on this. I think saying all but one gift is from santa, is more than generous towards the fictional character.

BlackeyedSusan · 24/12/2016 01:41

I buy some of the presents and send them to santa. apparently I also pay santa which explains why he delivers x boxes and i-phones to other kids in the class and not to my dcs. ds wanted to know what happens when parents do not pay santa.

this is because when they were small I had to shop with them, and things got put in the present cupboard to be sent to santa.

Sybys · 24/12/2016 04:30

Growing up I was another that had stocking fillers and maybe one other present from Santa, main presents from whoever bought them.

Exchanging gifts with your family is surely a fairly normal part of Christmas?

AristonAndOn · 24/12/2016 04:56

In the morning it is all from Father Christmas. They know extra presents are given to them by family later. It's never occurred to me to sign the presents from ourselves, probably because my parents never did. I never wondered why my parents hadn't bought me things.

TataEs · 24/12/2016 05:03

santa brings the stockings here. so pj's, chocs, a toy, a book, socks etc
we do this because i hate the idea of some children getting loads form santa and some only getting a small gift. i don't want my kid going school and saying santa brought him a xbox and bike (he hasn't actually received either but u get the point) when the next kid got a board game to share with their siblings.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/12/2016 06:06

Stocking gifts from Santa small bits and bobs here. When dd was younger she insisted on Santa bringing a certain gift so he did and that was a bigger present. (Peppa pig influence). All the rest from mummy and daddy.etc.
Imo it isn't good for the child to think they all come from fc. What happens when they stop believing? And why does fc bring so many presents to one child and so few to another.

A couple of times dh and I have given presents only for the child to be told by their parents that Santa stopped at our house with a gift for their child. I was not best pleased and discouraged me from buying presents for their children again.

So if your dh thinks all presents come from Santa, he may need a rethink.

HeadDreamer · 24/12/2016 06:30

Santa only brings what is in the stocking here. I don't think it is right the kids didn't know the presents come from us. I even told 5yo santa can't afford large expensive presents because he has to buy for everyone!