To ask MIL to change what DS will call her?

[Aliveinwanderland]

My mum decided a long time ago she wanted to be referred to as Nana when DS was born, because her mum was always a Nana to us when she was alive. She sees DS most days and lives round the corner so he spends a lot of time with her. DS is her first grand child.

DH's mum has never mentioned what she wants to be called. We only see her every few months as she lives further away and DS is unlikely to spend much time with her. We don't do family gatherings with her and DH is not at all close to his family. MIL has sent a Christmas card to DS and signed it off Nana. AIBU to ask her to be called something else as my mum is already Nana? I think I probably am but I don't want DS to get confused at having two grandparents referred to as the same thing.

To make it harder DS is MIL's 4th grandchild and so I assume the others must all call her Nana which is why she is using it.

I'm sure I'm probably overthinking it so feel free to tell me if I am!

My two have two nanas. My in laws they call "nanagrandad" combining mil & fil. My mum they call " just nana " or as my DS calls her sometimes "nana knitter" as she makes jumpers for him. When they are actually with them individually they get nana. As others have suggested leave it as 2 nanas & you child will come up with their own versions

If you don't see them then it's a complete non-issue, surely?

DS is very unlikely to spend time with his cousins. His family don't do that sort of thing. Sad, but that is just how they are. I have tried to arrange things and get them joined together, but it isn't really my place to do so and they seem happy enough going about their own lives rarely interacting with each other.

Luckily on my side he has 6 second cousins and 6 great aunties and uncles we see regularly so he won't miss out on family time.

Just be glad she is consistent - my MIL requested a certain name when we had DS (he was 1st) and has since had our niece and nephews who have come along after call her something else!

Drives me mad! She was pretty adamant to us that she hated 'Grandma' - guess what they all call her...

I discovered when DS1 was born that Grandparents have some quite definite ideas about what they want to be called by their Grandchildren; I hadn't even realised it was a choice til then.

Two Nanas sounds lovely and if you rarely see her there'll be no confusion.

We have granny - which is what I did when growing up with 2 nannies.

And we DO all hang out! Now the kids are a bit older I think they are starting to get a bit

We have 'nana cats' and 'nana ice cream'

That's the only way we can tell them apart

My dc have 2 nannies.they used to call one of them nanny from london.even though she no longer lives in London,she is still nanny from london.

OP - I'm afraid grandparents get to choose what they are called. Only polite. I'd be pretty annoyed if my grandchildren were calling me something I hated.

I also had 2 Grandmas, who we called Grandma M and Grandma E.

Two Nanas is fine.

In saying that I met FIL for the first time when DD was 6 months old. He tried to claim "grandad" as his name and I refused as my dad was Grandad. He could be called Gandpa. He didn't like it....I gave zero fucks. Probably another reason we are completely No Contact. He is an arsehole who called my 6 month old baby a slut.

Two Nanas is fine. :)

Both my DDad and FIL have the same forename so they have always been described as grandad DM/MIL forename (just grandad when with them)

DS has got 3 nanas - my mum, MIL & FIL's wife.

I had this with mine. My dad's mum was always Grandma and my mum's mum was Nanna.

so when my first child was born I automatically assumed it would be the same for my children. My mum became Nanna and I told DH's mum she would be Grandma.

Except that all DH's mum's other DGCs called her Nanna and she wanted to be Nanna. I explained my reasoning and she very graciously accepted it without argument but years later it's been quite awkward at times, when all the kids are together and some are calling her Nanna and others Grandma. Even my own DC sometimes get confused and call her Nanna anyway, because all their older cousins do.

I wish I'd not put my foot down now. Her reasons were sound and I should have respected them. When it's my turn I'd like to be able to choose what my DGCs call me. After all, as the mother of only boys and no DDs I probably won't get much of a look-in on anything else, so I like to hope I'd at least get a say in that.

I had two grandmas, grandma bessie and grandma and all my grandads were just grandad -there name etc.
I think people should be allowed to decide what they are called, your mum wants to be nana because her mum was nana and your MIL will have her reasons why she wants to be nana.
Imagine when its your turn to be nana would you like to be told that they would prefer it you were something else?

My DC's have 2 nanas, they are nana to their face and nana first name to differentiate when talking about them.

They also have 2 grandads although to tell them apart they call them them grandad daddy's dad and grandad on a desert island (he lives in Ireland) They came up with the names by themselves

It's up to Nana what she's called. I had 2 grannys. We distinguished them by their surnames.

Keep the Grandma card, just write inside To Nanna X with love and Christmas hugs from BabyOP.

We had similar, it did lead to my then 1 yr old peering hopefully out the door for his other "nana" when the one who rarely visits came. And I did feel the same way as you, but was more irritated by my mum rather than MIL who we never see.
I do know of one family who's dcs referred to their nanas as nana with the papa and nana with the budgie your child will work it out in his own way.

My DCs have two Grandads who share the same first name, so they are referred to as Grandad Surname. I had two Grandmas growing up, they were referred to as Grandma Town-name or Grandma Surname. No confusion.

My nephew had Nanny Wheels (the one in a wheelchair) and Nanny surname. Your son will come up with something wonderful!

Mine added the village onto Great granny.the other two got Ma and Ma surname. Could you add the place she lives to nanny to distinguish ?

My DS calls FIL 'Old Granddad' (he is in his 90s) and my Father 'New Grandad' (In his late 60s).

Like others I used to have two Nanas. It was fine.

My mam always insisted she would be Nana but grandma just stuck. Ironically hubby's mam was already a grandma to lots of grandchildren but Nana just kind of naturally happened. She's significantly older than my mam too and I think grandma is the 'older' name but it just naturally happened. I think you're over thinking it.

Honestly find it really odd people wanting to dictate what grandparents are referred to as?

So long as the grandparents aren't suggesting anything offensive or off-the-wall, I really can't see why a parent would feel the need to assert themselves on that? Very precious IMO.