Schools SENCo

[LittleBooInABox]

I'm fully prepared to be told I'm being unreasonable here, but it's been an emotional weekend and I'm still feeling a little fragile so I'd like some fresh eyes to look over this and decide if I should make a complaint of if I'm just being precious.

On Friday I went into see DS class teacher, after a week of tantrums and meltdowns not proportionate to the event: like changing his mind on a sweet and being to late to change it. (Already paid, long que) turns out it was because they were doing practice tests for there sats. DS struggled and become distressed causing him to act out.

DS teacher said she had some concerns because DS is working about a year behind where he is (year 2, age 6) it was eventually settled that he may be strongly dyslexic. I asked for a referral to the schools SENCo, who wasn't in on Mondays.

We spent the whole weekend thinking and reading about how best to support DS. We made him a quite space in his room with some a small desk, chair and let h

So move forward with today.

Sirzy is right. My son is also very obviously autistic and took 2 years to get diagnosed. Get used to the waiting. It's hideously upsetting and unfair but it is what it is. I adore my senco and don't blame her for delays or the system in general being shit. I know a lot of parents do blame her, and I hate them for it. As others have said, all the support your da is already receiving will have been organised by the senco

The support may not be right or adequate - if the OP's DS is a year behind and is getting very distressed, it would suggest he needs more/different help because the provision at the moment isn't supporting his progress.

It is very hard adjusting your expectations to manage the glacial speed and lack of funding for SEN provision. Five years on, I'm used to it but I probably had the same sense of urgency the OP does when the school initially flagged issues.

But boo try and work with the school rather than against them. It does sound as if the school is trying very hard to support your DS and it honestly will be a much less difficult process if you can try and build a decent relationship with the senco.

So phone the school, ask the senco when she can meet you for a proper meeting To fully discuss your concerns, take someone with you for support if needed. Don't expect it before Christmas though as it's a busy time of year in schools.

Generally parents don't attend in school assessments though and I don't know if it's generally in the best interest of the child for them to do so as it makes the situation unnatural and they may not respond as normal.

SENCOs have to be qualified teachers. She may not be able to say at present when the appointment will be as she will have to get cover/protection or similar (not sure how primary works on this one).

I genuinely can't see how you've been spoken to in a derogatory manner, on reading your post I interpret the laugh as being a laugh of derision about her frustration about the restrictions of the process.

Your son is already getting a lot of support, which as others have explained is down to the SENCO in all likelihood. The world of SEN is a frustrating and slow place in many different ways, adjusting your expectations is key in many respects if you want to survive it fairly intact.

You will find out in good time from the screening. There is really no need for you to be there. It will be better for your ds if you aren't there.

The senco is probably a class teacher herself and has to do the screening tests during one of her 3 ppa periods per week. She will mentally allocate a time to it, but if something more urgent comes up she will (rightly) deal with that first. Having a specific appointment for this is unworkable in a school. It really is.

January is review month for statements and EHCPs here in time for September admissions. A very busy month for SENDCOs

I do understand the stress, but really you need to calm down and to accept that the chance of getting an appointment within just over a month is actually very, very good for a non-emergency situation.

Even children with serious and painful medical conditions often have to wait longer than that.

The other thing you have to accept is that his difficulties won't magically disappear with a diagnosis. It seems that a lot of the things that will help him long term are already in place, so the diagnosis may not change that much for him.

It may of course help him emotionally to be able to be able to put a name to his difficulties and that may help with his feelings of inferiority. But he will still feel despondent at times at not being able to do what the other children can and you will still have to work very hard to build him up.

The good news is that the school seems supportive and pro-active. So do try to build on that.

There really is no need to be angry at school staff.

My own aniexty leads me to want to be there because the school isn't that good at relaying information.

Do you mean you want to be at the school with the SENCo and sit and watch her whilst she does a preliminary test?!

If she is anything like me-I am a Senco-but I still have a considerable teaching timetable with lots of additional responsibilities, so this sort of thing will often just happen-ie I have an hour this morning, no one has asked me to cover a class or take an assembly, so I'll do that now. It's not something I would book in a day for, a month in advance!

You don't really seem to be taking on board that the best thing you could do right now, OP, is to get on with some work with DS at home. All the programmes I have suggested are designed to be delivered at home by parents and do not need any specialist knowledge.

