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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does everyone want to live in the US?

846 replies

AteRiri · 22/12/2016 19:43

I was talking to an American friend and he made this blanket statement, "Everyone wants to come here!"

Is this true?

OP posts:
SpareASquare · 23/12/2016 02:02

I feel ashamed reading these posts. Such ignorance

In what way? I'm genuinely curious.

As I've stated, for me, I could never accept that children are acceptable collateral damage to the right to own a gun. That kind of thinking is beyond my comprehension but it is an accepted mindset. The racism, the marginalisation, the abject poverty, these are all things that determine my answer to the question and I'm sure others have similar reasons. Are these things not real? That the country elected Trump is just the icing on the cake.
Is the shameful part the verbalising of these issues? I guess it probably would have been better to answer with just a yes or no.

SenecaFalls · 23/12/2016 02:04

Clearly, the 'majority' don't.

Every single point made by newyorker74 is supported by evidence. Where is your evidence that the majority don't?

It's important to understand that because of the organization of government (state/federal) and the electoral college, the majority does not always prevail. But in many cases, public opinion does sway politicians. For example, one of the reasons that Trump has said that he has no plans to try to make same sex marriage unlawful again is that a majority of Americans support same sex marriage.

SenecaFalls · 23/12/2016 02:07

Also as in abortion rights, same sex marriage is legal in the entire US, unlike the UK.

derxa · 23/12/2016 02:10

It's not ignorance, it's the way the world views the US, in light of many recent events people's opinions are informed by the news they've consumed, I don't think calling all of that ignorant ir useful - it'd be be more useful to wonder why people have formed the opinions they have
Because some people voted Trump you condemn a whole nation. How bloody silly.

Sybys · 23/12/2016 02:11

Abortion rights are, for now at least, okay in the US. The problem is that access to it is so poor.

And if the majority of people in the US want real gun control or want decent maternity leave or paid vacation or affordable education, etc, that's nice and promising, but until these things are actually implemented I'll continue to cite them as reasons why I don't want to live in the US.

Atenco · 23/12/2016 02:26

I live in Mexico and have no interest in living in the US, nor do any of the people I know.

LeadPipe · 23/12/2016 02:31

Atenco Do you have any way of letting Trump know this? Wink

SenecaFalls · 23/12/2016 02:36

And in our defense, we did elect President Obama twice, and he won the popular vote as well as the electoral college. Even now he has a high approval rating. Higher than Trump's in fact.

differentnameforthis · 23/12/2016 02:59

Absolutely not, no thank you!! You couldn't pay me to move there.

newyorker74 · 23/12/2016 03:32

So because the US has poverty, we are suddenly all in favour of it because we live here?I am born and bred British and lived in the UK for 35 years before I moved here and I know for a fact there is poverty, racism, bad politicians who make bad political decisions and all the other things that, at least according to posters here, the entire population of the US is in favour of. Just by the factor of being born or living here. Was Trump a big mistake? yes. But then so was voting in UKIP mps and I don't blame the whole of the UK for that. Just the people who voted for them.

newyorker74 · 23/12/2016 03:38

And some majorities. Over 70% want some kind of gun control. 3 million more people voted for Clinton than Trump. Over 50% want legalisation of soft drugs (hence states now making them legal). Politicians have been working on reforming the Justice system for a while now. 670000 people signed up for Obamacare in 1 day. A policy set in place by a man who compaigned saying that's what he would do. And people voted for him.

Sybys · 23/12/2016 03:38

I'm sorry, but who is saying that all Americans are in favour of poverty?

Longislandicetee · 23/12/2016 03:44

I lived in the US for a while and had the chance to make it permanent. I chose to return to the UK for a number of reasons but included in them was that I was at the beginning stages of an illness and knew that I would have much better employment rights in the UK than the US. Had I stayed permanently in the US, I could very well have found myself jobless because the economy was contracting at the time. Then I would have been screwed from a health care provision perspective. Healthcare is fantastic in the US if you have a job...not so great if you don't or are low paid (pre Obama care).

Typical holiday entitlements are far less than the U.K. standard of 28 days. And maternity leave provisions are far less too.

That all sounds negative to Americans reading this, but that was the choice I made based on facts at hand.

I go to various States in the US several times a year and do a lot of work with Americans. I have just done a quick count and I have visited 16 of the 50 states which is more than your average American. Guns never concerned me when I lived there, nor when I visit, and the food choices are wonderful, particularly seafood in places like Boston.

The American culture is insular and this worries most of the well educated Americans I know. I can understand the comment in the OP. There are enough immigrants from Mexico, Cuba and African countries who want to live there for Americans to get the view that everyone wants to live there. We might look to Calais and form the view that everyone wants to live in the UK. It depends through which lens you look at the question.

