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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban festivities on Xmas eve??

127 replies

facepalming · 12/12/2016 17:59

Dc2 has his birthday on Xmas eve, this is the first one.

We have all the grandparents coming to celebrate Christmas with us, DSis and some friends are coming up for some birthday cake the afternoon of Xmas eve.

I've said I don't want anything Christmas on Xmas eve - that we should keep it just for ds2's birthday - this will be every year until little one is old enough to decide himself how he wants to tackle it.

DH is European so he has the biggest sacrifice since he is used to celebrating Christmas on the 24th and he is on board with the plan.

We have made exceptions that the kids can leave their food and drink for santa and that after they are in bed we can maintain some of the European traditions amongst the adults.

Everyone was initially supportive but then we started with ' oh well can we just... and bit it's only..'

The straw was when I asked if we can do some Xmas present exchanges with those who won't be there Xmas day and I said we can exchange but not open as the day is reserved for dc2's birthday - at least in our home.

dm and dsis have got stroppy about it now and said it's unreasonable to expect to keep the day just as a birthday.

Aibu??

OP posts:
Original poster
facepalming · 12/12/2016 21:46

Oh fantine you didn't?! The one consistent thing I've heard is that birthday presents in Christmas paper is the worst thing to do!

Although at 17 I would think he would be more interested in the present than the wrapping?!

OP posts:
DaisyArtichoke7 · 12/12/2016 21:49

You can celebrate both christmas and his birthday on the same day. If this is what you do it will just become normal for him to get birthday presents and cake and also celebrate christmas with family. Just make sure you all make extra fuss of him because it is his birthday too.

allegretto · 12/12/2016 22:02

The one consistent thing I've heard is that birthday presents in Christmas paper is the worst thing to do!

It isn't.

Original poster
facepalming · 12/12/2016 23:05

Allegretto you have a Christmas birthday? What (if anything) bothers you about it?

OP posts:
allegretto · 12/12/2016 23:11

I don't have a Christmas birthday. I just think that's a bit precious. If someone gets you a present, it hardly matters if it's in Christmas paper - it's still a birthday present. There are plenty of worse things in life! And I do have an Easter birthday (obviously not always!) but I wouldn't stop people from eating chocolate eggs on my birthday!

Original poster
facepalming · 12/12/2016 23:18

From those I know either Xmas birthdays it's been the first thing they've mentioned. I don't think it means they would necessarily worry now or that they are ungrateful but it is clearly something that sticks in their minds from birthdays of their childhood.

I can understand why it would be important to a child to have to help distinction made - I'm not sure it makes them precious.

I can't imagine any of those I've spoken to actually complaining about it to the sender of the gift though!

OP posts:
Merrylegs · 12/12/2016 23:22

We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve, which is also Ds birthday so we always have a big birthday lunch out at a restaurant (his choice), then it's Christmas in the evening.

GardenGeek · 12/12/2016 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HoneyBunnySunny · 12/12/2016 23:42

I really think you're overthinking this. Dd2 has a Christmas Eve birthday. She loves it. It's 2 days of fun, presents, family and food. She has her birthday presents, then a trip to the pantomime in the afternoon. They get all the children with Christmas birthdays on stage, shower them with sweets and sing happy birthday to them. We then have a family party with mince pies and birthday cake followed by Christmas movies. She thinks having her birthday then makes Christmas extra special. We have a mad mixture of Christmas and birthday decorations and even had "birthday girl" baubles on the tree. We try to wrap in birthday paper but she doesn't really care as long as she has a birthday card and cake! Last year there were a couple in Christmas paper. I'm not sure she noticed!

I didn't stop any of our family traditions but evolved them so they included her birthday.

Original poster
facepalming · 12/12/2016 23:45

Sounds like we definately have to incorporate pantomime into the celebrations once he is old enough!

OP posts:
Sweets101 · 12/12/2016 23:52

Dsis spent years thinking the world was celebrating her birthday as it's close to Xmas.
I think to ban Xmas on Xmas eve would be unnecessary for DS and irritating for others and only lead to resentment and oddness that really wouldn't be pleasent for anyone.
DD has an Xmas birthday too. The two things are distinct but celebrated concurrently, she loves it. It'seems just so damn festive who wouldn't!

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 13/12/2016 00:10

Sorry haven't RTFT as have to go to bed!

I think it's a bit unrealistic to insist that people pretend it's not Christmas in order to acknowledge the birthday.
I think you can combine the two and make it about both.

