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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is unbelievably tight for a wedding?

415 replies

StingyWedding · 22/12/2016 21:24

Recently attending a wedding of a friend. Amongst various other issues on the day I just felt it was a very poor and stingy wedding, at the reception they had a "hot chocolate bar" - they were charging for this (and tea, and coffee....)

Photo attached which they have proudly displayed on their Facebook.

Am I wrong to think of you invite people to a wedding you actually host and therefore provide for your guests? Not expecting a free bar but some table wine and soft drinks surely?

To think this is unbelievably tight for a wedding?
OP posts:
Kittenrush · 22/12/2016 23:08

multivac 😂

squoosh · 22/12/2016 23:09

And I don't mean laying on a free bar. But charging people for tea and coffee is beyond tight.

MiladyThesaurus · 22/12/2016 23:10

If it's going to be in the papers, let's hope that DH's aunt features. Maybe she'll recognise herself and her son's wedding as she reads it.

Silver linings and all that.

Also journalists looking to fill up space in the online editions, make sure to consider what exactly the venue thought were the 'toppings' for the £2.50 tea.

SociallyAcceptableCookie · 22/12/2016 23:11

Fwiw I completely agree with bibbity. Guests at a wedding are just that. Guests. And they're often expected to be there for 10 hours or more. There should be food. There should be water, at a minimum. Cash bars are pretty much standard where I live now so I'm not bothered by them. But there should certainly be a sense that the families getting married have invited their loved ones to a party and have treated them as guests.

RedBullBlood · 22/12/2016 23:15

I've never heard of such a thing, paying for tea and coffee is beyond the bloody pale. I've been to many, many weddings in my time and don't mind paying for drinks, will pay for food (though I'd be a bit lemon lipped) am prepared to stick muesli bars in my bag for the under caterers etc. but paying for tea!!

Am also intrigued as to the toppings...

JigglyTuff · 22/12/2016 23:17

multivac - I don't expect to get charged to attend someone's party - whether it's a birthday party, wedding or wake. The UK is the only country where this is considered polite. It really isn't.

I'm really embarrassed for the couple in the OP - their granny's going to be scraping around for coppers in her one nice handbag to get a fucking cup of tea.

ManagersDilemma · 22/12/2016 23:24

I agree Jiggly - it is not polite and will never be acceptable (to me, anyway).

ManagersDilemma · 22/12/2016 23:26

I know a couple who married as students and had a cheap wedding. They saved so much money in other areas that they managed to lay on free alcohol. It was the best wedding I've ever been to.

Benedikte2 · 22/12/2016 23:27

The concept of wedding guests being provided with drinks is an old one -- witness the wedding at Canaan where when the wine ran out Jesus turned water into wine.
That aside, I daresay He would have provided tea and coffee too if those beverages had been known then.
Without a drink of some sort how does one drink to the health of the happy couple? I can't imagine paying £5 and toasting them with a fancy cup of creamy chocolate.
This is a very entertaining thread -- how the other half thinks!

squoosh · 22/12/2016 23:28

Weddings where the couple are upfront and say 'please come along and bring some wine and a plate of something' can be brilliant! I'm all for them.

ElaineVintage · 22/12/2016 23:31

I would've bought a flask of tea with me.

Tight arses.

Chelazla · 22/12/2016 23:32

This is a horrible thread. I got married at 8 1/2 months pregnant for that reason! I didn't find out Untik nearly 6! We booked 3 weeks before as it was least time legally allowed! Registry office and pub. We put in a good buffet but guest bought their own drinks and you know what was the most fun day! Everyone was happy and relaxed and had a fab time. I was married before my baby born so really happy. My friend spent 17000 also an amazing day! It's about ppl being happy why start such s bitchy conversation?

JigglyTuff · 22/12/2016 23:39

Absolutely squoosh! I've been to a good few weddings where the party's been in a house or a field or a hall where they've asked people to bring booze or food or do a stint on the bar or whatever. Best weddings I've ever been to really - much more chilled :)

SantasJockstrap · 22/12/2016 23:39

This thread is OTT judgely

I dont blame them, I think each to their own. I mean people have other priorities these days and when getting married may be more interested in the 'getting married' than having a party and showing everyone else a good time - after all the day is about the bride and groom

It is so hard trying to get on the property ladder these days that some people have more realistic targets

Getting married is only about getting married, anyone that don't like the sound of the invite should sod off

roundaboutthetown · 22/12/2016 23:40

Unless they specifically requested no wedding gifts or fancy wedding outfits, then yes, I think it was bloody tight. You should not have to pay £2.50 for a cafe au lait, cup of tea or hot chocolate anywhere, wedding or no wedding! If this is expected on top of having travelled to get there, stay overnight if you travelled a long way, and give the couple a present, then they are taking the piss. I would rather not attend that wedding and meet up with them some other time and place more convenient to myself!!

Rachel0Greep · 22/12/2016 23:46

I think it's mean to not provide tea and coffee to guests. So, IMO, YANBU.
I would never expect a free bar. Ever. But tea and coffee, charging £2.50 for it Hmm

MitzyLeFrouf · 22/12/2016 23:46

Getting married is only about getting married, anyone that don't like the sound of the invite should sod off

And do you think the invite stated that hot drinks would cost £2.50 a pop?

Tight as a duck's arse hole.

ElaineVintage · 22/12/2016 23:47

Charging your guests for a cup of tea.

A CUP Of TEA!!

£2.50!!

Pisstake.

Phalenopsisgirl · 22/12/2016 23:48

Chelazia - you had a simple wedding, no one here has issue with simple, we are talking ott extras, hot chocolate bars in this particular instance, payed for by your guests. No one is suggesting every wedding should have a free hot chocolate bar, rather that if you choose to have a fancy 'feature' then you should cover the cost.

roundaboutthetown · 22/12/2016 23:49

Somehow the, "Please help yourself," makes it seem even more offensive. Grin

roundaboutthetown · 22/12/2016 23:50

If getting married is only about getting married, then a registry office with two witnesses should have been fine.

JigglyTuff · 22/12/2016 23:52

please help yourself to a sprinkling of hot chocolate powder - woo hoo! Or maybe a couple of mini marshmallows. I guess the tea is subbing the 'free' extras.

Phalenopsisgirl · 22/12/2016 23:53

I dont blame them, I think each to their own. I mean people have other priorities these days and when getting married may be more interested in the 'getting married' than having a party and showing everyone else a good time - after all the day is about the bride and groom

If that is how people feel then there is nothing to stop them having a private wedding without guests. However once invited these people are your guests , now you have to look after them.

Viviennemary · 23/12/2016 00:01

It's the p;aying for the tea and coffee I'd object to. If it's a simple wedding then fine. But not charging for cups of tea. What next. Bring your own teabag and some coins for the electric meter. You couldn't make it up. It's a new low.

SantasJockstrap · 23/12/2016 00:03

Has no one ever been a guest at a 'bring your own bottle' party? or a pot luck wedding? Never been invited for dinner at a friends and offered to take the pudding?

Where guests happily contribute towards proceedings

I don't really think it is so bad

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