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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think spending Christmas apart is a bit weird....

110 replies

00100001 · 17/12/2016 19:47

... Nothing to do with me, I know

But I'm judgey Grin

I have two friends - they are late 20s and have been together about 4 years.

They have spent every Christmas apart, because neither of them want to be away from their family on the day. So they go their separate ways on about the 23rd and see each other again on the 26th/27th.

Like I say, SFA to do with me, but I find it curious.

AIBU to think they're... odd?

OP posts:
coldcanary · 17/12/2016 19:50

Maybe but there have been years when I'd cheerfully do the same thing and I've been living with the bugger for 17 years!! Grin (and I'm sure he'd say the same about me)

CaptainHammer · 17/12/2016 19:50

If it works for them then great.
Might be a bit more difficult if they want children in the future though!

ChipIn · 17/12/2016 19:51

No weird. DH and I did the same until DD came along. Maybe slightly different as we live overseas so don't have many Christmases at home anyway.

AllTheLightWeCannotSee · 17/12/2016 19:52

I think it's quite common for younger couples to do that. Children change things!

FizzBombBathTime · 17/12/2016 19:53

I couldn't do it..!

Each to their own I guess

oddballs

Wink
TheNaze73 · 17/12/2016 19:54

What seems odd to some, seems perfectly normal to others.

Wouldn't bother me

ShowMePotatoSalad · 17/12/2016 19:54

Aww, I think that's really cute!

BowiesJumper · 17/12/2016 19:55

We dos this for years (13 to be exact). Only spent it together when we got married. I wanted to spend it with my family, as did he, and he worked Christmas Eve and Boxing Day so would have been a real faff travel wise.

DarkestBeforeDawn · 17/12/2016 19:57

I don't find it weird. DP and I have been together for 12 years and until we started having DC four years ago, we spent every Christmas apart. DP from another country and so didn't see his family often and I absolutely love Christmas with my family so we were happy with the set up. Now that we have DC4 we spend it together with my family as we can't afford the flights for 6 people.

Thurlow · 17/12/2016 19:58

We did this for a good 10 years until DD came along. We didn't live that near our families and knew we'd have all the crap of juggling once kids came along so we couldn't be bothered to do it then as well.

I will happily admit we're hardly the most romantic or sentimental couple though.

Violetcharlotte · 17/12/2016 19:59

No. if it works for them then that's fine. Actually quite sensible I think.

Lelloteddy · 17/12/2016 20:08

I wouldn't judge. Both of them may be under extreme pressure from respective parents to be 'home' for Christmas.

Fruitcocktail6 · 17/12/2016 20:16

It's what we're going to do but we have no DC. We'll do our own presents together in the morning and have breakfast then I'll go to my parents and he'll go to his. I love my parents at Christmas time, plus my niece and nephew will be there and it's their first Christmas. I have no desire to go to DPs parents and sit in their cramped kitchen full of fag smoke.

AndNowItsSeven · 17/12/2016 20:19

Yes it's very odd. Time to grow up and cut the apron strings.

HaveNoSocks · 17/12/2016 20:26

I know a married couple in their 30s who own their own home and still both go back to their separate parents' for christmas dinner. I think they just can't be bothered to sort out alternate years and co-ordinate with extended family etc. They just have a nice christmas meal together at some other time.

ALittleMop · 17/12/2016 20:28

I think its quite mature and unselfish of them.

And probably saves a load of grief in one form or the other.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 17/12/2016 20:34

All the couples I know that did this ended up splitting up or divorcing.

ThePinkOcelot · 17/12/2016 20:35

When we first moved in together we did this. Not for a few days though, just Xmas dinner. Then we would come home at tea time and snuggle up watching telly and nibbles. I loved it. So, not weird to me.

lastqueenofscotland · 17/12/2016 20:35

Me and DP do this. Works for us! We are in 20s with no DC though

hazelnutlatte · 17/12/2016 20:36

My bil and his girlfriend have been together 15 years and have yet to spend a Christmas together. I'm really not sure why as neither family put pressure on them and her family don't even really celebrate Christmas.

Autumnchill · 17/12/2016 20:37

My friends niece does this as MIL has made it clear that she is not good enough for her Son and refuses to talk to her so she goes home to her Mum and has a much better time!

Bobtheblob · 17/12/2016 20:38

I know of a couple in their late thirties who do this and have done as long as they have been together! Met at uni and have libedtogether since, so coming up to 20 years. Never married, no dc and perfectly happy together. They just happen to both live a long way in opposite directions from their families and doing it this was makes them all happy.

BraveDancing · 17/12/2016 20:39

My father and stepmother do this. She circles round her kids and grandkids and he does the same. They seem happy enough.

SantasJockstrap · 17/12/2016 20:39

Its rather sad that a couple do not get to spend time together at xmas as they are pulled in different directions by families

Pringlesandwine · 17/12/2016 20:41

I used to do this. Then I had children and we still did it. DH had no interest in my family. Children came with me.
We're now divorced 😁

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