Schools SENCo

[LittleBooInABox]

I'm fully prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable here, but it's been an emotional weekend and I'm still feeling a little fragile so I'd like some fresh eyes to look over this and decide if I should make a complaint of if I'm just being precious.

On Friday I went into see DS class teacher, after a week of tantrums and meltdowns not proportionate to the event: like changing his mind on a sweet and being to late to change it. (Already paid, long que) turns out it was because they were doing practice tests for there sats. DS struggled and become distressed causing him to act out.

DS teacher said she had some concerns because DS is working about a year behind where he is (year 2, age 6) it was eventually settled that he may be strongly dyslexic. I asked for a referral to the schools SENCo, who wasn't in on Mondays.

We spent the whole weekend thinking and reading about how best to support DS. We made him a quite space in his room with some a small desk, chair and let h

So move forward with today.

Our senco did a maths assessment with my seven year old as she really struggles. Did I ask to be there? No because I know it would change the results and my dd needed to feel it wasn't anything to stress about. When we hear our kids are having trouble we immediately want to step in and be part of it all to try and mix it. With such little time left of school what your senco has offered you is very good. Like others have said she's probably going to slot your son in and it won't be massively preplanned.

To the poster further up who referred to us as lazy fools. Grow up! The comments here have all been reasonable.

Your ds is getting support and that's the main thing. This assessment won't change the support he's getting.

Even ds final ados assessment to diagnose autism I wasn't able to be in with him. I was sat in another room while it was done. I would have loved to have been in there but can fully appreciate why it is better not to be.

If a parent is there a child will automatically look to them for hints and cues, they will focus on the parent and look for reassurance from them. It changes the dynamic of the assessment and makes it harder to get an accurate picture. Even more so when it's an assessment being carried out in school which is a natural situation for a child anyway so why make it unnatural?

Most assessments are done without the parents aren't they? We had a private dyslexia assessment for DS and we were told to wait in the waiting room. We were told he was not dyslexic by the way. It does happen.

She didn't laugh at your child. She laughed at your unreasonable request of having your child tested before Christmas.
And gave you a solution to the problem; paying for private.
End of January doesn't seem unreasonable period to wait.
I waited 12 weeks for a speech and language therapist to see my daughter

My ds is in y7 and is still not totally sure of his letter sounds. And it still took until this year to get a definitive dyslexia diagnosis. I think you need to count yourself extremely lucky he's getting as much help as he is.

Larry that must have been a very reputable centre.

Little you aren't listening to the fact that the senco will struggle to even give you a day. She will have one hour ppa time in that day. If something else comes up that needs that hour, then your ds' screening won't be done that day. There is no need for you to be there.

We've tried different programs, and it normally leaves us both in tears.

This really worries me. He shouldn't be doing things he can't do and that stress him to this extent, and seeing you cry will make it ten times worse for him. If he is dyslexic, or if he has other learning difficulties, it won't change who he is. I remember so vividly when my son was at this sort of stage, coming home and saying sadly "I'm one of the thick ones" - and yes, it massively upset me, but I just hugged him and said "Of course you aren't, your brain just works differently." Yes, I put in a lot of work with him, but if he couldn't do things we just left it or tried a different approach. For what it is worth, in Year 6 his school put this "thick" child onto their Gifted and Talented programme.

I even said to Senco give me a day, I can book it off Please don't do this.

I agree deeppan

If you want to help him at home I would do things like playing orchard games with him - some of the memory ones are great as are some of the maths ones.

If he is already struggling you need to be careful that your attempts to help (very genuine caring attempts, please don't think I am having a dig) don't completely inadvertently add to his stress. If he is finding school tough then it's important to as much as possible keep home calm and stress free for him so he gets a chance to switch off and relax.

It costs £300 to get an assessor in for a morning or afternoon at my school. Plus she can't call today and book one for next week. And what do you want to say to the SENCO in the meeting?

