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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think neighbours should come and collect their parcel?

264 replies

bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/12/2016 21:51

Dh took in a fairly large parcel (think box of wine size) for our neighbours on Thursday or maybe even Wednesday afternoon - I can't remember.

It has been in our narrow one person width hallway since then.

Aibu to be a wee bit pissed off now?

And

Wwyd?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 10/12/2016 22:16

I have now learnt that if I've had email notification that a parcel should have been delivered, but no note through the door, and no sign of it round the back of the dustbins (a usual place for delivery,) then I should knock on the neighbour's door to ask before chasing up with the sender. One parcel had gone astray, and I have never seen it, but they've had about 3 parcels for me, which I never had a note for. In the first two cases, I had been chasing it up with the sender by the time my neighbour saw me in the street and mentioned he had a package for me.

Do you need a notice on the door? Can't you just refuse to accept it when they knock on the door to ask you to take it?

bumsexatthebingo · 10/12/2016 22:17

If you don't want to take parcels for them anymore just refuse No need for a dramatic sign on the door!

PickAChew · 10/12/2016 22:17

Let them know. They might not have had a card.

I had a box of wine delivered to a random neighbour, a few years ago, when we went away for the weekend. Parcelfarce muppet didn't think to put a card through our door. Thankfully, after tracking it down, it was nice neighbours who could be trusted nto to drink it all.

Same muppets put another case under our hedge, right by a main road, in the pouring rain, once day. Had to carry it in a bottle in each hand at a time, because the box had all but disintegrated, by the time I got home.

notangelinajolie · 10/12/2016 22:17

Oh my goodness... do you even have to ask this this question? Ffs take it to them!

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/12/2016 22:17

How do you know it's a one time thing! Jesus I am sick to the back teeth of this "get a grip" trope on here.

My neighbour on the other side is an older lady who never seems to have parcels delivered, or if she does she is home to take them in.

My next neighbours both up and down the road are good friends of mine and would come and collect within a few hours.

The neighbours who I won't take parcels for any more are both out of the house 8-7, so why are they even ordering things for home delivery? We take in loads of parcels for them as we work from home most of the time so and they are massive spenders/consumers .

OP posts:
cardibach · 10/12/2016 22:17

What bit of every response made you think refusing to take in parcels for that specific address was the best course of action?
YABU to be irritated - take it round, or if it's too heavy pop round and ask them to collect it.
YABVU to write that sign. WTAF?

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/12/2016 22:19

bumsex - I'm going to put a sign on the front door to save me/dh the trouble of having to interrupt work and get up from our desks to answer the doorbell unnecessarily.

OP posts:
Ginkypig · 10/12/2016 22:20

If your not happy stop accepting parcels for them.

cardibach · 10/12/2016 22:20

We don't know it's a one time thing, but you didn't say otherwise at the start so it's a fair assumption...
In your case I isn't a 'get a grip trope' but a justified request to get a grip.
OP:AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: no im not because

Saucery · 10/12/2016 22:20

You'll look a right knobhead specifying which house you won't take parcels in for.
If you absolutely must, then just refuse them at the door, to the delivery person. Or put a general notice up, so no one ever knocks to ask again, for anyone.

melj1213 · 10/12/2016 22:23

Seriously? YABVU

Why didn't you take it round on Wednesday or Thursday or Friday or today if you're that bothered about it being there? If it's such an inconvenience to have a "wine box sized" (which imho is not a large parcel) in your hallway, why not put it somewhere less inconvenient?

It might just be because I live on a terraced street of two up two down houses, but it's very easy to know when my neighbours are in or out ... so whenever I've taken in a parcel, when I see them come home I wait to see if they come round to collect it and if they don't I either pop round with it or, if it's too heavy/bulky to manage, pop round and tell them I have a parcel and ask them to come over and I'll help them carry it home.

clarkeologist · 10/12/2016 22:23

I'm quite glad I don't live next door to you. Unless it became an almost daily occurrence it wouldn't cross my mind to begrudge doing neighbour a favour if I was in and they were not Xmas Confused. It is the season of goodwill you know.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/12/2016 22:24

I assumed since you didn't mention it being a frequent occurrence that it wasn't. Seemed like a fair assumption to make because previous incidents would have been pretty important information for deciding if yabu.

As for the 'out 8-7': perhaps they expect deliveries to be put in a safe place? That happens for me a lot but often end up going to a neighbour? Or perhaps they just believe in neighbourly kindness?

I just can't see the issue, sorry. It's like making a problem just so you can have one to complain about.

