chickenpox and SIL

[APoxyLittleChristmas]

Have NC'd for this. So SIL's DD has broken out in chickenpox. We had planned a family day on Christmas Eve to a soft play area for a santa themed event. I mentioned to SIL that I assumed DN would no longer be going as she has chickenpox and SIL has said it's fine as other kids will need to get it at some point and has asked for us to keep it quiet in case the other parents are annoyed. I am pretty shocked at how casual she is about it and think it's not on to risk the other kids just before Christmas. AIBU to think she shouldn't take DN?

She sounds nice...

I tolerate her at the best of times Joffrey

She ibu! There was a thread on chat this week about a girl who ended up hospitalised with cp.

Dd2 ended up in hospital with chicken pox. Your SIL is a selfish person and somebody needs to stand up to her. There could be people there with reduced immunity. She needs it explained to her.

SIBU. Very selfish attitude. If you are not worried about her being around your family if you've already had it then maybe meet for a walk somewhere outside but definitely wouldn't go to a soft play.

She is bu. Cp can make some people very ill.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2807992-Chickenpox-please-be-careful

Send her this link and see if she still feels the same after reading it.

Post on your local FB Spotted site warning other people not to go there that day.

Be shit if loads of kids get poorly at Christmas.

Wow. She is being entirely U.

If she had come near my ImComp DH I would be madder than a scalded cat. How dare she be so ducking thoughtless. CP kills. Just because it doesn't kill everyone doesn't make it not dangerous.

Tbh I was gobsmacked when she suggested still going but wanted to check if I was overreacting. She has a tendency to be very relaxed about everything and if you don't agree then you're automatically uptight etc. I am very uncomfortable with this. I will challenge her on it. It's just awkward as the rest of the ILs are as barmy as her and will no doubt paint me out to be causing trouble!

Terribly selfish of her. I am not too worried about my dc catching cp whenever it's going around, but when my DD came out in spots while on holiday a few years ago, we came home straight away and kept her apart from others as a matter of courtesy and common sense. Aside from the fact that she felt run-down and poorly in herself, why would anyone purposely spread illness? It doesn't make sense. Most of the time we don't know we are incubating a virus, but it's blatantly obvious with the pox!

It's unlikely anyone would actually develop cp in time to ruin Xmas but probably go down with it just as people go back to work. I'd be tempted to ring the soft play and ask them to 'notice' the poxy child. It's massively U to deliberately expose people who aren't given a choice.

Well, she's being totally ridiculous and YANBU. in my experience the pox is at its worst day 3 or 4, so if it's just started your DN may really not be up for it on Christmas Eve.

I am immune compromised and was exposed to chickenpox.
Even though I had already had it it made me extremely ill.
I was ill for 3 months, getting daily home visits from GP, and nurses to do tests came frequently.
The only reason I wasn't admitted to hospital was that they didn't want me to be exposed to anything else.

I know Herod that's my issue with it too. That SIL is making the choice for these parents. She is bringing other DD who has been exposed also so is probably carrying it. I did say 'won't they pass it on' and she said it only passes by touching and they won't touch anyone they don't know!!! In my experience kids touch bloody everything!

I wouldn't be able to resist calling her fucking selfish and irresponsible tbh

My sister was like that. Wouldn't tell me if my niece was ill until I turned up.

I had a right go and since then she's much more careful. Though it did cause a fall out at first

Btw it is entirely untrue that you only catch it by touching. It's airborne.

I bet if you mentioned it in passing to the staff at soft play they would turn her away.

Send her this - how cp spreads
www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2586.aspx?CategoryID=200

I've just read that CP link about the little girl - OMG! I am definitely going to set her straight on this when I see her. We're all staying at MILs for Christmas so no avoiding her. We don't have kids so not too bad for us. She will huff and get in a strop about this though! I've said to DH I'm not comfortable to go to the soft play. He is also horrified. Dread to think what MILs stance on it is. Bloody families!

Yes very selfish of your sil. Her poorly daughter probably won't enjoy it either, chicken pox is a nasty virus and they usually have a high temperature too.

I can understand her not wanting to disappoint her other daughter though, especially if the event is something they've been looking forward to. A good compromise might be for you to offer to take the well daughter so sil can stay at home with poxy child? Perhaps even bring something back for her daughter to cheer her up, a little toy, snowglobe or something?

Ah so the child won't touch other children, that's alright then

I'm IC and had similar with my DN who wanted to bring her DC to visit when they had CP, she just didn't get why I said no.