It cost me £300 just for dds diagnosis. He came to the school and saw at least 23 pupils over the course of the week and a parent had to be in with their child. There was a lot of discussion initially with the parent about their childs difficulties. This was not just confined to academics problems but other issues a child might have.

The test lasted 1 1/2 hours and whilst I was sat there I realised I couldn't answer any of the puzzles either

In my ds's case I went right back to basics with him. I didn't adhere to any program. I wanted to help him to read as I considered this to be the most important so everything was based on his reading skills which to start with were non existent. I started off at the library with books with just 3 or 4 words in and worked from there. I also practised writing the words but that we didn't have much success in. It was a case of building his confidence.
If you and he are in tears with whatever programme you are doing mighti suggest the programme isn't at a low enough level.

FWIW a proportion of my family struggle to read or write and they certainly haven't found ithas held them back.

They all have successful businesses mostly in part because no one would offer them a job so they went out and carved their own future out for themselves without the reliance on a weekly pay packet. They are certainly not stupid. I would suggest they are dyslexic but being dyslexic wasn't even considered in the 1940s-1980s

I've just come out of a meeting with SENCo, who was actually very helpful.
She explained the whole process, she's agreed it will be done in the first three days back. Explained why I shouldn't be there, which I'm still unhappy with, but I will accept.

We've discussed interventions, what we can do. I have a meeting with DS's teacher tomorrow lunch for some resources and to find out the extent of the problem. And what she recommends I can do with him at home that will benefit him, which they are unable to fund at school.

I have a programme that I will be purchasing, which the TA and I will use at home and school to aid him in his 1:1 phonics.

I'm feeling more positive. Still concerned and I know it's gonna be a difficult road but I'm more calm that he will get there.

Thank you for all the positive responses. It's nice to now that I'm not alone in dealing with this.

Home for a before work

Glad your feeling more positive!

That sounds more positive. What program are they suggesting?

I'm not sure which programme yet, I will ask his teacher what areas she feels he'd benefit from tomorrow and go from there.

That sounds like a good plan.

If you don't get anywhere, the Bearing Away/Dancing Bears stuff from Sound Foundations has been very successful in helping children with dyslexia. I think quite a lot of MNers have used it.

You're definitely not alone. I got very upset when I realised the extent that my son is behind and felt the class teacher was a bit nonchalant. Of course my son is not her only priority and he's my everything. Of course you'll be upset. Any support you give him at home will definitely help. My older ds is year 8 and struggled all through primary but we got him through SATs and he achieved nationally expected targets in literacy. Numeracy improved through maths intervention at secondary and overall he's doing really well. So I am here again with my youngest and have to be positive. it's the only way. Does he have an IEP in place? It's helpful as you can have regular meetings with the teacher to see what his targets are and how he's improved.

The fact the teachers and Senco are being supported is something of a plus.

When ds's year 3 teacher told me his abilities were none existent and 2 year olds would perform better I asked what could be done to help him
His teacher just said she was there just to teach year 3 work that the government had laid down and not there to nurse maid my son.(she was also the schools SENCO).

In maths in year 3 he scored 0 as he couldn't read the question. 1 year later with me reading the questions he was doing GCSE course work

oliversmumsarmy. I don't think teachers realise how upsetting it is to realise that your child is just not coping with school. Yes they have many others to teach, but it is something that needs addressing in a compassionate way. The year 3 teacher who is responsible for my year 4 sons numeracy and literacy responded with a shoulder shrug when I asked her why my son wasn't coping. I don't think I've ever been more angry to be honest. I mean, have some compassion, show us how to support at home. Getting answers regarding these issues is like pulling teeth sometimes. You have to be the one pushing all the time or nothing gets done. And you end up feeling like a pita but when it's your child what choice do you have? I wish teachers would be more proactive about talking to parents when there are concerns and showing us how to support. And I'm sorry Im not going to listen to a whole load of "oh but teachers are under some much pressure!". I have the utmost respect for teachers but teachers don't always have the same respect to parents.

A huge generalisation there?

Ok, hands up, it was.