AIBU to want to give my children a Christmas present?

[Frogandbear]

I'm currently wrapping presents and my husband is having a tantrum. I said that I wanted the main present to be from Mummy and Daddy and the smaller gifts in the Santa sack to be from Father Christmas. Husband is furious and says that all presents should be from Father Christmas! He is obsessed with having everything his way and can't see my point of view.

I've taken the time to carefully pick out presents I know the children will love (he picked one present...) - surely I'm not be unreasonable to want at least one of the presents to be from Mummy and Daddy? Why the heck should Father Christmas take all the credit for the gifts?

AIBU to want to have my children know that Mummy has bought them a present?

We buy them and Santa delivers them IF and ONLY if they are deserved...

totoro that's exactly how my parents did it. It was nice to get two present opening sessions and show them what santa had brought me, and then feel spoilt because 'oh wow look all of this for me too off mum and dad! Thanks guys!'

That's the way it was done when I was younger but everyone does it different ways.
Presents at home from Santa and from grandparents and aunts and uncles etc from them. Didn't ask friends how many they had so the whole others got more didn't matter etc.

Just write the child's name on the label, no "love from xyz" - your children will decide who they are from automatically.
It's honestly the perfect solution (because it's what I do )

Stockings and some presents from Santa, rest from whoever bought them.

I think it's better for a variety of reasons.

That aside, is your DH normally so instant about having his own way?

Back in the day, 1950s-1960s ..
Father Christmas filled the stocking with little things like a tangerine and choc pennies
All presents had the names of the givers

much fairer, imo, especially for those givers who are not the parents

Santa does 'sack' here. It's not a huge sack but a material one we bought for Ds first Xmas and he could fit in it - cute! (He was a few months!)

Presents under tree are from me (no father about). Presents at mum and dads are from aunts, great aunts, nanny/grandad etc etc.

Santa does little gifts, gadgety things and usually something 'bigger'. Not necessarily expensive. Last year Ds got all the craft stuff to make his Hornby base from Santa - accessories and train from me and my parents.

"Husband is furious and says that all presents should be from Father Christmas!"
And he's having a tantrum? Jeez. What a prince.

What would the children make of that? Because they'll be seeing others getting presents that are not-from-Santa. Your presents to grandparents, cousins etc. But you got nothing for your own children . How screwed up is that scenario?

Do what you are doing OP. The everything-from-Santa brigade are deeply misguided IMO. Why can't their parents buy them things too?

We do stocking in bedroom plus big present downstairs from Santa - presents from other people were labelled as such so DS can thank them. I have never felt I needed credit for the gifts he gets, he's happy, I'm happy. Someone in your family is going to have to compromise on their long held beliefs about how Christmas should be done OP, but really neither of you are right and neither of you is wrong.

I never got a present labelled from my parents as a child, can't say I noticed, certainly didn't disturb me or leave me heartbroken.

According to DH, parents buy and Santa delivers. Easiest way to explain why they can't have all the expensive gadgets some of their friends might be getting. Though now I just pretend the stockings are from Santa and everything else is from us. My boys aren't really convinced about Santa anyway but realise it's in their own interest to play along (and for the sake of toddler DD)

We've always done it your way - presents in a sack from Santa, main presents from Mum and Dad under the tree. But I guess your DH's family tradition was that everything came from FC, hence him throwing a strop about the proposal to do something different. Maybe suggest to him that it's time to establish your own family traditions rather than follow your respective parents' traditions blindly?

Father Christmas did stocking (later pillowcase) with mandatory tangerine. Everything else from the giver.

If nothing else, it was invaluable for my parents in lean years for making it clear lists had to be short and not everything would be bought - difficult to do if a magical character is responsible for the shopping.

Thank-you letter writing set in on Boxing Day.

We haven't up to now bought anything for the kids well they get small gifts from us on Christmas eve but my daughter 5 saw the doll house they are getting by accident, I told her we had just borrowed her cousins to take a pic to send to Santa to make sure he made the right one and made it disappear pronto and told her her Uncle took it back to their house she believes me but was debating on giving them that as a mum and dad gift seeing she saw it not sure though. Oh and I dont understand gifts from other people being from Santa who does that buy your own Santa gifts.

I'm with your dh. You will get the credit for all the presents when they grow up and realise it was all you. You don't have to take your fair share of gratitude right now at the risk of reducing some of the magic of santa. They don't need to be told "this present is from so and so", they just love to see presents and think "yay santa, yay presents"! Don't complicate it for the sake of your ego.

I really can't understand everything coming from Santa. Surely children wonder everyone else gets them a pressie, but their parents just don't. We're a stocking presents from Santa and then a main present from parents family. Stocking presents keep children occupied until after lunch when you open the tree pressies.

My main present was definitely from Santa and usually just asked for one/two things in my letter. Only thing disappointed to not get was Mr Frosty lol. Ones under the tree just never labelled so assumed also. Intresting to see how people do it differently but no right/wrong way just what you feel works.

With the whole thing about getting more/less than their friends - do kids really talk to their friends about every single present they get??

None of mine have to my knowledge

My kids have never asked who bought what and we have never mentioned it. Each present has the child's name on it but nothing else. The kids don't care. i reckon that a lot of Christmas stress is this kind of stuff- it matters to the parents but the children couldn't care less.

...picked by MUMMY for Santa (write it on them all, your husband might just spontaneously combust leaving just a hand, holding the pen?)

My husband and I both had a different idea on the Santa thing.

Difference is, we compromised. We also didn't care THAT much and didn't tantrum over it.

I think the bigger issue here is a) his tantrum, suggesting aggression and an argument, and b) that you feel he never listens to your views.

We told ours that we send money to FC, as they clocked the radio station asking for toys and wondered why some children wouldn't get anything at Christmas.

All from Santa here, they get Christmas eve package from mum and dad with treats and new jammies. Not fussed with credit just want to enjoy the magic while they are young and see their wee faces light up. When they are older they will look back and see how good we were to them and hopefully appreciate the effort we went to, to make the happy.

You're both being VU.

You are unreasonable for wanting 'credit'. An adult being envious of Father Christmas smacks of serious insecurities.

And you're DH is VU for being furious.

to the both of you.