WinterIsHereJon · 10/12/2016 22:24

I once accepted delivery of a mattress for our neighbour's. It was days before they collected it, they were never in when I popped round! That was annoying; a small box not so much!

Saucery · 10/12/2016 22:24

And wasn't it you, OP, who started a thread about the excessive use of the strikeout? Amusingly.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/12/2016 22:25

But I am happy to accept parcels occasionally for neighbours. Just not the ones who treat us as their own personal holding depot.

I say again, if you work full time and are never at home during normal delivery hours during the week ... what do you do about ordering parcels for home delivery? Aren't you just relying on the goodwill of your neighbours? Isn't it a bit like expecting a sahm to be delighted to do bits of childcare for you after school because, you know, she's got nothing better to do?

OP posts:
bumsexatthebingo · 10/12/2016 22:26

We get parcels delivered even though we often aren't in because we request for them to be left in a safe place (which they usually are) or are happy to get them from the very local sorting office. Our neighbours sometimes take them though and I will take them for neighbours. I think it's a neighbourly thing to do.
If you think it's better to piss of your neighbours by pinning a note about them on your door than to take in parcels then go ahead. Though if I saw a note like that on anyone's door I'd think they were unhinged.

Saucery · 10/12/2016 22:27

I think you are overthinking this. Or you have something against them working full time?

Your response to this seems strange.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/12/2016 22:27

Also, I love the fact that you have intentionally left yourself inconvenienced because that is the better option than just taking a parcel to a neighbour. Utterly ridiculous.

Original poster
bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/12/2016 22:27

What has the strikeout got to do with anything? I have used it once today, feel free to search my other posts this week to see if I've been excessive about it Saucery.

OP posts:
MrsSnootch · 10/12/2016 22:27

OP you do not come across in a very flattering light on this thread. You ask if you are being unreasonable, and if someone dare to hint otherwise, you get all defensive! What is the point of starting this pathetic self serving thread??

I think this part sounds very judgemental :-
''The neighbours who I won't take parcels for any more are both out of the house 8-7, so why are they even ordering things for home delivery? We take in loads of parcels for them as we work from home most of the time so and they are massive spenders/consumers ''

Not everyone is as lucky as you are, to work from home. These people who are out of the house for 11 hours per day, they deserve to purchase things too. they have families they may want to purchase xmas presents for too,

How do you come to the conclusion that are massive spenders, they may have ordered something for £1 for all you know, the only way you can know for sure what they are spending, is if you are opening all their parcels - ARE you opening all their parcels? As either you are
A) Breaking the law by opening others mail
or
B) making a fool of yourself with sweeping statements of which hold no evidence
Which is it?

So much for goodwill to all men, are you one of these people that makes a drama out of everything in life, as you have got jack shit going on?

Thud Thud thud *EastEnders exit

PaulAnkaTheDog · 10/12/2016 22:29

bumsexatthebingo yuuuup. Better put than my post.

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/12/2016 22:29

Seriously?

Do you have any idea how many cards we haven't had befire. Or how they have been posted but are invisible still inside the letterbox?

Good chance they have left instructions to leave in a safe place or are perfectly happy to pick up from the local drop off.

If you don't want to take in the parcels then don't but don't make any assumptions when you have absolutely no idea whether they even know you have the bloody thing.

Saucery · 10/12/2016 22:30

I've had that, bumsexatthebingo! Requested a safe place but it was delivered to neighbour. I didn't check their faces for the seething resentment of a Home Worker disturbed from toil to trek the wasteland of the hallway to the frozen wastes of the porch.
Feel bad I didn't, now. There might be a shirty note pinned to a door down the street.

eternalopt · 10/12/2016 22:30

I order loads off the Internet but work full time (hence needing to do Christmas shopping on the net). Means I have loads of parcels delivered. Neighbours up and down the street are lovely and always take in parcels for us. It's actually been a good way to meet them all after we moved in. Likewise, when we are in, or when the grandparents are here looking after the kids, we take parcels for them. Sometimes they collect, and sometimes we take them over to them. Several times, the delivery driver hasn't left a note. Think it's just accepted as part of modern life with people working more and Internet shopping on the rise and I quite like the community feel it brings to the road. I'd be mortified to be singled out in a sign on someone's door. Seems very unnecessary. If they knock the door with something big, just say no there and then saying you haven't got space or won't be in for them to collect. I'm sure the delivery drivers will soon get to know you anyway and avoid you if you keep refusing.