Schools SENCo

[LittleBooInABox]

I'm fully prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable here, but it's been an emotional weekend and I'm still feeling a little fragile so I'd like some fresh eyes to look over this and decide if I should make a complaint of if I'm just being precious.

On Friday I went into see DS class teacher, after a week of tantrums and meltdowns not proportionate to the event: like changing his mind on a sweet and being to late to change it. (Already paid, long que) turns out it was because they were doing practice tests for there sats. DS struggled and become distressed causing him to act out.

DS teacher said she had some concerns because DS is working about a year behind where he is (year 2, age 6) it was eventually settled that he may be strongly dyslexic. I asked for a referral to the schools SENCo, who wasn't in on Mondays.

We spent the whole weekend thinking and reading about how best to support DS. We made him a quite space in his room with some a small desk, chair and let h

So move forward with today.

I think she was unwise to laugh but she was probably laughing in disbelief and certainly not at your son. An assessor costs a certain amount of money and is usually arranged for 2-3 children at a time to make it feasible. You have been offered an assessment within a very reasonable time frame. The SENCO is right to say there isn't anything else she can do and if you don't feel this is good enough, you have the option to pay yourself. So yes, you are probably being a little unreasonable but you are probably stressed out.

YABU.

I suspect she laughed out of frustration and your attitude. You have NO idea how many children are in desperate need of special needs assessments, yet schools can't get them assessed because the counties won't send anyone to do it!!! It can take years! It's frustrating and infuriating and unfair. And SENCO heads bear the brunt of the frustration from parents, teachers and TAs who are trying to help the children.

The problem is, there is no money. The counties take forever to assess, probably out of desperate fear they'll have to stump up for hours or special assistance, etc. We've had a child who is clearly dyslexic, has been obvious for years, but we're 5 years in waiting for a formal assessment...

You're shouting at the wrong person, OP. Bring your SENCO flowers. She probalby has a long list of children who need support and she''s probably doing everything she can.

Sorry to say you are being very over sensitive here, she did not laugh at your son.
Sencos have a huge workload, and honestly a few weeks to wait for the test is really not bad!

I have a son with autism and normally to get any support, tests, referrals you normally have to wait months.

She did not laugh at your child.

She laughed at the absurdity of a parent insisting that the system in place should be changed just for their little darling!

It sounds like your DS is now in the system for pre-tests which may or may not lead to a diagnosis.

By the way my DS has NEVER had a tantrum, melt down or in any other way acted up as a result of being DYSLEXIC (but has had them as a result of being a child!!)

Let me just make it clear, I'm not angry with the school. I'm angry with the SENCo.

The school have been nothing but supportive. His teacher has additional provisions in place, phonics lessons every day 1:1, spelling, speech therapy. Additional support from TA who sits at his table, to help 3 other kids who are struggling. He has help.

And at home, we've used reading eggs, various other items and resources. We've tried learning based on topics he's into to try and really engage him. With minimal results.

I get that others are on the list, and I don't want to jump the list. But I feel my sons needs are equally as important as the others and a pre arranged appointment isn't too much to ask for.

Working a year behind might be indictative of dyslexia but strongly dyslexic, I'm not so sure. Both of my DS have SpLD (dysgraphia and dyslexia respectively). Both of mine were a year or more behind on literacy in year 2 but not as far behind in other subjects and ahead in subjects like maths and science. Neither of my DS are strongly dyslexic. What they did have was a spikey profile so when assessed by an EP DS2 was about 2 years behind chronological age in reading but 2 years ahead in maths. Also their spoken work was far in advance of their written expression.
The important thing is what support is being put in place to assist your DS. My DS both did structured programmes with the school (Toe by Toe) which help with reading.

Things that helped at home:-
Reading to your child and Audiobooks on CD if reading is a struggle so DC can still access age appropriate stories
Dictating written work to me and me scribing it if the physical act of writing was a barrier.
Agreeing different spellings for spelling tests if DC were still struggling with basic words.
Lowering my expectations and valuing any improvement.

Finding practical ways to explain concepts where descriptions are complex e.g. Division / sharing - I drew circles on paper and got the DC to share out coins i.e. if you have 12 coins and 3 circles how many coins go in each circle.

