To be annoyed (and upset) by my sister and her DH?

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Me and my 4 siblings were left some shares by our late father. The shares did not split exactly into 5 so my youngest sister had one less. It was agreed if we ever benefited financially then we would even that share our by giving her a goth of the price of the share.

The company was sold a few weeks ago and we all got a considerable amount of money (in excess of £50,000). The check itself took a while to be posted out and the funds only cleared in my account a few days ago.

It was agreed when they were sold that we would give my youngest sister the money at Christmas (it works out about £15 from each sibling so £60 all together) and she was fine with this.

Anyway, yesterday me and my other siblings received a message from her DH stating that 'it was getting ridiculous' and sister wants the money now as she is 'anxious' and we have had 'plenty of time' to sort it. I am really upset. I have seven kids (well five of them are over 18 now) a full time job and generally really busy around Christmas (lots to buy etc). Besides this, it was agreed we would give it at Christmas and does she really need the £15 right now?

AIBU to be upset and think he is being extremely rude or is it is for not giving the money straight away?

As to not drip feed her DH has form for speaking for her and doing things similar to this (he has made mum cry with his comments before).

I find it frustrating to read that you managed to get a huge sum of money sorted but the £15 is causing issues. Please don't let this affect your relationship - it's not worth it. Just send her the money via BT and text her telling her you've done it. Then let it go.

Thats a bit odd of her then....

I dont understand why you are waiting for xmas. Its a separate thing. Just do a bank transfer then you can enjoy xmas as a family without this hanging over you.

No I mean £15. Obviously if it was 15K I would pay it!

Why does it matter how much it was for?? You don't get to decide what you should pay or not pay - it's her money. You should send it to her now if not already done so.

Sorry share price was £75, we all had a lot of shares, but she had one last share (as the amount my dad had would not split into 5). We got over 57,000 (all five of us) youngest just got £75 less.

I don't know her bank details so how can I transfer

DS is going past which is why he has it (he has a football match that way tomorrow)

Yes please establish...are we talking £15.00, £1,500 or £15,000?
No one who has just come into £50,000 is bothered about getting an additional £60 immediately.

So it's like you all got £57,000 but she got £56, 940?

I suspect her DH is winding her up something rotten about you all. He must not like you all very much.

The amount doesn't matter. Pay it. You owe her. If you can't drop the cash off she'll need to accept a bank transfer, but just get it done either way. She shouldn't have needed to chase up - yabu for being so tardy.

It was sisters idea to wait! Like I said earlier if she made it clear she wanted it initially it could have been arranged (i.e. I would have asked for her banking details at the time).

Her idea to wait then her husband sends a message saying it's ridiculous. Prior to this there was no indication she wanted it earlier.

Sorry x posted.

Yeah I'm quite stunned by that. Seems very disproportionate on your sister and her dh's part.

OK so it's being paid tomorrow. Cool.

It won't be £15,000 because it was one share left over.

Personally if i had just recieved £57,000 I wouldn't be expecting people to drop off £15 in cash, at my house but it is her right to expect it to be returned ASAP.

If it was me who ad "borrowed" it then I would have transferred it as soon as it arrives in my account.

I wouldn't drive 40 miles to give someone £15 that's just ridiculous.

This thread is bonkers.

You Are Not Being Unreasonable.

Her DH is a total arse.

Have you actually spoken to your sister about the message? If not, do.

YANBU
And her husband sounds abusive. If she is indeed anxious, that's probably bc of him.

I was going to say you were BU as it takes two minutes to do a bank transfer, but the insistence on cash delivered to her house changes it all imo. Totally not unreasonable.

Also if your BIL is determined to cause a row over £15 I'd have insisted on BT as cash means there is no proof that it was given.

Hope your DH gets a receipt.

How can anyone say the husband sounds abusive?

Perhaps she feels anxious that again she isn't getting what everyone else does and he is trying to sort it.

No one can say this is him being abusive

So she said to you to just give it to her when you see her at Christmas? That sounds reasonable and something I would say.

Her husband has obviously got it in for the rest of you. How is he with you normally?

I would text or better still phone sister say why didn't she text letting you know she had changed her mind, but no matter your son will be passing nearbu tomorrow if that's soon enough he will drop the money off then. Is her husband controlling? I would be concerned that she is benefiting and not just her husband.

Ok maybe he's just being a rude twat. Or maybe the sister is a wee bit.......highly strung and he's been getting it in the ear for weeks and her whole "Christmas" idea was passive aggressive bollocks when she was internally seething at not getting it the minute the cheque cleared.

But either way, hopefully the £15 today will shut them both up.

OP has anyone else been in contact with her since the husband's text?

You got how much? And she gets 60 pounds??? 15 from each of you?

No it's just the difference. Like the other siblings got 10 shares each and the little sister got 9. So it was agreed to even up on disposal.