To ban festivities on Xmas eve??

[facepalming]

Dc2 has his birthday on Xmas eve, this is the first one.

We have all the grandparents coming to celebrate Christmas with us, DSis and some friends are coming up for some birthday cake the afternoon of Xmas eve.

I've said I don't want anything Christmas on Xmas eve - that we should keep it just for ds2's birthday - this will be every year until little one is old enough to decide himself how he wants to tackle it.

DH is European so he has the biggest sacrifice since he is used to celebrating Christmas on the 24th and he is on board with the plan.

We have made exceptions that the kids can leave their food and drink for santa and that after they are in bed we can maintain some of the European traditions amongst the adults.

Everyone was initially supportive but then we started with ' oh well can we just... and bit it's only..'

The straw was when I asked if we can do some Xmas present exchanges with those who won't be there Xmas day and I said we can exchange but not open as the day is reserved for dc2's birthday - at least in our home.

dm and dsis have got stroppy about it now and said it's unreasonable to expect to keep the day just as a birthday.

Aibu??

He's ONE ffs.

YABU, I wouldn't be coming if I was your family member.

I think YABU whether he is small or big.

Your rules mean that some of your guests won't get to see their gifts being opened and appreciated. This is one of the best bits of Christmas you're banning.

My friends DD's birthday is Xmas eve.

The morning is exclusively for her birthday.

After that they revert to Christmas stuff, whether it's going ice skating or having people over for christmas food.

You can't go around dictating everyone else's Christmas and it sounds like you're pissing all the festive spirit. Banning festivities - can you hear yourself?

Bonkers -he is one. He won't even know! Have birthday celebrations in the morning and then combine Christmas and birthday in the evening. It doesn't have to be exclusive, you can celebrate both.

Yeah I can see it will be ok while he is small, I was worried about setting a president.

I wonder how those with Xmas birthdays felt about sharing their birthdays as kids? I feel rotten that he won't get a day of his own like his sibling

That's nuts.

He's going to be oblivious to it all anyway.

(and for the record, I think YABU in perpetuity, not just because he's too young to know. But I do see where you are coming from, it's just a losing battle so better to find a/resign yourself to a solution you can be happy with that will actually have a fighting chance)

To those being a bit mean I'm not suggesting cancelling christmas - just preventing his birthday being used as an opportunity for a Christmas family gathering.

We are hosting Xmas day and have invited all of the immediate family - not all are coming.

But I do see that it's a bit much for a one year old.

I suppose we revisit if it bothers him when he is old enough to say so

I can also see why you'd want to start this way from the off - to establish the principle going forward.

I think it's going to be pretty impossible to police though especially with six kids involved who will no doubt be in ultra-hyped Christmas Eve mode.

I'd go for morning/early afternoon birthday time and maybe a day out at a later date when he's older.

Since he's so young YAB(a bit)U. However,if you set a precedent of just this and that,it will become harder to change things in the future.
Other than that YANBU. I'll admit I am biased as i have a very close to xmas bday,which just got lost in preparations or celebrations. At times it was even an inconvenience. So I hated it for years. I was 23 when someone made a fuss over my bday in it's own right for the first time.
As long as your OH doesn't mind I think it's fine to only celebrate your child's birthday on their actual birthday,and i think you found a good compromise by having some grown up stuff once the kids are in bed.

Id do one of 3

1 do hes main birthday in the morning then after lunch christmas stuff

2 do it all together

3 celebrate hes birthday on the 23rd.

Unfortunately you can't tell people what they can or can't do on Christmas eve. If you invite family for a party, you can't expect them to not do Christmas, especially when there are other children involved that won't see the relatives in question on the big day.
So don't be a spoiler, it's Christmas eve and your lo b day! Time to party!!!!

Thank you all, it's really helpful to hear from an outside perspective.

I think I've been feeling a bit of guilt about having an Xmas baby - of course I know it can't be helped but I feel sad he wont have a day that's all his to be spoilt on!

He's only 1, so just carry on as you normally would and add in a little birthday celebration at some point during the day?? Then let things evolve naturally as he gets older and more aware over the next 2/3 years, it may suit you to make less of a big deal on his actually birthday but have a party earlier in December or in the summer instead. I wouldn't want to miss out on Christmas Eve, as Christmas is all about the anticipation surely! Especially for kids, so if you carry on this way he will be missing out on that build up rather than his birthday!

I wonder how those with Xmas birthdays felt about sharing their birthdays as kids? I feel rotten that he won't get a day of his own like his siblin

One of DD's friends when she was younger had a Christmas Day birthday.
Thy did the half and half thing re the day itself.
but she also had another special day just for her, it was when she celebrated with school friends and had a party - her half birthday on 26th June.

You can soften the blow for him in future years by celebrating his 'half birthday' on 24th June every year.

It's not quite the same but I had my son (2nd of 4DC) on my 21st birthday so he's never had a day all to himself but has never minded, he's loved the fact that his birthday is a bit different to everyone else's!

He will be spoilt for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Stop trying to dictate. All you will achieve will be to put people's backs up, and what good would that be to all. Everyone who gets given a gift on that day should open it there and then, especially if they might not see the giver on Christmas Day. The gift giver probably wants to see their gifts being opened and enjoyed, as that is part of the point of the party.

Chill. It will be fine. As long as you all enjoy yourselves, then I really don't see what the big issue is.

YANBU to be considering how to make his day special though. And I think you are right to consider it this year and it does then tend to set the precedent for the future too.

I think it is only an issue with birthdays on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Any other day round the festivities are easily worked round, and aren't special Christmas day events. Just those two days are special Christmas ones in themselves.

Hence I'd go for a half/half day re birthday/Christmas.

I wouldn't overly worry this year as your DC won't know. Why not have a think about what works/what doesn't this year and keep the best bits as traditions going forward?