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AIBU?

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Original poster

Chicken Pox - Quick advice

29 replies

Chocoholicmonster · 18/12/2016 13:55

Posting here for traffic (sorry) & more of a WWYD.

I've got a 9 week old baby. Friend has said she will come over this afternoon with her 5 year old who has chicken pox. He got them a week or so ago. She said he's past the contagious stage - by this I'm guessing she means scabbed over as he's still spotty. I'd rather my baby not be around them at all but don't want to seem like the over dramatic, over protective mother if it is indeed safe... What would you do?

OP posts:
TheDisreputableDog · 18/12/2016 14:00

Tell her you're sorry but you'd rather not take the risk of exposing your newborn.

Waffles80 · 18/12/2016 14:06

Agree with PP. "So sorry, but just don't want to take the risk with such a tiny baby."

Original poster
Chocoholicmonster · 18/12/2016 14:08

Thank you. Was expecting replies telling me not to wrap baby up in cotton wool but glad I'm not being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Lovewineandchocs · 18/12/2016 14:10

Yes tell her you don't want to take the risk. Even past the contagious stage my DD developed conjunctivitis after chicken pox and apparently that's quite common. Highly infectious too so I wouldn't risk it with your baby.

crazywriter · 18/12/2016 14:11

9wo? I'd tell her not to bring him round. He'll have only had his first set of jabs. While you can't stop all infections you can at least minimise the risk. You're not wrapping him up in cottonwool and not BU to not want this kiddo round. It is unusual for babies so youno to get chicken pox but my 3mo caught it from her big sister so not impossible.

Jedimum1 · 18/12/2016 14:14

My DD just got it. NHS said she wasn't contagious when all the spots have scabbed over. It also take 2-3 weeks to incubate. I'm not sure, to be honest, I haven't kept mine away from the youngest, although he's just over a year old, because the sooner they get it, the easier and better. But that's your call.

I think the guest might not be contagious, but you can surely be overprotective of a two month old.

Crunchymum · 18/12/2016 14:16

Tell her you'll rearrange!!

Not everyone has a "normal" presentation of CP. My DC2 got them pretty mildly and then 3 weeks later got a proper dose. So she was probably contagious for well over a month?

EatsShitAndLeaves · 18/12/2016 14:16

I wouldn't even contemplate it with a 9 week old.

smEGGnogg · 18/12/2016 14:18

At 9 weeks, no I wouldn't. One of mine had it at 5 months and it was hell.

KatherinaMinola · 18/12/2016 14:19

I think you'd be crazy to take the risk! Absolutely not unreasonable to tell her no.

Wookiecookies · 18/12/2016 14:30

Under 3 months is very dangerous for exposure to chicken pox, as your little one has not developed a full immune system yet. You need to say a big fat polite fuck off to your friend OP.

Osirus · 18/12/2016 14:41

No way! My baby's cousin has had it recently and she won't be visiting until after Christmas. A bit OTT to some perhaps, but another relation of mine ended up in a wheelchair because of complications from chicken pox. My DD will be vaccinated.

GreenTureen · 18/12/2016 14:56

No way. They may all look scabbed over but it's really hard to be sure - there could well be a couple of unscabbed over pox lurking somewhere which means he's still infectious.

Tell her you can't risk it, just in case. Even if it was an older child i'd still refuse, no one wants their dc coming down with the pox bang on Christmas!

VintagePerfumista · 18/12/2016 14:58

Absolutely not.

Your friend is an arse for even suggesting it.

I presume she's out and about Christmas shopping and not giving a shit which immuno-suppressed, elderly and young children her kid is infecting.

Totally irresponsible.

Patchouli666 · 18/12/2016 15:04

Your baby is too young to be purposefully exposed to an infection. Defo not being overprotective to say no. Can't believe your friend would take the risk!

HeCantBeSerious · 18/12/2016 15:06

because the sooner they get it, the easier and better. But that's your call.

It can be extremely dangerous for babies of less than 3 months, and babies under a year may not develop proper immunity and have another dose later down the line.

Iamthecatsmother · 18/12/2016 15:07

No, absolutely not. You don't need to expose your baby to this.

Anatidae · 18/12/2016 15:10

Yanbu. We just spent a week quarantined with what we thought was chickenpox (it wasn't in the end) because we didn't want to infect anyone. Yes it's inconvenient (I have zero Xmas shopping done...) argh... but she should not be visiting such a YOUNG baby with a kid with CP. it's almost impossible to say they aren't infectious at a specific point.

crazywriter · 19/12/2016 01:19

HeCantBeSerious is right about the immunity. While mine has had the chicken pox she will have to have the chicken pox vaccine at 15.months (not.in the uk) because she may not have developed a full immunity to it and could have it again. While she didn't have it that bad at 3 months, I wouldn't wish it on anyone and wouldn't want her to get it again.

Oh and when my girls had it I was supposed to be meeting a friend for coffee. It turned out the friend was pregnant so I just kept her updated and said it was probably best to leave it until I knew DD2 was out of the woods. Another friend told me to take the girls to her when DD2 had it because her girls have already had it and she saw I needed a break after 3 weeks of being cooped up in the house with a very energetic 4yof. Very thankful for that but would have never ever insisted even with someone who had already had all 3 DDs previously poxy.

Annie592 · 19/12/2016 01:36

YADNBU!! I don't think you can really be over protective when they're that age. Just not worth the risk.

Italiangreyhound · 19/12/2016 01:56

Hope you told her to re-arrange. No way would I risk it.

My son was vaccinated against chicken pox, I paid for it, chicken pox can be really dangerous for some.

LucyBabs · 19/12/2016 02:01

It's really not better to "get it out of the way"
My ds had CP when he was 12 weeks old, my older dd had it first.
Ds was so unwell it was awful. Please don't ever underestimate CP

sdaisy26 · 19/12/2016 07:14

Chances are she's probably not infectious any more but I wouldn't want to risk it with a 9 wo either. Ds had cp at 11 weeks old (caught it from his big sister) and was very, very poorly - hospitalised for several nights. He still has health complications from it now (he's 2.5). The trouble is most people just see it as a very minor illness, but of course that's not the case for everyone.

anotherBadAvatar · 19/12/2016 07:43

No way.

Avoidable

Why risk it?

Just say you'll see her another time

catwoman0815 · 19/12/2016 07:56

DC1 had it when DC2 was a few weeks old.

GP told us that DC2 will have some immunity against it for the first few months and DC2 was fine.

But I still wouldn't probably risk it if you can avoid contact and ask them to come another time.