To think cards with the recipient named on the front are common?

[AddToBasket]

Class issue alert: inflammatory if you are bothered by that sort of thing

I was told that cards with 'To my wife/Grandad/Auntie' on the front were considered a bit non-U.

AIBU to go on thinking they're still a dead giveaway of background? Or are they OK?

I am going to have a sleepless night about this now.

Surely they were just a way of personalising cards before we had the moonpigs of internet to do it for us? Plenty of people were buying them 20 years ago who still aren't heavy users of the internet now and may even have passed it on as a tradition in families, so you can see why there's still a market.

Even having read wikipedia I still have no idea what non-U is. Given that it's referenced as 1950s terminology, please can OP elaborate on the 21st century equivalent especially since it's probably now going to be shortlisted for MN words of the year 2016

Before title edit this almost had me start a post asking why everythings a trigger these days...

I kind of agree. Cards for grandmothers always have some kind of thatched cottage, rambling rose scene. 'To a special Dad' generally have some kind of golf theme.

But I always buy my brother a 'to a very special brother' type card. The sort that's aimed at a 5 year old. He's 35.

I'm U as fuck.

Those kind of cards are a definite class marker for the aspirational working class or lower middle class. It is totally possible to recognise this while at the same time not giving a fuck.

We always get a personalised card from my in- laws, and I'm happy to reciprocate in kind, it is meaningful to them and I think they would be a little hurt by a card which could have been bought for anyone, whereas my parents would be a bit bemused if I sent a card with Mum or Dad printed on it. Actual class is about making the people around you feel comfortable.

Silly OP: you are not allowed to mention class on MN, even though it's the source of about 75% of AIBU threads and has its own vernacular on here, "naice" being a prime example. You must disguise class issues as legitimate 21st century concerns.

Observe:

I saw a toddler with pierced ears, still using a dummy and in a buggy even though she is easily old enough to walk. AIBU to think these are all lower class indicators and her mother is common?
No, no, no - this is all wrong.

I saw a toddler with pierced ears, still using a dummy and in a buggy even though she is easily old enough to walk. AIBU to think this is child abuse?
Correct: you have successfully disguised your distaste for these harmless parenting choices as concern for the child.

Watch and learn, OP, watch and learn.

excellent shiny, excellent

OMG, my trigger warning triggered a title change!

Huge apologies to anyone who thought I had an actual gun.

I'm with you, OP. SiL sends us all two individual cards, one from her and BIL and one from her son. So I get one to a Dear Sister-in-Law and one Dear Auntie. Dh gets Brother and Uncle and the kids get Niece/Nephew and cousin.

It gives me the RAGE. And I do think its a bit common. I am a crashing snob though tbf.

YABU the truly U couldn't care less what plebs do.

U wannabe climbers are the only people who care.

Jesus so now Christmas cards are a thing to be judged on

Well I love personalised cards so I must be common as muck which suits me just fine !!

I might be a bit of a snob. i only put Christmas cards up if I like the picture on the front. They all go in the recycling on Boxing Day.

Cards in general are a huge waste of time, money and trees.

If you're going to see your parents at Christmas why do you even need to give a card? I only send Christmas cards to people I'm not going to see

Not everybody gets to see their parents at Christmas. And some of those who could, choose not to.

Gosh...I went to the shop today.. bought my son a card with to special son on , wrote a personal message to him...He opened it loved it ( he is 9 if relevant) it is now on display... I couldn't care a less what anyone else thinks of my card or class..

Why do you care so much OP?

Ooooh thanks OP, you've reminded me that I need to buy some stamps.

I'd love if one son got 'To a Special Son' and another got 'To A Son'. That would be some great passive aggressive card giving

Mitzy - that has a lot of AIBU potential, how has it never come up?!

Just a slightly different perspective, a family member is adopted, he had no family before, he's always brought the family cards with mum,dad,nan,auntie etc on them as he loves the fact that he now has a family. He always gets cards sent to him with nephew, son, grandson on them. It sort of validates that he has a family. He's in his twenties now and it's still important to him.

I'm with you OP. Exceptions are grandparents, because even posh old people find a "Dear Granny" card from a child endearing (the upper middle classes are never, EVER called Nana).

Also, cards that are to Dear SIL or Auntie tend to be the world's naffest cards. The ones with superfluous bits of crepe paper inside, poems and pastel cottages on the front. Sometimes with glitter.

I just bought BathsLad one with "Merry Christmas, Son" on, just to put money in, I really could not give a shiny shite if it's non U.

To 'Dad and our future Step-Mum'. Seen on a shit market stall near me.

YABNU

you are being non-U

Oh what a lovely story Amber.

OP, I think the only thing you can say about this practice which is both correct and non-inflammatory is that "it is a class indicator".