I know a couple of people, my children's ages who have 24th or 25th Dec. birthdays and they have half birthdays celebrated in the summer.

Let's face it, when your DC is at nursery/school, you are not going to get much of a birthday party going on the day.

24th June will be very popular, and much easier to organise.

maras2 · 13/12/2016 00:14

facepalm
AIBU?
Yes and don't be so blooming silly.
Xmas Smile

MrGrumpy01 · 13/12/2016 05:21

One of d's friends was born Christmas Eve. They have her birthday till tea time then start on Christmas.

And I never use Christmas paper for presents.

Ethylred · 13/12/2016 05:28

(1) Have a 2 day Christmas.

(2) Order in Chinese or Indian to save on cooking.

Flum · 13/12/2016 05:54

Umm.. He is 1 .... He will have no idea!

In future years you coudk do a birthday outing for him but hard to avoid Christmas at Christmas! You just gotta suck that one up I think. When people are too controlling at Chrostmas it tends to just cause friction.

Topseyt · 13/12/2016 18:59

DD2's birthday is on 6th December.

I have often ended up wrapping her birthday presents in Christmas paper as I just use what I have around at the time. She has never given a shiny shite and she has now just turned 18.

hidingwithwine · 13/12/2016 19:13

DS1's best friend is born on 25th Dec. They are now late teens but when little his parents had a birthday party for him in the summer, and his guests/family bought presents then for him. We have always bought him a wee present for his actual birthday and made a point of wrapping it in birthday paper, and then his Christmas present in festive paper. That's his biggest bugbear, getting birthday presents in Christmas paper!

Bluntness100 · 13/12/2016 19:22

This is crazy, my birthday is on the 23 rd, it's a great birthday, Xmas eve even better, all his family will remember it, when he's older all his friends too, everyone is in the mood to celebrate, they will all make a special effort for his birthday, and no he won't ever be at school on it, he will possibly never even work on it.

Telling people they can't do anything Christmassy and focus only on him is mad. The more fun the better, it doesn't lesson his birthday, have everyone over and enjoy. It's his birthday and it's Xmas eve, brilliant time to have a birthday, try not to pretend it's not Xmas and dictate to others. That's madness. Celebrate it all.

Bluntness100 · 13/12/2016 19:27

Oh and don't bring him up believing he's got a crap birthday, bring him up thinking his birthday is cool as hell, all you need to do is ensure two sets of presents and no one gives one for both.

Original poster
facepalming · 13/12/2016 20:53

I am so pleased to hear from so many with Xmas birthdays that they don't hate it completely and that there are so many up sides!

I think the take away for me is that we don't need to play down Xmas just make sure we don't lessen the fuss for his birthday to make way for it - making sure he still feels special as the birthday boy.

At least until he is old enough to voice his own opinion!

Thanks so much for all the constructive input.

OP posts:
Thegirlonthebus · 14/12/2016 00:56

Slightly off the wall suggestion that a friend of mine used to do (she was a Christmas baby) is that they celebrated her half birthday in the summer. She's 40 now and still does this as she enjoys keeping the celebrations separate. Just another idea to throw in to the mix.

WhiskyAndTwiglets · 14/12/2016 01:11

Massively unreasonable and slightly bonkers but glad you are reconsidering 👍🏻

Don't count on June 24 being much better though if you do that. He's likely to have GCSE, Alevels and degree exams as well as it being a popular end of year exam time from 11 or whatever. If you go for a summer birthday (although sorry, I think it's precious!) don't pick an exact date then you can do a weekend thing whenever suits.

We also celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. Solely in fact, we've packed the little one off to ski school at 8am on Christmas Day before 😂 It's lovely and I'd have adored a special Christmas baby.

FANTINE1 · 14/12/2016 07:50

Returning to this a bit late. re my terrible faux pas of wrapping a birthday present in Christmassy paper. I too have a birthday very close to christmas, and when I was younger I would often get a Christmas/Birthday present combined as opposed to everyone one else who got their presents separately. I think that is much worse.
I really couldn't be bothered complaining about wrapping paper. I was brought up to be grateful for what you received, regardless of what it was wrapped in!

Randonneur · 14/12/2016 08:17

I think given the complication that Christmas Eve is important to your dh's family in its own right, I would celebrate your son's birthday from sun down on the 23rd to sun down on the 24th. Obviously a 1 year old doesn't need 24 hours of celebration but you could tell people this year so they are better prepared for next year.

Sun down in mid December is early enough that even the kids can exchange Christmas presents if they need to.