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AIBU?

to be livid that school announced today that grandparents not allowed at xmas assemblies?!

124 replies

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 09/12/2016 20:39

I'm beyond angry.
DS5 & DD go to infants, the same school my oldest 4 went to so we've been there since 2005.
It's always been costum for a while now that younger siblings are only allowed at dress rehearsals but grandparents were always welcome.

But today we were sent a letter, that GPs can only attend dress rehearsal too. This is dumped on people AFTER reception children's dress rehearsals this morning - so a lot of angry families! They all arranged for next week not being told this rule in advance!

Personally I'm fuming. My mum is flying in tomorrow, her stay specifically timed so she can see grandkids plays and be here for DS4's birthday As she lives in Hungary she misses out on a lot - how could I possibly tell her she is now not allowed to go?!

MIL was actually going to see DD's dress rehearsal but DD was sick in the night (as well as DS5 and the later DS3) so she wasn't in school.
PILs have been putting us up for the last 6 months (building work on our house) and was really looking forward to seeing the kids as well.

Am I supposed to really say to both grandmas "Sorry, you are not allowed"?
What kind of rubbish is this?
I'm so very upset, I'm sick as well, this year has been mainly quite shit and we were all looking forward to these little performances.
I don't know what to do and although I will talk to HT on Monday about this (grovelling if must) I can't help feel so disappointed & sad & angry.

AIBU that this is just not fair & was/is being handled really badly?

OP posts:

Report

BeanAnTi · 09/12/2016 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amaried · 09/12/2016 21:13

I think you need to calm down alittle, of course and your mom are disappointed but I'm assuming they need to limit numbers because of health and safety concerns. Absolutely chat to the Ht and ask for her reasons but in a calm manner. Don't be surprised if she doesn't make an allowance for your family as that would be opening the flood gates and I doubt any head would do that..

SheldonCRules · 09/12/2016 21:14

Two per performance here too, think it's pretty standard. There's only so many for fire regulations etc.

It's only a children's play, surely you can find an activity locally that grandparents can take part in instead and spend quality time with the children.

I8toys · 09/12/2016 21:14

It should be 2 per child and when all tickets are allocated - then you are allowed extras. All parents should get first dibs on their child's performance. Great Auntie Mable and her weekend boyfriend are relegated to the extra tickets if available I'm afraid.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 09/12/2016 21:14

OP how about if, say, you and your mum go to one performance and your in laws go to the second (or one of them with your partner if you have one)?

I doubt they'd let you in but turn your mum away.

What do you think?

OpalTree · 09/12/2016 21:17

Ha ha at "Great Auntie Mable and her weekend boyfriend"

DodoRevival · 09/12/2016 21:18

How about your mum goes in your stead? Or instead of your dd's dad

LineyReborn · 09/12/2016 21:18

If there are no tickets, how are the school going to actually do this?

Ruprecthepanbasher · 09/12/2016 21:18

Livid / upset / sick... I think you need to calm down. Yes, the grandparents will miss the play (unless they have your tickets?) but surely if they're flying in then they'll see their grandkids for more than just one hour at the play? Just video it instead. Most grandparents have never seen a school play.

Perp · 09/12/2016 21:18

The school should have given better notice but i agree with the principle. Our school hall isn't big and play tickets are like gold dust. I missed out on seeing one of mine in their first nativity because people wanted to have all and sundry come to see their little cherub. It totally pissedme off

witsender · 09/12/2016 21:19

It is short notice, but presumably brought in because of an issue in the showing that has already been.

Our local schools all do 2 tickets per family, with any extras given back so that spares can go to grandparents or whatever nearer the time.

DrScholl · 09/12/2016 21:19

'livid'

SirChenjin · 09/12/2016 21:19

Not great that they've left it til the last minute but these things happen- probably a number thing. Every school I know has a number limit per child - sounds like the HT has had to clamp down. They can still attend the dress rehearsal, right?

LineyReborn · 09/12/2016 21:20

OP says there are no tickets.

Butterymuffin · 09/12/2016 21:21

The rule is reasonable, but it's been very badly timed and communicated.

I'd point that out and ask if, given your mum has travelled so far, she could be allowed in. But they may still refuse.

Can you get a recording of the play?

StarUtopia · 09/12/2016 21:21

Badly handled by the school but I think you need to get some perspective! Hardly a reason to be fuming?

Arrange for gps to take the kids out, put a play on at home, decorate some baubles with them..oh i don't know! So many things they could do with them. Let's be honest. School plays are crap anyway!

If they're really desperate to see it, send them instead of you?

My parents have never seen a play and I don't think it would even occur to them that they would tbh - they did their stint when we were kids!

ALittleMop · 09/12/2016 21:21

Parents have to trump grandparents when space availability is an issue.

No, each child having someone there for them - whoever that is - should be the priority. Of course people trotting in with 26 extended family members isn't on.

OP - the school's cocked up but your mum will get over it.

DodoRevival · 09/12/2016 21:22

No grandparents doesn't mean that literally (well I seriously doubt it) it means two adults per family only. My mum lives abroad and if she was here when there was a show on she'd go on my 'ticket' (there aren't any physical tickets), I'd have a glass of wine stay at home instead.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 09/12/2016 21:22

OP says there are no tickets.

Imo then and experience they are trying to stop numerous family members for some children turning up, meaning that parents of others can't get in.

kali110 · 09/12/2016 21:23

I don't think pleading is going to do much good, head would have to do it for several others then.
School should have given bit more of a notice.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 09/12/2016 21:23

YABU. The late notice is crap but you are really overreacting. Its a school play. It sounds like your mum would have come over anyway, its just it was timed for this so that as a reason is a red herring.

ALittleMop · 09/12/2016 21:24

Yes, tbh OP, let the GPs go in your place. Problem solved.

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kali110 · 09/12/2016 21:25

Just realised they can go to the dress rehearsal, so not missing out completely then.

ValaMalDoran · 09/12/2016 21:27

Ours are 2 tickets per child because the school physically cannot accommodate more people and the kids can't cope with more than 2 performances. Dress rehearsals are watched by the other kids in school that aren't in the play.

ValaMalDoran · 09/12/2016 21:28

They ANBU to change it but they ABVU to
Give zero notice, especially as the dress rehearsals have passed.

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