To ask MIL to change what DS will call her?

[Aliveinwanderland]

My mum decided a long time ago she wanted to be referred to as Nana when DS was born, because her mum was always a Nana to us when she was alive. She sees DS most days and lives round the corner so he spends a lot of time with her. DS is her first grand child.

DH's mum has never mentioned what she wants to be called. We only see her every few months as she lives further away and DS is unlikely to spend much time with her. We don't do family gatherings with her and DH is not at all close to his family. MIL has sent a Christmas card to DS and signed it off Nana. AIBU to ask her to be called something else as my mum is already Nana? I think I probably am but I don't want DS to get confused at having two grandparents referred to as the same thing.

To make it harder DS is MIL's 4th grandchild and so I assume the others must all call her Nana which is why she is using it.

I'm sure I'm probably overthinking it so feel free to tell me if I am!

User, "Blackberry Nan" (because she grew blackberries in the garden)

and

Idontmeanto, "Nanny Wheels" (because of her wheelchair)

Adorable

I had two nanas and two grandas. When my kids were born three were still alive, so they had three nanas, two grandas, a grandma, a grandad and an extra grandma (family friend with no children so she is grandma to ours)

My Mam is Nana. Other nanas were Nana + first name. It works fine

I had 2 grandmas as a child and they were distinguished by their first names - Grandma X and Grandma Y.

My children have 3 sets of grandparents - and without speaking to each other - they managed to all choose different names so my DSs have a grandma, granny and nanny, and a grandad, grumps and pops. However if they all decided to be grandma and grandad then we would have distinguished them by their names.

Mine have Grandma and Gran-in-Australia.

You may find that your DS gives her his own name. My DS did. MIL decided what she wanted to be called - it was a bit of a mouthful for a tiny tot and he mangled it and came out with a shorter name which incidently she absolutely loves and now won't be called any other name.

So now DS2 calls her the same and has never known any thing else

My DCs had 2 Grannys based on where they lived - it didn't confuse anyone

My poor MIL was known as 'Grandpa No Beard' for ages when DS1 was little. I think she kind of misses it know he calls her Grandma.

Leave alone, they will find their own thing.

I called my grandmothers Big Nanny and Little Nanny. It was fine and quite sweet I think.

Another one with two nanas here!
Both my dm and dmil are from oop north so wanted to be nana. It's nice! There is something really 'old' about Grandma. And the two nanas are only in their 60s and very young still.

YABU. Nana X and Nana Y when there is a need for distinction, otherwise they can both just be Nanas.

I think most people just say Nana Janet and Nana Pat or whatever. It's usual with grandad's - Grandad John, etc.

My Mum came up with a stupid name for herself when my sister and I had children. I won't write it here in case I get recognised, but it sounds similar to Mum. I think she didn't want to admit to herself that she was a Grandma! (she's quite young to be a granny). Anyway, I tried to change it and get the kids to all her something else, but it stuck.

Your children may come up with their own version anyway.

We have granny London and granny ireland lol

I had two grans. We called them Agnes Gran and Betty Gran*. I have no idea why the first name came before the gran.

• may not have been their real names.

I think it's really up to the person being called it to decide. We have two grandads and it's fine.

I had two Nanas. I really wouldn't want to fall out with your MIL over something so minor, particularly as you say you don't see her often.

Funny, I would have thought that ultimately it is up to the kids what they use. But maybe as that is because I don't have any personal preferences and like the silly names the kids give me - "Muzzaah" in a "gangster" voice or "Mater" in a posh voice :)

Then, as the parents are the ones who introduce the names into their family, wouldn't they come next, each using the names that are traditionally used in their parental family? Though obviously if a GP turned up their nose at the usual family name then avoiding that.

Just seems a bit formal for the GM to come in and say "From henceforth I shall be known as Fat Nanna" or whatever she has chosen :)

Your mum: Nice Nana
Your MIL: Nutty Nana

Problem solved :)

My daughter is a year and hasn't met my MIL yet as she's not in UK. MIL keeps changing her mind about what she wants to be called. I now refer to her as Nanny Granny Teta (arabic) forename. My mum is Nanny, but I don't mind if they both are. I had two nannies and would call them Nanny surname even when I spoke to them. It's better to allow MIL to choose unless she keeps changing it.

DM changed what I called my paternal GM when I was a child as maternal GM was already known as 'Grandma' and there was only room for one. So of all of the cousins on my dad's side of the family, DSis and I are the only ones that call DGM 'Nanny' while the rest all call her Grandma! 6YO me felt very left out

I think that's a bit mean on mil - my beloved mum is nana Liz and mil (whom we hardly see) is nana Bertie. Telling ur mil she can't be called nana is petty and will let her know she isn't as important as ur mum

My sons refer to their dads mom as makka pakka after the episode where he/she cleaned the stones its something their nan would do she gets called nan to her face though we have tried to stop it but it slips out occasionally

We had Grandma and Grandma'sGrandad, and Gran and Gran'sGrandad. Worked fine for us!

At one stage, our DD had:
Nanna (my DM)
Granny (DH's DM)
Mammam (my GM)
Granny X (my other GM, X is her surname)

Grandad A (DH's DF - A usually being his surname, occasionally the village they live in)
Grandad B (my DF - B being the village they live in)
Grandad C (my GF - same surname as B but called by his surname mostly, sometimes referred to as Grandad "house name")

She was 5 before my GPs started to die off (all 3 within 3 years) and DFIL died last year, but she has never had a problem telling them all apart, just added an identifier to their names.

How will they cope otherwise with things like 3 Johns in their class in the future, or 2 Mary's on the street?

I had two grannies.

Granny X was often referred to as Granny Granny by me! Which she loved!