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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to give my children a Christmas present?

129 replies

Frogandbear · 23/12/2016 17:32

I'm currently wrapping presents and my husband is having a tantrum. Angry I said that I wanted the main present to be from Mummy and Daddy and the smaller gifts in the Santa sack to be from Father Christmas. Husband is furious and says that all presents should be from Father Christmas! Hmm He is obsessed with having everything his way and can't see my point of view. Sad

I've taken the time to carefully pick out presents I know the children will love (he picked one present...) - surely I'm not be unreasonable to want at least one of the presents to be from Mummy and Daddy? Why the heck should Father Christmas take all the credit for the gifts?

AIBU to want to have my children know that Mummy has bought them a present?

OP posts:
Yesitsmeagain · 23/12/2016 18:55

your, obvs.

crazydoglady6867 · 23/12/2016 18:58

All of our presents came from mummy and daddy/ grandma etc. Santa was just the man that decided if they could have them or not, which is why on Christmas Eve we loaded the car up with bags to take to santa and they wen to bed hoping they had been good enough to get all of them or just a few. It worked for our kids and by the time they were both 10 we didn't bother with santa anymore. All families are different and you should just go with what works for you.

DoosyFartlek · 23/12/2016 19:01

Santa brings a stocking only here. Any gifts under the tree are bought from relatives or friends. My kids remember who bought what and really appreciate how thoughtful others have been

DoosyFartlek · 23/12/2016 19:03

Gifts under the tree from parents too

JustSpeakSense · 23/12/2016 19:04

Stocking and 1 gift from Santa here, all the rest from us.

DoosyFartlek · 23/12/2016 19:07

It's not about the adults getting credit. My kids remember who gave what for years. They love that others have thought of them and so it's a lively link to friends and family we don't see very often.

BubbleFairy · 23/12/2016 19:13

Another here that I buy the presents but Santa used to deliver them. As a lone parent on a very small budget my kids were taught them from an early age, so they understood the concept of limits on their presents. They've got to the age of 10 and 8 quite happily with this, and have naturally outgrown the Santa concept this year.

Notso · 23/12/2016 19:14

As a child both DH and I only had presents from FC and friends and family. Not from parents. No stockings either, I didn't realise people did 'just' stockings from FC until DC1 was about 5.
That's what our parents had too. That's what we do for our DC though they get a stocking too. None of the four have queried why we don't get them a present.
DD then around 6 or 7 now 16 did once ask why her friend got things like pants and hair bobbles from Father Christmas rather than toys.

notrocketscience · 23/12/2016 19:29

Stockings are from FC (although this year from Mum), all other presents clearly marked with the recipient and givers names. Same way as I grew up. The dog gets a stocking and the tree gets covered with chocolates very late on Christmas Eve. To maintain the illusion, I got a stocking too. And do you know what? It's really fun waking up and seeing one on the end of your bed!

ThanksForAllTheFish · 23/12/2016 19:30

Santa brings one or 2 gifts and fills the stockings in this house. The rest are from mum & dad, other family members etc.

To me this is the best way as it makes it easier to explain to children why some only get a few gifts and others get loads. (Not that Santa likes some children more and gives them 15 gifts but only gives poorer children 1 or 2).

You do need to be careful though. Santa presents are in different wrapping paper from mum and dad gifts (that was how I figured out Santa wasn't real as a child as my mum used the same wrapping paper).

DD did ask a few days ago why Santa brings her friend loads of presents and she only gets 1 or 2. I just said that her mum and dad probably don't believe in Santa so the wrap presents and pretend they are from Santa (so her friend isn't disappointed). Then Santa will still deliver his gifts any way so she really only gets the same amount of gifts from the real Santa.

I do have a feeling that it will be game over next year for Santa in this house, she's already asking questions. I think deep down she knows the truth but doesn't want to believe it yet.

Violetcharlotte · 23/12/2016 19:46

Stockings from Santa, everything else from parents/ whoever it's from.

I think if everything's from Santa it's hard for those children who don't get as much as others. It's hard to explain why Santa will bring one child and XBox but not another!

CalebHadToSplit · 23/12/2016 19:59

Stockings only from Father Christmas in our house as that's what my family did when I was little. Always magical how the stocking was filled that he didn't need to bring anything bigger.

saoirse31 · 23/12/2016 20:07

Parents don't buy kids Xmas presents in my house, they're from santy. Relatives presents r from relatives.

AndNowItsSeven · 23/12/2016 20:11

Santa delivering presents is just bizarre , where do people get that idea from?

FrameyMcFrame · 23/12/2016 20:13

I've always done it all from Santa, but only because that's how it was when I was little.

Sort of wish I hadn't.

RaspberryOverloadsOnMincePies · 23/12/2016 20:15

Stockings from Santa and other presents from the givers.

twosleepstillchristmas · 23/12/2016 20:17

We do santa tax here, all presents under the tree on Christmas morning are from santa but mummy has to pay a santa tax (which is why mummy has no money and other children may get more valuable presents) presents from relatives are later on and labelled.

ticklingafoot · 23/12/2016 20:34

We tell our 4 year old that we 'pay pennies' to Father Christmas and he makes the presents in his workshop!

Best of both worlds.

Rainydayspending · 23/12/2016 20:37

I don’t do santa, never have. But saint nick just does stockings right?

Rainydayspending · 23/12/2016 20:38

Santa delivering presents is just bizarre , where do people get that idea from?

Hollywood i think.

lapsedorienteerer · 23/12/2016 20:40

Here the main present is always from parents, stocking from Santa is just some fun, smaller 'stuff'.

CurbsideProphet · 23/12/2016 20:44

Frog is this more than presents? I would find it miserable to live with a man obsessed about having his own way who never listened to my point of view.

BatFacedGirl · 23/12/2016 20:52

I've never had to explain this to my kids in 18 years of being a parent. They come downstairs and oh look, Father Christmas has been. They've never questioned who buy the presents although of course they now know it's not FC!

I think you're overthinking this

MrGrumpy01 · 23/12/2016 21:00

Many, many years ago when I was a wee girl all the presents came from FC. However our stockings also contained presents labeled from relatives whose lived away and therefore wouldn't be seeing. It made perfect sense they sent them to Santa to deliver to us. Years later mum let on that she did it like this to pad out our stockings. I also never had issues with the fact that there was nothing from Mum and Dad. Surely by the time they realise that is an issue they don't believe anyway.

Anyway all from FC here, but when I say all i don't mean relative ones as well and I'm sure most people aren't ripping labels off presents

Op YANBU but neither is your dh.

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 23/12/2016 21:04

My daughter has started asking why we don't give her Xmas gifts like we give everybody else. This year she is getting a couple from us!