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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to give my children a Christmas present?

129 replies

Frogandbear · 23/12/2016 17:32

I'm currently wrapping presents and my husband is having a tantrum. Angry I said that I wanted the main present to be from Mummy and Daddy and the smaller gifts in the Santa sack to be from Father Christmas. Husband is furious and says that all presents should be from Father Christmas! Hmm He is obsessed with having everything his way and can't see my point of view. Sad

I've taken the time to carefully pick out presents I know the children will love (he picked one present...) - surely I'm not be unreasonable to want at least one of the presents to be from Mummy and Daddy? Why the heck should Father Christmas take all the credit for the gifts?

AIBU to want to have my children know that Mummy has bought them a present?

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 23/12/2016 17:55

Love this debate every year.

I don't write anything on the presents other than child's name, they have never asked who they were from but now they are older they know they are from me obviously. We do stockings a presents under the tree, they don't get many from relatives or friends so most are bought by me.

I think it should be one main present from Father Christmas and stocking, the rest from parents and family.

SummerSazz · 23/12/2016 17:56

Stocking and one gift on the bed from Santa. Everything else labelled and under tree to open after breakfast

Champagneformyrealfriends · 23/12/2016 17:57

I don't understand why you need "credit"? My parents told us everything was from Santa, apart from the presents from other relatives and friends.

CherrySkull · 23/12/2016 17:57

santa is just a glorified delivery boy in our house, everything is labelled from us and family, he just brings them.

SquinkiesRule · 23/12/2016 17:57

Santa brings some stocking stuffers here, they are at the end of the bed in the morning and the rest under the tree are from whoever bought them.
My friend did the everything is from Santa one year when hers were little. She actually removed the tags from things we go her children and I was annoyed. From then on I wrote on the paper and the kids knew who sent them.

TheProblemOfSusan · 23/12/2016 17:58

Father Christmas brings the stocking, which are small presents. Also a tangerine. Everything else is from whoever bought it, including a big one from mum and dad.

bangs gavel, for this is the LAW

(Also FATHER CHRISTMAS. None of this santa nonsense in my childhood home.)

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 23/12/2016 17:59

In our house, Mum and Dad buy all presents (then send them to the North Pole for delivery). That means we each give DS a couple of gifts from each of us on our own, then main gifts from both of us. Of course with DS now being 16 we don't use the Santa pretence any more, but we used to.

happychristmasbum · 23/12/2016 17:59

You are correct OP and DH is all kinds of wrong.

BoboBunnyH0p · 23/12/2016 18:00

Here Santa brings one present the rest are from us (mum & dad). Helps children appreciate money and that they can't have everything. Plus I think our approach is the reason why my DD 10 still believes (I think she still believes this year, but I have some doubts. She hasn't asked outright as I don't think she wants it confirming)

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 23/12/2016 18:00

All presents bought my mummy and daddy come from Santa here. Any from other people come from them. Plenty of time for presents to come from us when they don't believe anymore! Getting the credit for presents has never crossed my mind tbh.

DinosaursRoar · 23/12/2016 18:01

stockings and one gift (in the room) from Father Christmas - rest is from us.

This is particularly important if you live in an area with people with a wide range of incomes, the alternative is that the poorer children feeling they weren't as good as the richer ones, questions about why did Santa bring X the Y toy but they didn't get it? (This year has been important as DC1 had asked for one thing that was over £200 and we just couldn't afford it for one gift)

Does your DH think that all gifts - including the ones from Aunts/Uncles/Grandparents should be from Father Christmas? If so, how will you get your DCs to say thank you for the gifts, or will they be just rude and not do? If not, then they will get gifts from Father Christmas, Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, but then nothing from their parents...

Unicornsarelovely · 23/12/2016 18:01

Here Santa brings stockings. All tree presents are from the giver. It works well for us and everyone else we know seems to do it that way. Santa bringing all presents seems a bit weird to me - if you visit friends before Christmas and take presents do you have to secretly squirrel them into the house? Do they get rewrapped? What about late presents? We're seeing picks on Boxing Day and the will open presents from them with them - does everything have to be sent in advance if Santa brings it?

daisypond · 23/12/2016 18:01

Stocking presents only are from Father Christmas. Anything else is from parents, granny, etc.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 23/12/2016 18:02

All of them (apart from the one df chose) from mummy, because daddy is a lazy twonk.
Not really, but very tempting. Xmas Wink

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 23/12/2016 18:02

Whatever you decide you shouldn't do so based on 'getting credit' for the presents. That's not what giving/Christmas is all about

pklme · 23/12/2016 18:03

How did you get this far without sorting this out already? Presents are from people, stockings from Santa!

FestiveStinkyPants · 23/12/2016 18:04

All presents from Santa here.

Santa buys them Christmas presents to give mummy and daddy a break as they buy everything all year round.

Don't want credit for presents, just like seeing the kids faces when they open them.

JustanotherMortificado · 23/12/2016 18:05

Do they even read the labels? It's a bit self indulgent don't ya think to want recognition.

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 23/12/2016 18:06

If Father Christmas/Santa brings all the presents how do you explain some children getting more than others?

Crumbs1 · 23/12/2016 18:06

Regardless of how it's done, couples ought to agree before kids or when the first is a baby. You say children so this must have cropped up before.

ChestnutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 23/12/2016 18:06

tantrum furious
He sounds a peach, what a lucky woman you are.
Not that DD ever believed but we used to say stockings were brought by FC and presents by family/friends. If nothing else it prevented the conundrum of why some kids get bought more.

PumpkinPie2016 · 23/12/2016 18:07

We were always told that Father Christmas delivered the presents that mum and dad/granny and grandad/whoever has ordered from him.

This kept the 'magic' of Father Christmas alive but also made sure that we appreciated and said 'thank you' for the things people had chosen for us.

MyNewBearTotoro · 23/12/2016 18:08

There's no right or wrong way to do this but obviously you and your DP will need to find a way to agree.

In my house all gifts from friends/ relatives are labelled as such and are put under the tree when received. The main presents I buy are from Mummy and Daddy and put under the tree the night before. Father Christmas brings a stocking of gifts which he leaves on the foot of the bed in the middle of the night. DC can open these as soon as they wake but have to wait until everyone in the house is ready and gathered in living room to open presents under the tree.

That's the way my parents did it and I never really considered any other way.

Losgunna · 23/12/2016 18:10

Not at all unreasonable. In fact I am having the very same argument with my dp.

He is insisting all presents come from santa, I'm suggesting one big present and a stocking from santa and the rest from us.

I think the poor kid would be gutted if they thought their parents didn't get them anything for Christmas even if santa brought them loads. It was always a mix in our house when I was little which was lovely.

I can't imagine waking up Christmas morning thinking my mum and dad had forgotten me. I would have been heartbroken and I imagine ds would be too.

MyWhatICallNameChange · 23/12/2016 18:12

We/family/friends buy the presents. Father Christmas just delivers them - he's basically a courier.

What do you tell children if you can't afford a present and they think santa pays for them all?