To think this is unbelievably tight for a wedding?

[StingyWedding]

Recently attending a wedding of a friend. Amongst various other issues on the day I just felt it was a very poor and stingy wedding, at the reception they had a "hot chocolate bar" - they were charging for this (and tea, and coffee....)

Photo attached which they have proudly displayed on their Facebook.

Am I wrong to think of you invite people to a wedding you actually host and therefore provide for your guests? Not expecting a free bar but some table wine and soft drinks surely?

seagaze I also prefer tap water, at any event, including my own wedding. That is what was provided for guests during the meal too. It wasn't fully down to cost either, more that getting drunk doesn't feature in our idea of a good time and we didn't want drunk guests spoiling our day. We spent our budget on a buffet and entertainment instead.

Fair enough bananagreen

We didn't provide table wine because our immediate families don't drink it. We spent money on food including providing particular meals for fussy eaters and paying for the accommodation of many guests who had travelled.

Natalia: My advice to him was to spend at least 75% of their budget on food and drink. Because that is what gets people having a good time. That's what they remember and creates the atmosphere on the day. ... if they've had lots to eat and drink and the atmosphere is generous and merry then a good day will be had by all.

^ this is what weddings should be like.

Unfortunately, bananagreen's post is what they've become. They're no longer about making sure your guests are having a good time anymore. How fucking miserable

more that getting drunk doesn't feature in our idea of a good time
And drinking tap water doesn't feature in mine.

Not even some nice cordials or owt?

It wasn't fully down to cost either, more that getting drunk doesn't feature in our idea of a good time and we didn't want drunk guests spoiling our day

Sounds like an absolute riot 😒

bananagreen do you mean you ONLY served tap water? That's hilarious.

It's a shame if your guests are so uncivilized that they would have got drunk if they had a chance.

I'm quite stunned that people think a wedding should be downgraded if a couple can't essentially afford an open bar. Last time I looked a wedding was about celebrating a couples commitment to each other and its about the only time it IS all about the couple, its not about providing a free night out for your mates.

I've never been to a wedding with an open bar, I've never been to a wedding with free tea and coffee beyond what gets served after the main meal either. Why is paying for a hot choc any different to buying an extra pint/coke? I can understand £2.50 is a lot for a cuppa, but not the shock at having to pay at all.

If a guest was more concerned about whether they'll get free drinks all day and night than being with us to celebrate our marriage and enjoying their free food, drink on arrival, wine on the table, fizzy for toasting, tbh I'd rather they didn't come and saved us some money. Moaning about a hot chocolate no one made you buy just comes across as pathetic and bitchy.

If you've picked a venue that charges your guests £2.50 per cup of tea, you've chosen a lousy venue and are passing the ridiculous cost of your appalling choices onto your guests. There is no getting around the fact that I can see!

I'll second a poster above - I don't feel like this is a venue-provided service. I suspect it's one of the many 'quirky' external providers that fill wedding mags. Ice cream carts, pizza stands, sweeties etc.

I've never been to a wedding yet where a drunk guest has spoilt the day, people who are known to get steaming and cause trouble don't tend to get invited. Ive been to plenty where the guests have been merry and let their hair down, alcohol doesn't have to spoil the day but imo enhance it. All adds to the happy memories. I'd hate to go to a wedding where everyone sat there all sober and sensible. But that's just my opinion. Each to their own as they say.

I agree, that is tight... Like having one of those sweet cart things & expecting guests to pay for a bag of sweets!
At my wedding 'party' we covered the cost of all beer/wine & soft drinks. Anyone wanting spirits paid for them.

If a guest was more concerned about whether they'll get free drinks all day and night than being with us to celebrate our marriage and enjoying their free food, drink on arrival, wine on the table, fizzy for toasting, tbh I'd rather they didn't come and saved us some money
Why would it save you some money, most guests GIVE money to the couple, if a couple gave £100 as a wedding gift you'd probably MAKE money. You've got to expect to provide for your guests. In most cases it's cost them a fortune when you add up all the costs just to celebrate YOUR marriage.