Don't panic - early identification of problems helps a lot and Yr2 is early enough to make a difference.

Let me just make it clear, I'm not angry with the school. I'm angry with the SENCo.

The SENCO is the school employee? What is the difference?

Who do you think the SENDCO works for?

The SENCO will be co-ordinating the additional provisions op.

OP, when you speak about an incredibly difficult time for your family, are you thinking of something else that the teacher knew about? Because the possibility, suggested by the teacher (who is no expert and cannot possibly diagnose this), that your son may be dyslexic hardly seems to warrant this.

As for your suggestion that this wouldn't happen to a physically disabled child, I am afraid those of us who have or have had physically disabled children would tell you a very different story. Even if a child is in pain or unable to walk, they still have to wait for an appointment and queues can be very long. You need to stay very calm and play the long game.

It may feel difficult, but staying calm and keeping the people whose job it is to help on your side, if at all possible, will be the best you can do for your son. And tbh, though it may be a shock to you if he does turn out to be dyslexic, it's hardly a death sentence. I regularly teach dyslexic postgraduate students.

things that helped at home:-

I would add- audio times tables

Bring the senco flowers? She's not doing her job properly - why would the OP give her flowers?

I'm not saying she can speed up assessment or change the system but a good senco should take the time to explain to parents new to the SEN pathway what the process is likely to be in their LEA. If the urge to cynically laugh at a parent's unrealistic expectations of the process is overwhelming, then following it up with an explanation of why that is unrealistic would be more helpful than assuming knowledge.

Sencos are employed by schools to support pupils and parents. Not laugh at them

And SisterViktorine - assessment, diagnosis and recommendations are often the only way that some children get support in school. While good schools provide the support to meet the child's needs, even without diagnosis, many don't bother. I'm glad your experience has been so positive.

You said you were prepared to be told YABU. Somehow I'm beginning to doubt that.

And tbh, though it may be a shock to you if he does turn out to be dyslexic, it's hardly a death sentence.

Marcus Brigstocke
Eddie Izzard
Orlando Bloom
Keira Knightly
Richard Branson
Lewis carroll

Okay, now you are being very unreasonable. The school is obliged to do what is reasonable to meet your child's needs. Setting up a suitable assessment within a reasonable timeframe is the SENCO doing her job. She is unlikely be doing the assessment herself (an assessor will attend the school) so an appointment will not be possible - it is down to when the assessor can come in.

The OPs child is already getting support in school, an official diagnosis will make very little difference to what is already being provided.

His teacher has additional provisions in place, phonics lessons every day 1:1, spelling, speech therapy. Additional support from TA who sits at his table, to help 3 other kids who are struggling. He has help.

And you're angry with the SENCO whose job it is to organise all that?

If your DS is already getting support, then testing isn't urgent. By the end of January is amazingly fast for things to be moving.

Part of being a parent of a child with additional needs is waiting. And waiting. And waiting some more! Because most services are so over stretched sadly they can't speed people through easily.

Ds is very obviously autistic - but it took over 2 years from the first referral to get the confirmed diagnosis.

When he was in year 1 he started really struggling in school. To the point they knew he couldn't "wait" for his turn for Ed psych to come in so school moved funds to make this happen sooner and pay for a private one to come in - if they hadn't been able to do that though he would have had to wait because they are only allocated limited hours. I am grateful school were in a position to be able to do that and certainly wouldn't have expected it.

Is he your first born?!

I've got three kids and two have autism. One is in year 2. I'd love assessments to be done within a month and given dates but do you have any idea how unfunded the schools are and that your son isn't the only one with special needs?!

A month or so won't make too many odds. Talk to his teacher. You sound like you're doing the right things.

Our senco has said a few things to me in fairly sure are illegal. But I play nice because I know it's a shit job and hard.

Should I moan at my NHS as my dd who does not sleep has had to wait over a month for an appointment with her paed?

Yabu

To be honest if there are issues across the board not just with reading and writing and he has delayed expressive and receptive language then it may not be dyslexia and giving time to assess your son rather than rush to an ed psych appointment targeting a specific difficulty seems much more appropriate.

