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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how often you do 'it' if married with kids?

124 replies

Ibloodyhatethomasthetankengine · 15/12/2016 19:27

Just that.

DH and I are pretty lazy in this respect nowadays. Just wondered what other people's 'normal' is?

OP posts:
Fishcakey · 16/12/2016 17:25

The aim is for once a week but work is getting in the way at the moment. Being in the same house at the same time is an issue. I much prefer daytime shagging but nosy 11 year old puts paid to that.

SpookyPotato · 16/12/2016 19:03

creative Not a problem if you're both happy with that Grin I wish I had your energy!

AnythingGoesWithMe · 16/12/2016 19:59

Just to balance out all the shaggers...
Twice this year but I was pregnant.
4/5 times last year and previously not for 2 years before that.
I miss it Sad

FizzySweeties · 16/12/2016 20:03

1-2 times per week, we have 3 DCs, eldest is nearly 8. Hasn't ever really varied, even when pg or new babies (usually start DTD again about 3 weeks after birth). Happy with that, doesn't seem too much or too little for either of us.

steff13 · 16/12/2016 20:05

Three kids, 2-3 times a week. Youngest is 6.

Bauble16 · 16/12/2016 20:07

Married with 2DC under 8 and a 3rd on the way. 1 or 2 times a week, sometimes 3 times if we are on a roll!

MrsPeel1 · 16/12/2016 20:11

misty we're pretty much like you since kids (non sleeping, early rising 2 & 4 you). It never was every day but it's dropped off. You'd never know, we are both of the filthy sense of humour persuasion, there's a fair bit of groping just not much dtd. And we're both pretty much ok with that.

Isadora2007 · 16/12/2016 20:15

Married for 9 years. Four children (older two not his bio) 19, 16, 7 and 4.
We are mostly 2 times and sometimes 3.
I'm not sure how mutual fumbling is any less effort than a quickie though...

RainbowBriteRules · 16/12/2016 20:15

Am in awe of those doing it more than once a day!! If you are groping rather than shagging, is that a daytime thing? I think we should gripe each other a bit more but don't know how to get to that point Xmas Blush

BeetlebumShesAGun · 16/12/2016 20:27

Once a month, if that. Sad

I wish it was more often but I just can't summon up the energy any more. 2 DD's one 3yo who is only just sleeping through the night and one 8mo who still wakes twice a night for milk.

PurpleTraitor · 16/12/2016 20:40

Thinking about it we seem to have am infrequent pattern for a couple of weeks then a frequent pattern for a couple of weeks. I have monthly cycles at work though as well as, well, monthly cycles, so that might be why!

In our infrequent weeks, twice a week or so. In our frequent weeks, most days, occasionally more than once a day. So we'd probably average 3-4 times a week when I'm not working away. Two kids - one is older and stays up later than I would like and one is younger and doesn't sleep through/gets up early so we have to be - creative

Lookinatu · 16/12/2016 20:44

3 times a week minimum

MrsBlennerhassett · 16/12/2016 20:46

about twice a week, sometimes once if weve been busy..... it used to be every day before our son was born but now we are both just exauhsted. I think its okay tho because we are both as tired as each other. I dont think either of us could manage to have sex any more than we are doing at the moment so we dont really have an issue with it even tho it is less than it used to be.

RocketPockets · 16/12/2016 20:55

Once a week on average. We have a 6mo and dh works shifts. When we had sex for the first time since ds was born we then had sex twice a day for a week as it happened to be the same week he started sleeping through Grin
Back to being knackered 80% of the time again but if I had my way I'd jump dh bones every opportunity I got Grin

Twodogsandahooch · 16/12/2016 20:57

Bloody hell I was hoping that this was going to be a thread I could show DP to prove that he wasn't hard done by. But I was wrong!

1-2 per week here. Enough for me. Not enough for him.

Original poster
Ibloodyhatethomasthetankengine · 16/12/2016 21:18

Wow.... So, basically, lots of you are doing it more times in a week than we're presently doing it in a year...... I had no idea we were so out of the ordinary!

OP posts:
amigoingabitcrazy · 16/12/2016 21:19

3yo and 5mo but not married. 2-3 times a week. Dp works until 1 or 2 am though so has to wake me up for it!

dollybird · 16/12/2016 21:49

13 and 14 year old DC. Been married almost 17 years. Once a week almost always on Saturday (we have dinner and drinks without the DC). Very occasionally twice. Tbh I could go without mostly, but DH would complain if it was less often than it is

40somethingwonderful · 16/12/2016 21:57

Together almost 20 years with two Kids. Probably once a month (if that) neither have a high sex drive.

PlayOnWurtz · 16/12/2016 22:10

Very very rarely. So rarely I want a divorce because I can't live in a sexless marriage

Puppymouse · 16/12/2016 22:18

Blimey these threads are always so depressing to read. Sad

Crunchymum · 16/12/2016 22:26

Now I know I can participate...

A few times a month (basically every other weekend)

We have a co sleeping toddler who still breast feeds and my libido hasn't recovered.

LBOCS2 · 16/12/2016 22:27

We have just made an extremely unromantic agreement to try and make the effort once a week. We have a 4yo and an 8mo who I'm still feeding and BF KILLS my sex drive stone dead. Once a week is probably 4x more frequently than I would initiate, but it's about 1/7th of the frequency he'd like. I enjoy it when we get going - it's just not in my head. At all, ever.

When I'm not breastfeeding and we don't have a small baby, we're usually a 2-3 times a week couple. When I finish feeding the baby it'll probably go back to normal; it did last time.

dollybird · 16/12/2016 22:36

LBOCS2, I feel exactly the same as you except I don't have the small children as a reason. I mostly enjoy once we get going although sometimes he wants to make it 'last' and I feel like yelling just bloody get on with it Blush

Farmmummy · 16/12/2016 22:37

Hmmm trying to remember the last time. Co sleeping toddler. Daily migraines, fibromyalgia, exhaustion a few times a year at best.