WeatherwaxOrOgg I am so sorry about your experiences and also about the reaction of your parents.
Navyandwhite it does not matter why the Op doesn't feel comfortable with this, she just doesn't.
LagunaBubbles "So if the mental health problems aren't really the issue it just comes down to end fact he's a man doesn't it?" This is not necessarily the case. But even if it were, mistrusting men because they are men is not an offence. It does not make all men are bad, it just means enough women have had bad experiences of men to be 'wary'.
Xina, in your shoes - I would be to tell your mum it is not working out for you and you would like a break from the one night a week at grandma's house.
The alternative is to stick wth something you are not happy with or you tell her you are unhappy and prepare for her to:
a) get the hump
b) tell her partner, which could cause a family 'issue'
c) nod and agree and still let her dp look after the boy
d) any or all of the above
e) understand what you mean and look after your son herself
If you seriously think she will do any of the a-d options then it is easier just to say it is not working out.
Personally, I would lay off the Take a break magazines, they freak me out too, if I read them. But no one on this thread can tell you it is totally safe and really you do need to trust your gut, you can always change your mind when your son is older.
There is someone in my life who I would never allow my kids to be looked after by overnight. No proof or evidence at all, no real suspicions, just a feeling I have. It could be lack of appropriate supervision or something more, it could be attitude around kids etc, whatever - just trust your gut.