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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want guests to remove their shoes when walking through my house?

609 replies

MummyLizH · 13/12/2016 19:47

Not sure if I'm particularly bothered by this because it's mainly the in-laws who do it, but most people know I expect shoes off as you walk through the front door.

I've mentioned it to dh a few times, I think he thinks I'm just picking at his parents behaviour, but it makes my blood boil... I clean and hoover my home, invite you round and you tread your dirty shoes all over the floor which me and my kids sit and play on (and my little girl crawls around on) Angry. My parents have the decency to bring their slippers!

OP posts:
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CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 14:57

I do apologise, btw, if my frequent, incredulous lols in previous posts, annoyed anyone.BlushBlush

DrWhy · 15/12/2016 15:02

Cara my Health Visitor has always asked, if said I'd like her too if she doesn't mind. She presumably has then looked at the state of our floors and decided that indeed she doesn't mind! I wouldn't insist. The midwives didn't offer and I didn't request.

1horatio · 15/12/2016 15:04

cara

Do you mean something along the lines of tradesmen or more a business dinner?

Yes, if the midwife, a doctor etc has to go upstairs they will remove their shoes. Unless it's an emergency, obviously.

DixieWishbone · 15/12/2016 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 15/12/2016 15:27

In terms of the loveliest houses - One I have been in - with Persian carpets is militant shoes off - and they are more than happy to share their germs from their mouth, mainlining them in via their own forks with small DC. Which I find revolting and baffling.
All other really lovely houses I have been in, have been shoes on. Its every day sort of typical suburban houses which tend to be shoes off round me.

Unwrapped · 15/12/2016 15:59

Why did you save for the most expensive carpet in the shop if you know you have true diagnosed anxiety around cleanliness? Do you realise you kind of paid a premium to feel more anxious?
You could've bought some of that carpet that they use in schools that is easy clean. Then you wouldn't have to feel anxious about it

I'd rather have clean high-quality carpets and a shoes-off rule. If guests respect the rule there's no anxiety about dirt/germs coming in. I like to sit on my rugs and my toddler likes lying on them. Wearing shoes on them is equivalent to wearing my shoes in bed or putting my boots on the sofa.

I don't care if people feel uncomfortable taking their shoes off. If they prioritise their shoes over respecting my home, they're not my sort of person. People who feel awkward about being seen without shoes, how do you manage at the swimming pool/beach/shoe-shop/spa/softplay/toddler groups?

I think it's vain to say your shoes are an essential part of your outfit and you must keep them on for fear of looking silly. If everyone is shoeless you're hardly the odd one out.

GravyAndShite · 15/12/2016 16:01

Unless it's an emergency, obviously.

Thanks for that clarification Grin

Ifailed · 15/12/2016 16:03

Why would you want all the nasty and teaming bacteria from someone's shoe on your flooring

You, your DCs, all your clothes, your floors, furniture, walls and the whole house is already teaming with micro organisms.

Dirty/muddy boots - yes I can understand removing them as it just will carry through. But taking shoes off just in case they are carrying bacteria, and they are, is pissing in the wind.

1horatio · 15/12/2016 16:07

gravy

Well, it is quite important, isn't it? 😂

But I'm a bit surprised by the repeated mention of carpets. We don't even really have carpets (a few, but not a lot) and it's not about having to clean them or the wood floors.

Gene9 · 15/12/2016 16:07

If its not pissing in the wind at all Hmm

Who knows what someone's stepped on, on the floor? People put loads of shit on the floor

RandyMagnum2 · 15/12/2016 16:14

I've just bought a new house, and getting new carpets fitted throughout tomorrow, as long as someone isn't traipsing dog shit or heavy mud around... meh. I take my shoes off in my own house, but I'm not gonna force other people to.

worrierandwine · 15/12/2016 16:17

This keeps happening regularly to me and it really irks me. I'm not sure if people see laminate floor and think it's okay or what but EVERYONE leaves their shoes on now it seems apart from my friends. Even my mum leaves her shoes on as she's "not stopping" so that presumably makes it okay Hmm
I've had midwives, breastfeeding support workers, health visitors recently wander in and stand on my brand new rug with their shoes on and they should surely know better. It's not even so much the dirt, it's the germs when you've got kids and especially crawlers!

CoteDAzur · 15/12/2016 16:19

"I should jolly well hope no one would ask or expect someone coming to a house for a work / professional reason to remove their footwear. That's taking things too far."

You really don't understand the concept of not having people walk around with shoes in one's home, do you.

Its fascinating that you so struggle to get this.

Of course, electrician/babysitter/whoever will remove their shoes at the door.

Unwrapped · 15/12/2016 16:22

Clothes, floors, people all get washed frequently. Yes they are teeming with microorganisms but generally not the harmful kind. Whereas pavements and roads are places where animals urinate and defecate, people spit, vomit and drop food/gum/litter/cigarette butts, vehicles spread mud and dirt. So to me shoes are dirty even if not visibly dirty. I'd rather leave them in the hall with the bikes and pram.

I once walked barefoot from beach to holiday cottage (having lost my shoes in the sea when the tide came in!) It was only a 5-min walk through town, on clean-looking pavements, but the soles of my feet were black with dirt. It didn't wipe off either, I had to scrub with soap and a nail brush!

CoteDAzur · 15/12/2016 16:24

"You, your DCs, all your clothes, your floors, furniture, walls and the whole house is already teaming with micro organisms."

Not the same ones found in dog excrement, urine, and occasional vomit that adorns the typical streets.

You live in your home the way you like, but it is simply wrong to say that streets are no filthiest than our bodies and clothes.

coffeetasteslikeshit · 15/12/2016 16:25

I hate taking my shoes off at other people's houses (unless they're visibly dirty). I think it's precious (unless they're from a different culture) and it makes my feet cold.

Obviously then, I wouldn't ask people to take their shoes off in my house.
The human body contains approximately the same number of bacteria as it does cells. I don't really care if I get a few more trodden in.

CoteDAzur · 15/12/2016 16:37

"The human body contains approximately the same number of bacteria as it does cells. I don't really care if I get a few more trodden in."

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Obviously, it is not the number of bacteria people are worried about.

GravyAndShite · 15/12/2016 16:37

poster coffeetasteslikeshit precious is a very good description.

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 16:39

Most people don't.

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 16:39

To coffee.

1horatio · 15/12/2016 16:40

I don't get the whole 'precious' thing.

Seeing as I'm from a different culture I'm excluded from this. But still..

It's their home they're opening up to us. Why wouldn't I take off my shoes (or leave them on)?

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 16:41

I think it seems to be a fear of germs in addition to a fear of the precious carpets being walked upon. What an awful state of affairs for everyone...

CaraAspen · 15/12/2016 16:44

"CoteDAzur

"The human body contains approximately the same number of bacteria as it does cells. I don't really care if I get a few more trodden in."

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Obviously, it is not the number of bacteria people are worried about."

Are you being deliberately rude?
It may well be - in the more extreme cases - a fear of that very thing. Smile

1horatio · 15/12/2016 16:45

Well...
I guess I have a fear of dog poo, cat poo, human poo, urine, vomit, spit and whatever else was on the street....

It just does not belong in the house. (Imo)

If we had carpets, would it be more acceptable to be 'precious' and make people take off their shoes?

1horatio · 15/12/2016 16:47

It has a lot to do with upbringing, I think.

When I grew up I didn't know anybody where one didn't take off the shoes.

A few families said things like 'oh, if it's just the sitting room...'.

But that was always understood as a curtesy of them towards their guest.