To ask a very personal question about vaginas after birth?

[PuppyCottonLane]

I've had 2 kids and before I had kids I hated the way my vagina in general looked. My labia always hung slightly lower than the outer lips if you see what I mean and gave a rather "man in a boat" appearance

When I had my daughter I had an episiotomy and required a lot of stitching for second degree tears. After the birth I noticed everything was a lot tighter.

When I had my DS he tore open the episiotomy scar and all the scar tissue from the tears and again I had to be sewn up. Some friends said that your vagina in general never looks the same after birth.

My husband commented to me yesterday that childbirth has changed the look of my nether regions. On enquiring what he meant he said that my labia no longer hangs down past my lips (he's right) and my outer lips are a lot tighter and not as loose.

Is this a common thing if you've had an episiotomy/required a lot of stitching? I'm just curious as to why the appearance had changed quite dramatically (to the point of where I'm no longer embarrassed) in the space of 3 years? Odd thread but can't imagine broaching this subject with the other mums at the school gates

pasanda

I'm sure some do. I mean, I don't think they have a lower than average porn viewing ration... or do they?

Hm... maybe people in my profession have a higher than average?
I personally think porn is a waste of time. But idk. That's just a personal opinion,

I hated my inner labia when I was younger, kept trying to tuck them in so they were out of the way and was horribly self conscious in swimwear. But anyway.

I had an episiotomy and fourth degree tear. I can feel a ridge of scar tissue and am fairly certain my anus is slightly misaligned. Frankly my undercarriage feels like a total train wreck, but dh claims it looks no different fibber and that the surgeon did a beautiful repair job. Actually the latter part is true, everyone who saw my fanny post birth (way more than I would have expected!) said 'oh what a good job with the stitches'. The surgeon himself preened somewhat and described it as some of his best ever work; I was grateful

Bollocks do tears heal better than cuts - an episiotomy is recommended for any birth which matches the following:

The baby appears to be in foetal distress (this means the baby has a significantly increased or decreased heart rate, and there is a real risk to the baby’s life or well-being if he or she is not born quickly).
There is a clinical need for an instrumental birth, which means the use of forceps or ventouse.
Breech birth, which means the baby is not being born head first.
You’re having a very long labour and are exhausted.
You have a large baby.
You have a serious health condition and you need a speedy labour and birth to keep you safe.

Yes, I've had 3 dc, first was over 9lbs and required and epi.

I have no hymen left, the frilly circle is gone and there is just a hole.

I feel really horribly self conscious and would happily never have sex again, even though DH has never complained.

Every time I go for a smear test I get a nasty comment (are you aware you have a swelling?) Asked if I minded a student midwife feeling my cervix, mw turned to her and said 'Just ignore the scarring.'

So, yes I think everything looked halfway normal before and now I am the gynae equivalent of Frankenstein's monster!
Glad you are happier with how your parts are now op, I hope if you've always been self conscious you feel more confident now.

ateapot - "Poor little vulva" would make an ace user name.

I've had 3 babies, all rather fast, two 2nd degree tears and two were born with their hands on their faces - just to make their heads that little bit bigger .

I'm sure my vag is a bit butchered and my pelvic floor is fucked but it seems to do what it's meant to do........

i had an episiotomy and they stitched me up pretty tight, i assume there's maybe something about the way it heals that means it works out like this? i dunno. but the scar tissue is still not right from it nearly 5years on.
i had a tear and stitches with ds2 and i think i felt the same after this, in a way that i definitely did not after the episiotomy.
dh says it's the same/beautiful/wonderful/magical/anything that might get him laid!! so he's not a reliable source of information!

Mine was ugly before. Stage 2 year and ventous birth and it's only ever so slightly uglier

But in all seriousness, it does its job and I've no complications/problems from birth, so I don't pay it much mind.

That's it everyone. Share your intimate pussy stories.

I used to think I was a freak because my inner labia is practically non existent. Mine looks like a slit.

It's taken me a long time to accept what it looks like.

Why shouldn't we if we're happy to? It's not actually any different to sharing stories about our gallbladder removal.

WOMEN HAVE FANNIES AND CHILDBIRTH SOMETIMES CHANGES THEM SHOCKER

With mine, DH says he doesn't feel any different but I can't feel him at all I'm not sure what I should do?

Mine was never a thing of beauty to be honest, and it still isn't. I had an episiotomy and a tear and it healed sort of 'lumpily'. Ah well, it's not as if I have it 'on show'.

The doctor who stitched me up after my birth told me he was giving me a "designer vagina" and women pay £1000s for what I got for free, apparently that means extremely bad scar tissue at the rear, a damaged urinart tract and one labia is now 2 as the stitching came out then started healing before I realised so I'm permananrlt left with 2 flappy bits on one side that I'd have to pay privately to fix as its considered cosmetic despite the fact they caused it and 5 years later sex is still painful

Yes 1horatio. I'm sure some mw do watch some porn.

That's why I said 'most' midwives and 'lots of' porn. But nit pick if you want to...

I know exactly what you mean and the same happened to me. Was totally hung up on it when younger.

Luckily my hideous belly eclipses my stuff, and I'm not in th habit of laying on my back with a mirror. Plus my babies didn't come out that way. The piles are the same as a vb tho >

Mine was pretty much destroyed (1st and only baby and an episiotomy that hasn't healed.) Finally after 6+ years I've been referred for surgery.

Jungle, try weights, like these:

www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=12689

My aesthetician says that most women look the same in that area, and have what she describes as either an "innie" or an "outie."

gardencentegroupie The prudery or lack there of is not the issue so much as how happy any of the posters on this thread will be to feature on the Daily Mail tomorrow.

However, how very extraordinary of the poster above to think it is strange for a woman to be familiar with her own body! Can can you know know or even care about your own external body parts?

You always get people on threads like this expressing disgust that women know what their own genitals look like.

Ventouse delivery, 4th degree tear, immediate surgery (obviously) a further 3ops to try and repair botched first attempt, nine years later, bladder and bowel prolapse, perenium is but a thin sliver of scar tissue ,surgery to fix,surgery fails, referred again, bladder prolapse, perenium disappeared again, consultant (s) unsure if there's enough muscle to repair it, waiting for colonoscopy, scan around sphincter, electrical stimulation to build muscle and if there isn't enough muscle then I WILL be shitting in a bag.

So forgive me if I don't give a shiny shite about how it all looks, I just wish it worked

I jest btw about "thread winning" the news is still raw and I don't begrudge anyone have a whine about men in boats

Mine is not what it was during its heyday . DC2 who was 9.5lb really didn't do it any favours - none

I weep for your vagina shakey- that's a fucking car crash of A birth

It just me who reads these threads and immediately start doing me pelvic floor exercises ?

I'm literally doing them right now stop