To wonder what every happened to just being shy?

[drinkingchanelno5]

I notice this everywhere now. Everyone has 'social anxiety' that seems to prevent them living a normal life. Being shy from time to time is normal and happens to everyone at some point! Seems to me that labelling yourself as 'anxious' rather than just shy is somehow reinforcing the issue, and gives you a reason to not try to overcome it because it gives it a medicalised label. They are called social 'skills' for a reason - they are skills that can be learned and need to be practised.

And yes I know some people have genuine anxiety issues, but people seem to reach for the social anxiety label automatically and it really grinds my gears! Or AIBU?

Yes, being shy is a thing.

But social anxiety is also a thing. And it is a different thing.

How awful to say 'yes some have anxiety but many are just shy' and actually saying some are 'lazy' with small talk is awful! Who on earth are you to judge what people are going through? Jesus I wish people would just get on with their own lives and stop deciding that there is an over-labelling of certain conditions! Who are you to decide that?

I grew up being told I was 'just shy' and 'introverted' and I believed it. It was only after I dropped out of college because the thought of having to speak in front of the group in one more lecture made me want to vomit. I wasn't doing well anyway because I spent the whole time looking down and trying to avoid the gaze of the lecturer and thinking 'please don't ask me, please don't ask me' that I wasn't listening.
I only have a couple of friends that I'm comfortable with and if someone else ever shows up then my stomach is immediately in knots and I shut down and just sit there nodding. But people always said that I'm just 'shy'.

You do not get to decide who is and who isn't 'just shy'.

YANBU. This anxiety thing is getting completely out of hand. Even five years ago it was fairly rare to hear people say 'I suffer from anxiety' although undoubtedly some people did.

These days you can't move for people claiming to suffer from anxiety or anxiety and depression. Also BPD. Who had even heard of that ten years ago?

And health anxiety. That's just hypochondria.

I've noticed loads more people having anxiety lately .friends , famous people . It does seem fashionable .. surely they can't all have it??

no shyness is not the same as anxiety or phobia. Feeling a bit nervous about something is not the same as feeling petrified.

My earlier statistic was wrong. On further research I found there are three million people suffering from anxiety in the UK. It is not uncommon, and it's a world away from shyness.

Thanks for coming back Chanel and saying that you now realise YAB a bit U

I didn't know what it was all about either - not until a close relative was diagnosed with it.

magicchicken who on earth are you to decide that?? There is just more awareness now. People with mental health issues are just more open which is a good thing.

And BPD has always been around it just used to be known as manic depression.

YABVVVVU. I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder by both therapists and doctors. Both of which I was literally frogmarched through the door to see because my disorder is so crippling that even the thought of leaving the house meant I had panic attacks. Stop being so dismissive of mental health.

There is a current tendency to pathologise entirely unremarkable behaviour. I am concerned about this trend in the culture at large.

Yes! Totally agree.

Do people not realise how horrible questioning people's illnesses makes them sound? Saying that people are claiming to have things because it's fashionable is being a fucking dick.

Haden Bipolar is manic depression, I meant BPD aka borderline personality disorder.

And honestly if you had close experience of narcissists you wouldn't think they were just a 'bit obnoxious'
I was abused by a narcissistic dad. I don't have a chip on my shoulder. He'd conned me too and its affected the whole of my life. People think he's utterly charming and in fact he COULD charm the birds out of the trees. I think that's how alot of abuse works though :( not that I'm an expert

Yes, because it's incredibly fashionable to feel like you're dying and can't manage a coherent sentence when you have to speak to a stranger, then go home and analyse every word that you did manage to say.

It's also fashionable to refuse all invitations out, to be scared to leave the house on your own and to worry about simple (for other people) things like the school run or going to the supermarket, just in case...

YANBU. Too much self-diagnosis these days. I don't know why the opposition to your OP. If you had a similar OP saying what happened to people being very clean / tidy - everyone these days seems to have OCD, everyone would agree with you!

and health anxiety. That's just hypochondria.

Are you a fucking doctor or something? Why do you think it's acceptable to question mental health conditions that you don't suffer from?

magic possibly you didn't hear it because ten years ago you would inevitably get a reaction just like the one you and the OP are demonstrating. Instead of talking about it they suffered in silence too ashamed to seek help. There is a huge stigma around mental illness. In my experience it takes a certain amount of bravery to be open about it knowing you will often get belittled and told that 'everyone feels a bit down sometimes you know'. I think it is a good thing that people are now able to be more open about it.

*I wonder what happened to just naughty children?

Seems like every kid has ASD these days, maybe they are just naughty.......*

pigeon, some children with ASD may be badly-behaved and some badly-behaved children may have ASD but the two are not connected per se. Are you getting confused with ADHD?

When you think you're just broken and that's that, it's a helpless feeling. But putting a name to my social issues made them smaller than me for once, and gave me the gumption I needed to really try and beat them. They still win sometimes, but I'm in a LOT more control.

i meant BPD aka Borderline personality disorder

Ok I apologise my mistake. But why are you claiming it's not a real condition when you have no idea?

More OCD is about so much more than just being fussy around the house though. Some people with horrendous OCD might live in total shit tips. It really irks me when people use the phrase OCD to convey that they like an immaculate home with very neatly folded towels and categorised CDs. It trivialises what OCD really is.

Not that all 'naughty' children have ADHD or that all children with ADHD are 'naughty, either!

drinking i tend to agree with you to a point, so many people seem to jump on the band wagon of a label these days, yes there are many people with conditions that are being diagnosed [properly] and plenty who aren't.
it seems to be the trend label of the moment to have the 'latest condition', a few years ago it was bi polar, then depression, now every other person has gender / sexual orientation related. while i understand this and feel for people who have a real condition it irritates me when people bang on about their supposed conditions, someone i know bangs on about being type 2 diabetic when i know full well she isn't, and i spent enough time with her to know what she eats. [i'm diabetic myself and bipolar], some else dramas about her lactose 'intolerance' but eats dairy on the quiet [her kids caught her eating ice cream from the tub] ! but she will sigh and roll her eyes in public ' just can't eat that dairy stuff, really upse s my stomach' . makes my teeth itch and her a laughing stock. no, not a friend but i know her dh and he moans to my dh about it