To ask a very personal question about vaginas after birth?

[PuppyCottonLane]

I've had 2 kids and before I had kids I hated the way my vagina in general looked. My labia always hung slightly lower than the outer lips if you see what I mean and gave a rather "man in a boat" appearance

When I had my daughter I had an episiotomy and required a lot of stitching for second degree tears. After the birth I noticed everything was a lot tighter.

When I had my DS he tore open the episiotomy scar and all the scar tissue from the tears and again I had to be sewn up. Some friends said that your vagina in general never looks the same after birth.

My husband commented to me yesterday that childbirth has changed the look of my nether regions. On enquiring what he meant he said that my labia no longer hangs down past my lips (he's right) and my outer lips are a lot tighter and not as loose.

Is this a common thing if you've had an episiotomy/required a lot of stitching? I'm just curious as to why the appearance had changed quite dramatically (to the point of where I'm no longer embarrassed) in the space of 3 years? Odd thread but can't imagine broaching this subject with the other mums at the school gates

matilda I don't spend time discussing and inspecting my bits - I never liked the appearance growing up and it was only when my husband mentioned it yesterday that I cared to look and realised that he's right

My labia are unchanged. My vagina is much more elastic. I have no idea what any of it looks like now, it's been years since I looked!

Wait for your piles to get going.
You will be happy for any distraction when there is a gremlin peeping from your arse hole.

Benedikte2 I had an episiotomy and a 2nd degree tear so episiotomies don't always prevent tearing anyway...

As for OPs original question... Mine looks different. Not better, or worse, just different. I've never thought of it as particularly attractive but then I've never thought of any genitalia as particularly attractive 😂

Define 'absolutely needed FayKorgasm.

Often the trigger for episiotomy is type II heart rate dips. These can easily occur when mom is laid on her back and the baby's weight crushes the blood flow from the providing arteries to the uterus. Baby is oxygen starved with every contraction - but type I dips are normal. Type II means it's getting serious - hence episiotomies, ventouse, forceps etc.

Absolutely needed? No. Needed because of laying women on their backs and distressing baby's heart, yeah, sometimes this.

So.... my right labia minora has always been a bit longer and fleshier than my left.

It doesn't peek but if I spread my legs there is a visibly difference.

I don't think birth has really changed that?

But as long as you like your vagina everything is great, right?

It's slightly depressing that someone who has had 2 babies apparently doesn't know the difference between her vulva and her vagina.

Polly You're opening a can of worms with that one!

I've given up now...

Same here Sky.

I had episiotomy and then quite the tear - after 2 haemorrhoidectomies on the second one I had an anal ultrasound, sphincter was compromised - any further damage to it would cause severe damage and could see me pooping into a bag...

As Jenny Eclair once said "labia like spaniels ears darling!!" !!!

Btw, as a bisexual woman (I've seen my share of vaginas), I feel the need to tell you that what you describe sounds extremely normal.

Sure, it may not look like in porn (btw, these vaginas look often super creepy to me anyway 👀) but vaginas do not need to look porny. Unless you make sure you're vagina is always waxed, bleached and some even get plastic surgery...

So, I'm not saying you have to love your genitals. Just... be happy with them and all the joy (children and orgasms) they make possible 😉

Pollyanna, why don't you save your indignation for some other time?

OP is worried, she doesn't need a lecture now.

Yes mine looks different. It probably looks a bit worse but I don't really care. I haven't looked in ages and I don't give it any thought.

What my genitalia look like is bottom of my priorities.

I mean, just be happy that you have a vagina, inner and outer labia, clitoris etc.

It sounds like your bits are doing and behaving exactly they way you wish them to. Like... what else can you ask of them?

Jesus Coffeerun - I was skim reading and thought you wrote. "What my genitalia look like is bottom of my profile" 😂

Is there a chance that due to the fashion for porn, midwives might end up with a skewed viewpoint of what vaginas should look like and could end up stitching you to look how you 'should' look?

I would never have thought that, but a woman on another thread went for a gynae exam. Pubic hair all there no self removal. Trainee (female) doc was there, lead doc asked her to read out the notes she's made on the patient, quick recap of history then 'patient appears dishevelled with poor hygiene' when challenged it turned out she's noted that purely because the lady had pubic hair and she thought clean women removed their hair.

If we have people like that coming up through the medical professions are we at risk of shit like 'the husband stitch' coming back in under the guise of wanting to look 'clean and tidy'?! Probably not. Just a worry of mine...

I had a tear but haven't noticed a difference- unless you have a Brazilian you can't see easily!

Also really confused about man in a boat comment!

Mine was butchered, I'm genuinely sad about it. But there's worse things and my DS is ace so it's ok. No sense carrying around vagina related sadness!
I just wish I'd known before how awful it would be! Poor little vulva.

I've never met a woman who cares, OP. Maybe many do, but I'm still confused as to why. Also you say you were dissatisfied 'growing up'. That's even mor confusing - why would a child be critiquing her vulva?

Batteries I've seen a junior doc receive a telling off from a senior for saying something like that: any decent obs/gynae/midwife knows pubic hair is normal!

Batteries - I am a mw and the suggestion you just made is so far removed from reality it's laughable!

When we suture, we try to put it all back together the way it was before. One of the first things you do is realign the hymen - it looks like a 'frilly' circle and once that is aligned properly, everything else kind of falls into place.

I'm sure most midwives don't watch lots of porn

I'm not really fussed so never taken much notice - I suppose when DH is ever in the area he's not really looking at the scenery ..... I can never understand why woman have them surgically enhanced really

Hi OP I can totally relate. I have had two children, first required episiotomy and no visible difference afterwards. Second required stitching after tearing. All my life I have hated the fact that my labia minora was so visible when standing up. So much so that I often visited cosmetic surgery sites for research. Now, for whatever reason, labia is barely visible. A very happy side effect, and like you not even sure how it happened.

cardibach I think you lead a sheltered life if you think that most teenagers haven't had a look at their vulva

Scar tissue on scar tissue is going to change things - probably tighten up skin, or pad it out a bit or whatever - it's going to look a bit different - dramatic change in case though.

I had EMCSes, and the bottom of my stomach was put back as it was after my first CS pretty much, but after the second.. well.. lets just say the sewing was a lot more slapdash and it's all a little wonkier than it was - anything cut/torn and patched up isn't going to be quite as it was before.