Why not reduce your anxiety by getting on with something you can control?

I am working on things at home, but again DS. Responds better to short bursts. Instead of an hours structured learning.

If the SENCo had of explained all of that too me then I'd have been happy, how she reaches too and it's about logistics. I'd have happily said ok, but I'd still have liked to have known when it was occurring. That way I can go to get a few days after and say any news. Misreading of asking every couple of days throughout a month.

What does it matter if he's my first born or not!? Does the first born have a higher chance of a learning disability. Comments like that are what I mean when I say snark. Because I care for my son I'm labelled a precious first time mum. But if school had of brought it up and I'd ignored I'm neglectful... no win!

When my DS2 aged around 7 was assessed by a private EP I wasn't present for the test either. I think having a parent in the room can change the way a child reacts e.g. they might start asking for help or refusing to try (that might just be my DS )

The assessment may not be a formal test in a room just with a senco at this stage. It might involve her giving a tick sheet to the teacher and a different one for you at home and then her observing him in a normal lesson to see if she can build a case for an official referral. I think you are probably just distressed and misinterpreted a laugh of frustration and if this is the case it is easy to sort out with a short note explaining you are really concerned and want to understand what's going to happen next and could they call you.

What is the help you would like for your DS then?

Sorry Boo, I've read your middle paragraph a few times and don't understand it.

One surprisingly useful bit of kit is a sandtimer. My two didn't / don't have a clear concept of time so a sandtimer helped as they can see how much time has passed and how much is left. It stops 10mins feeling like an hour.
Short bursts are good. Lots of short bursts of repetition are better and less tiring than long stints.
Also try doing a little bit in the morning when your DS isn't tired rather than too much after school when he is probably exhausted.
This video is good to do regularly

What's the speech and language support been covering?

I meant with that paragraph, if the SENCo had of taken the time to explain to me why it wasn't possible for a date for the assessment. I'd have accepted it, begrudgingly but I'd have accepted it. As it stood, it was a flat no. No explanation, no idea what would happen to DS at this assessment. No mention she was busy she'd call me back another time to discuss just no. It felt like getting blood from a stone in an area which i have no clue about.

So it would have been nice for her to have said no because x, y or z. But this will happen. And then this will happen. Instead she dismissed my concerns then, laughed at them. (How it came across)

I understand she's got a huge work load and stress and what not. But that doesn't make her excerpt from human compassion when it's her job to deal with family's and children who often are propelled into this world with no idea.

It's not like I can google much because it may or may not be relevant. I don't even know what is the problem. I'm going by what my sons teacher, who I assume knows what she's talking about having worked with DS said.

The SENCO is probably 'giving snark' because you are being very pushy, OP. You are already receiving support for your DS that is appropriate and timely; you really shouldn't be getting on this woman's back and driving up her already substantial workload.

Parents don't usually attend the test but can see the report at a later date.

A lot of schools expect parents to pay so your already at an advantage there and a month is noting in the scheme of things over Christmas.

Sound Foundations in case you change your mind.

I asked for an appointment, to come in with DS to sit the test. Because I want to be with him. She said she couldn't book an appointment because other parents may pop in and wish to speak to her. It'll be before the end of January.

Sounds like she did explain. She can't give a set time as she doesn't know what will crop up.

Hi op, I'm in the midst of it all with my DS. He's year 4 and really struggling. I have got upset and found everything really frustrating but they have organised an ed psych assessment for January. I'm really chuffed. I also had a meeting with the class teachers and asked for very specific things to work on at home. So for numeracy is number bonds to 10 and 2 times table and for literacy phase 3 phonics spelling. The ta at school did a baseline assessment on his phonics to find out what he knew which was enormously helpful. you will have to find the time to support at home. Short bursts every day. It just has to happen. Just keep working on basic skills that need embedding. It will be slow progress but I am readjusting my expectations.

Sounds like she did explain. She can't give a set time as she doesn't know what will crop up.

Saying parents may appear and need to speak with her is a bit like saying I'll see x if y doesn't need me. Acceptable in an emergency but not okay if it's just for a chat, and as I've been told up thread not to jump the line and wait my turn this plays here.

It's like a GP saying to a patient I'll see if y doesn't want me.

It would be inappropriate for you to be present during the assessment op and very likely distracting for your ds.