He is too young to have a formal assessment for dyslexia and if he has delayed language that could skew any results too.

Would a diagnosis help really? He sounds well supported and they are meeting his primary needs and assessing the others. He wouldn't get any more help with a diagnosis and teaching staff should be familiar with quality first teaching which will benefit him and is what is recommended anyway.

You should post on the SEN boards (SN chat or SN children). AIBU is a bit of a mjnefield when it comes to SEN discussions.

His teacher has additional provisions in place, phonics lessons every day 1:1, spelling, speech therapy. Additional support from TA who sits at his table, to help 3 other kids who are struggling. He has help.

Do you have any idea how much the senco has done for your child if he has no diagnosis and all of this support in place? And you're angry with them?!

Let me just make it clear, I'm not angry with the school. I'm angry with the SENCo

Why?! Because you perceived that she laughed at you?!

The teacher can't diagnose your child as being dyslexic. The Senco can't diagnose your child as being dyslexic. She might be able to buy some screening tests to do with your child but they will diagnose nothing and will just give an indication of likelihood.

I would put good money on saying that her 'screener' will NOT be done at an appointment with you watching!! It will be done with her during the school day.

The EP can diagnose. EPs in my area do not this any more-we are told that parents have to pay for a private diagnosis at a clinic-it costs between £4-600. We have one EP visit each term and this is nearly always used for EHCP assessments or transfer reviews.

You need to stop being angry at your Senco and realise she wants to help your child!!

JigglyTuff OPs DS already has a lot of in school support. I haven't worked or known of anywhere in 16 years of teaching where Literacy intervention is only given to those with SpLD diagnoses.

OP I would recommend that you look at some more intensive, SEN specific programmes and start something at home. If reading is main focus Dancing Bears or Toe by Toe. If spelling is the priority Apples and Pears. It's a big time commitment, but if you can do 30 - 40 mins at home every day you will be able to make a huge difference to your DS.

There is also Nessy, but I don't find that there is enough repetition in it. It's a nice add on to the 'drier' schemes.

If you go and post asking for resource recommendations on SN Chat loads of people will have ideas.

I was told ds at 8 was working 6 years behind. He still hasn't had a formal diagnosis as i had to take him out of school because he hadn't a clue what was going on. (teacher would write subject matter on the white board and he had to guess from what the discussions what they were discussing) now he is H/E he cant get diagnosed as you have to be referred by a teacher.

The fact your ds is only running 1 year behind I would suggest is not at this stage anything to worry about.

Dd is also dyslexic, flagged up in reception, then again in year 1 and then again in year 2. She was finally diagnosed at the end of year 9.

I can fully understand why the Senco was laughing. Things don't happen that fast and until you actually pay an Ed Psych then the diagnosis is not worth the paper it is written on.

I'm not afraid to be told I'm being unreasonable. Because I am stressed and worried about what this will mean for DS. Sorry I don't have my rational brain on.

This may all seem so obvious to you all but I've never had to deal with this before, I have no idea on processes and what this means or what to expect. I have a right to be upset that my DS is so upset that he's coming home saying he's stupid and no one likes him. I'm sorry I want to get this dealt with asap to avoid more disruption and self loathing for my DS.
Because building someone back up is hard work, and I want him to be happy confident and believe he can achieve anything.

I am well aware that all children can misbehave, and it doesn't always mean dyslexic.
I am well aware that is isn't a death sentence.
I am also going by what the teacher with over 25 years of teaching experience and 4 years at a special needs school is telling me that she believes he is severely dyslexic.

I didn't come here to offend I came here to seek advice because I had no one else to ask because I don't know anyone else in this position or going through it.

I've tried seeking some support from SENCo and it didn't go well. and as for "the teachers have better things to do that ignore processes for my little darling" I'm aware of that too, that's why I don't ask to see the teacher unless I need to!

SENCo has told me she does the pre assessment. No external agency. No jigging times, just yes I have space here. My own aniexty leads me to want to be there because the school isn't that good at relaying information. And I want the information asap.

I asked for advice, not to be spoken to in a derogatory manor. Given snark and made to feel like a cow. But some of you, a minority seem to be here just to tear others down