From a knowledge perspective even if the average Brit gets their news feed from the tabloids they are still much more knowledgeable about the world in general than the average American. I feel this most when I visit the US and switch on the tv news programmes or get the morning paper while a major world event is going on. In the UK and rest of Europe our tv channels and newspapers would be dominated by that world event but a lot of the time in the US, unless you're watching CNN, that event might largely be ignored by the mainstream channels such as abc, NBC or cbs.

I think if you're a white middle class family with employment then the US has a lot going for it and some of the issues I have mentioned don't resonate (healthcare isn't a problem, you can afford better schooling, and you're likely to be in the 50% of Americans that have passports and use them). Particularly so, if you're on mumsnet. However if you're not in that demographic then some of the things I mentioned matter.

If you're a young black man in the us, you face a racism in your day to day life, same as in the uk. You're far more likely to be subject to stop and search in the UK. But other than the odd case in the UK, stop and search by the police is where it ends. In the US, a young black mans far bigger legitimate concern with the police is that it might be stop and kill rather than stop and search. That's why #Blacklivesmatter has resonated a lot more in the US than in the UK.

On the other hand, in the land of the free, I always meet more immigrants who have done well in the US than their compatriots in the UK.

On a more positive ending note, the fall/season with the celebration of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas is absolutely fantastic and nothing beats pumpkin pie!

I have travelled all over the world, about 40 countries at the last count but one trip I would love to do is a drive across the US.

NinjaLeprechaun · 23/12/2016 03:46

Some of the posts on this thread are the equivalent of somebody saying "I wouldn't want to live in Europe because the weather in Sweden was really bad when I was there, and I don't like spaghetti."

Atenco · 23/12/2016 03:54

One of the things that I find upsetting about the American Way of LIfe are the police inside schools. A friend of mine taught in an elementary school in Chicago and they called the police because a five-year-old stole from a teacher's bag.

Araminta99 · 23/12/2016 03:57

I'd never live there, it would be terrible! I remember once when I was visiting my family there and a group of people asked me where I was from. I said England and someone said, "Wow, England! I've always wanted to go there... I'd love to see the Eiffel Tower!" and the others nodded in agreement. It was such a cringey moment.

SenecaFalls · 23/12/2016 04:09

Some of the posts on this thread are the equivalent of somebody saying "I wouldn't want to live in Europe because the weather in Sweden was really bad when I was there, and I don't like spaghetti."

Grin
BradleyPooper · 23/12/2016 04:13

Wow, never read such ignorance on Mumsnet. How many of you who are so critical have lived here and can draw on first hand experience to back up your prejudice?

DetMcnulty · 23/12/2016 04:15

I'd live there again, and have done previously, spent over a year in San Diego which was beautiful and very friendly, lots of places to visit, wonderful weather etc. Also love spending time in New York, much prefer there to London. Would love to visit New Orleans, definitely on my bucket list too.

Now live in Australia, but you couldn't pay me enough to go back to live in the UK!

Bellaposy · 23/12/2016 04:16

Nope. Can't say I even particularly want to go there on holiday. Much rather Canada.

BradleyPooper · 23/12/2016 04:22

Nola is fabulous Det, one of my favorite places, so totally atmospheric, huge fun and full of people who don't take themselves too seriously.

DixieWishbone · 23/12/2016 04:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieWishbone · 23/12/2016 04:29

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SenecaFalls · 23/12/2016 04:37

I happily misspent a goodly portion of my youth in New Orleans. It's one of my favorite places, but sadly, is still not fully recovered from Katrina. That was devastating and the city has never been quite the same since. I still love it though.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 23/12/2016 04:40

My PiL live in the US, so we visit regularly. There are some things which sre great and some not so much. The racism is blatant in some areas, but then that's true of the UK as well. PiL live in a very rural area and local people are not very well informed about world events. But again, you can find ignorant people in the UK.

Healthcare is a nightmare. My PiL are in their 80s and are not badly off, but insurance premiums for their health care are a fortune. Luckily they are both very healthy, but they worry a lot about gettting ill.

My big issue is the gun laws. Where PiL live there are guns everywhere. Even tiny kids go hunting. There is a gun store near them that we once went to out of curiosity, and this store sold everything from hand guns through to semi automatics. They had rifles in there for 4 year olds ("My first gun"). It was chilling. Even the local Walmart has guns on display which you can just go in and buy. Not sure what checks are carried out, but it seems relatively easy to buy a gun. My FiL is considered very odd by his neighbours because he doesn't own one.

And the homophobia where they live is blatant and just horrible. I do appreciate that other areas of the US don't hold the same attitudes but small town America is, ime, so narrow minded.

I've never been to California, which I imagine is very different to the rural East coast states, so wouldn't mind visiting there. We've spent some holidays in New England which I loved, but still couldn't imagine living even there.