Some of the replies on here are just fucking vile.

I'm quite stunned that people think a wedding should be downgraded if a couple can't essentially afford an open bar.

If you can't afford your wedding, then of course you should invite less people. When I invite people for diner, for Christmas, or to a birthday party, I don't charge them for food or drink. Why would I charge them for my wedding? Most guests are very generous with wedding presents, so it would feel really tacky and mean. You can afford to pay for wedding invites/ dress/ hairdresser/ a venue/flowers/ photographer but you can't afford a few bottles, or "free tea"? Come on.

Having a low-key wedding where everybody brings something is a bit different.

Luckily it seems that most of our guests shared our opinion as we heard afterwoods that a lot (including the photographers) had been talking about what a brilliant time they had and how much fun the day had been.

People know their own families for some they enjoy themselves by eating and drinking fair enough, others enjoy spending time with each other catching up and playing games. We had a very small wedding and invited close family and friends only, all who knew us well enough to know the emphisis of our day would be spending time with family rather than drinking.

As for 75% the budget on food and drink thats just nuts! We spent £500 on food for 40 guests and had loads left over thats 10% of our budget, I seriously doubt our guests, could have drunk the remaining £ 3000 if they tried and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be at that kind of wedding.

I think if you wouldn't be happy just to go to the ceremony with no added extras then don't go at all, because thats the only part of the wedding that actually matters.

One can spend time with the family and drink. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Feeding people and giving them a drink is basic manners.
People will have travelled, bought presents and paid for hotels.

I've been to very few weddings with a free bar I must say and DH often buys a coffee from the bar (cheap). I would expect to pay for drinks beyond arrival/meal/toast.

I went to a night so where we were offered nothing! And you do remember that - we spent a fortune on babysitters, clothes, travel and presents - not to be offered a drink was ridiculous.

We were invited to a wedding once (didn't go) where the bride has a huge strop as people weren't booking to stay in her overpriced venue - if people did stay it made the wedding cheaper for her!
Talk about passing on the cost...

I just can't stop wondering what the toppings were for the English tea....

Maybe because I didn't assume they would bring a gift Seagaze? Maybe because a lot of couples these days say they don't require anything in particular and are happy for their guests just to bring themselves to join in their celebration and not to worry about a gift? Maybe because some people aren't so materialistic that all they care about are the gifts they'll receive? Because most people invite guests that are important to them, and not just whoever they think they will cough up the most ££££? Which is clearly all some people think about

Dingdongthewitchishere, I was referring to those bemoaning the bride having an expensive dress or nice flowers. You only plan to get married once, do people seriously expect the bride and groom to forego a nicer wedding just so they, their guest, can get pissed and or have hot chocolate for free? I can't get my head around that at all tbh. It's a bloody dtink, not a whole meal.

If you are so bloody unmaterialistic, then don't find a venue that charges your guests obscene amounts of money for a cup of tea.

Also many many many people do not provide free drinks all day. There is nothing unusual in that. Clearly none of them should have got married though, as clearly they afford too .

We're not talking about a wedding where NO drinks (or food) were provided either. They were, just not free hot ones.

We are eloping. Soooo much easier!

PurpleMinionMummy

Actually, yes I do. I had a certain budget for my wedding, we only had so much savings, so we calculated how many guests we could afford to invite. Of course, we had a free bar! If people make the effort to attending a wedding, the least you can do is give them food and drink. No one cares about the flowers. It's just really tacky to see that a fortune has been spent on things that will be seen on the "official" photos ( ) whilst the comfort of your guests is not important . It's not a friendly and welcoming wedding. (and yes, people will bitch about you, but you will have pretty photos).

I have never been to a wedding where I was expected to pay for drinks. I would think it extremely rude to expect guests to pay for anything like that! If you cannot afford it there are always other options as previous posters have said.
I spent £180 on a dress and £5k on food and wine