To not have entitled children...

[FearandLoathinginLasVegas]

Looking at the over indulged 'grown up children' thread, and feeling them same with lots of family friends having grown up children living at home, makes me want to make sure I don't do too much for my primary aged children, and how I need to make sure they are independent .. What do yours do and AIBU?

Mine are KS1 atm & they do:
Make beds
Tidy Room
Stack diswasher (with their stuff)
Set table (for all of us)
Tidy up their own mess
Put dirty uniform in washing bin and put next days clothes out

(massive amounts of winging (from kids) - but i'm hoping its worth it in the end)
btw - i'm the worst mummy in the world when i ask them to do this....

I'm not sure what your aibu is? None of that looks unreasonable.

Mine is 6, and the only thing I ask him to do is keep is room and toys tidy.

The rest of the It has to be done, just so. Otherwise mummy needs gin.

Last time I let him get dressed in the morning, his shoes were on the wrong feet, his jumper back to front.

Routine and consistency is your friend long term.

Mine all have house chores. They also have earned cash aged 14 onwards through small jobs - paper rounds and washing up in cafes. My role is to produce fully functioning adults - financial and domestic awareness/skill is a part of that.

We have a lot of the important stuff in our house. Time. Love. Attention. Fun.

Err I make my 2 year old take her finished plate to the sink.

YABU. Your routine sounds fantastic.

YANBU - that's what I meant!

My 19 month old puts away her toys, wipes her high chair clean, puts her (non-ironed) clothes in their drawers.
I used to think that would get her used to following directions and doing chores, but given that every day we have the screaming battles over whether or not she has to wear clothes/stop eating bits of dirt/sit in her buggy, I think it's more likely it just coincides with her main hobby of 'putting things in other things and waving them around.'

However responsibilities at home are the way to go when producing independent, self directed adults imho, when not done to extremes.

Yanbu to have your children help out at home, but you are BU to insinuate that every other child KS1 age who doesn't do all that what your child does is an entitled child.

These are all reasonable chores. I think they teach responsibility and overall have a positive impact on their life. Keep it up!

Yabu. At the moment mine are 4 and 1 so the 1yo is far from helpful but his big sister is good at tidying after him. She has "chores" she finds fun at the moment, such as stacking the new loo rolls but it's all part of slowly integrating her into making the house run smoothly.

TBH if a 6yo is still being dressed in the morning it's no surprise he's getting it wrong - he needs to practise! (Assuming no SN...) Changing for pe must be a nightmare for his teachers...

It's a balance. I have relatives who go too far the other way, for example they have a roster to prepare diner, and it's non negotiable. It's ridiculous, the kids (early teens) will have to miss a party, or a sport training because it's their night. Yes, you have to eat every day, but it wouldn't kill them to get something out or the freezer for a change.

I agree, a teenager should have the knowledge to live on his/her own (some kids don't even know how to witch a dish washer on), and be helpful around the house so they need to start with little things young so it becomes a reflext. That said, toddlers and very young children love helping and doing chores. That doesn't last.

Yanbu.. I meant!!

My DS (9)

Hoovers
Dusts
Empties bins
Feeds the dog
Peels veg
Chops veg with large knife
Makes his own pack ups
Gets himself up and dressed for school
Is learning to operate the washing machine.

MY DD (16) has been doing all of the above since similar age, and much more now. But she moans a heck of a lot more than DS!

Kids are very capable if we let them be. But if you do it all for them, thats what they learn instead, hence the entitlement of some. (I think this is what you are getting at OP?).

Its important to teach kids that you dont get something for nothing in the world imho.

I should add that obviously tasks need to be age appropriate, but they can certainly do more than we give them Credit for sometimes, my kids can if they like skip out on the weekly housework tasks set if they choose, but if they do, they get no pocket money for that week, funnily enough, they tend to do the tasks...

yanbu. Mine age 6 and 8 do way more than that.
They may chose to live as slobs once they leave home, but it wont be because they dont know how to look after themselves and be part of a shared home. Its my responsibility to not let loose yet more infuriating man children into the world.

little he's 6 how is he going to learn if you don't let him dress himself? My dds been dressing since about 4, now she's 5.6 she's really quick.

Mine... make beds, tidy rooms, wash up when there's just a bit, put the washing on (I sort it into machine), take washing out and fold it, fold it from airer, and put away, make their own drinks, and both can make sandwiches/cereal.

Is it messier, yup, but they relish the responsibility, and I feel it's important for them to learn.

Just need them to learn to make a decent cuppa.

dingdong I don't know how to switch a dishwashing machine on- never had one!
My children know how to wash up.

I make mine "earn" half of the Netflix subscription every month by giving their (shared) room a thorough tidy at the weekend.

DD (9) will make cereal/toast for her and DS at the weekend.

Both put their own laundry away, clear their plates, and any mess after meals.

There's usually a fight over who's turn it is to help with meal prep.

Both read labels etc for me, help me shop by showing me where things are, etc.

They've both learned to be conscious of leaving things lying around since they were old enough to understand that I may trip over them.

Very sensible - that's my plan as mine grows older

I do love these threads. They're often full of parents of smaller children who happily do what they're asked.

I do think (generally) things are a lot different with teenagers and young adults. The dynamics are very different with a 17 year old compared to a 7 year old.

I also think it's not as easy as just saying "chuck them out" at 19 if they won't help. 19yo's don't get much, if any help from the government, and I don't know many parents who would happily let their child sofa surf with friends for weeks just because they haven't hoovered or emptied the dishwasher.

4 year old neice does all of this in my house too, also with gentle nagging (and some incentives). My sis can't be asked with nagging/incentives so neice doesn't do anything at home.

Hermione, you are so right. I have two teenagers/early twenties children. One of them is very helpful and obliging and always has been. The other has been a bit difficult since hitting teenagerhood. Teenage girls can be very difficult, and I assure you that I was no pushover when she was younger.

Mine were up chimneys with Arfs children kept them grounded

Seems reasonable to me. 2yo DD is expected to tidy up her toys before dinner and put her clothes in the washing basket at bedtime.
She also helps to unpack the shopping and load/unload the washing machine.