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AIBU?

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Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
HoopsandEverything · 09/12/2016 18:10

Unsafe or uneasy position that should say in my previous post - not just unsafe.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/12/2016 18:10

Do you have a mental health team OP? They'll refer you. Or your GP will. It only takes a minute or so.

I wasn't judging; by the way, I hope it didn't come across like that. I have MH issues too and I was a bit worried that might impact on your relationship with BF. I've certainly tried to buy people's interest before, and not let on how poor I was because I didn't want to let partners down.

It'll get better. Post back with what you get from the bank and we'll help you plan meals? And Asda should have some things to pad it out.

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 09/12/2016 18:10

If I ever turn into the kind of person who says you don't deserve food because you went on holiday last month and miscalculated please shoot me in the head.

This times a million.

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 09/12/2016 18:11

Go to the food bank and ask. Some require a referral others don't. Those that do will know which local churches can help out.

HeddaGabbler · 09/12/2016 18:11

OP food banks are not just for pensioners and families; if you are struggling then please get a referral. You don't say in your post if you rent privately or through an HA/council but if it's the latter your housing officer should be able to signpost you to some support.

Do you have any belongings you could sell on eBay as buy it now or on a Facebook selling group? That could make you some cash quickly. In my experience people buy anything off eBay for the right price, even half used makeup if it's a good brand.

Electrolens · 09/12/2016 18:11

OP good to hear your health is improving. I understand why you don't want to share your predicament with family. Sorry you made a mistake with the holiday.

Find out who refers for your local food bank and get a referral. What are your plans for Christmas?

ALittleMop · 09/12/2016 18:12

OP, you've been imprudent and a little short-sighted.

As have many of us in our time

Go and get a referral, don't go hungry.

Ginkypig · 09/12/2016 18:12

Food banks are a last resort.

It sounds like you have messed up a little bit because you thought wrongly that a job was lined up and as a one off you are probably eligible for it.

Your not saying you want to use them all the time or see them as a get out. Your just in a panic because suddenly you don't have the money to pay your bills and eat so your looking for advice.

I don't know your relationships but reading between the lines you don't seem to think they are safe or secure enough for you to make yourself vunrable. That's probab because there is more going on in them than we know I'm sure.

Get a referral for a food bank if you are eligible they will let you use it. we can't tell you because we don't know any more than what you've said in your posts but the people who refer you will know the whole story as part of the referral so they will be the ones to decide

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2016 18:14

Ask for a referral to a Food Bank. If you meet the criteria for one then they will help you.

Once you get through this rough patch you can look at your finances and see if there is anything you can do to put a safety net in place.
Beware of payday loans unless you are absolutely sure you will have the cash to repay them on the due date.

VickyMirdle · 09/12/2016 18:15

OP, if you can't ask your loved ones, first port of call, have a look on the Money saving expert forums, such as the debt free wannabe challenge section... things like earning 10 a day online, hunting out till spit vouchers etc; Up Your Income; grocery shopping tips etc.

Go shopping on Sunday afternoon for reduced bargains, go about 2:30 to 3:00 and hang around for half an hour or so... so many things reduced to around 10p. Check for the freezer symbol that you can freeze extra items you won't eat that day or following day. Tesco/Morrisons/Sainsburys all good.

How much money do you have to play with? can you get the following...

Giant sack of spuds, £3.50 at Lidl
Big bag of red lentils
Big bag of onions
Big bag of value carrots
Value spaghetti, 20p ish
Porridge oats
Milk powder
Pot of value curry powder/mixed herbs
Tins of tomato/coconut milk, 33p/79p at Lidl
1kg value rice, around 40p at all main supermarkets
Offal... it is an acquired taste, but nutritious and seriously cheap... 32p for 250g of lambs liver today. Heart is less offal-y.

toptoe · 09/12/2016 18:16

Your income unexpectedly fell through. You don't have enough for food. You are too embarassed/can't ask for help. Foodbank is def an option. But forgo holidays until you save up a buffer in future.

counttotwenty · 09/12/2016 18:17

How much money do you actually have? Can you scrape together £10 or £20? Do you have supermarket clubcard points you can use? What bills do you have left to pay this month?

toptoe · 09/12/2016 18:17

Just to add I donate and I'd give to you as you lost your expected income.

Bluntness100 · 09/12/2016 18:18

I'd also agree that you should see if you can get some temp work, even if it's just very basic. Go to the job centre, I'm sure you'll find something at this time of year. That should be enough to see you through the next two months till the new job starts.

I think the way I read your statement you paid for your boyfriend to go on holiday with you? Is this why you can't ask him for money? He also doesn't have any?

80sMum · 09/12/2016 18:20

OP, would it be possible for you to find a job, albeit a temporary one, to fill the gap between now and February? I don't know where you live, of course, but where I am (South East) there are always vacancies for care workers, cleaners, delivery drivers, deliverers of freebie newspapers, that sort of thing. There might be something that you could do, then it would boost your finances till your other job starts.

If you really do have no money for food, then yes a food bank looks like a good option for you right now. Good luck. I hope that things improve for you very soon.

caringcarer · 09/12/2016 18:25

Buy porridge and milk as very cheap and filling. Buy a few veg and make veg soup. Have you really no friends who would invite you for or buy you a meal?
Go to food bank and tell them you have been silly but are now actually hungry.

Justaboy · 09/12/2016 18:25

OK lets see.

NoseAboveWater is it seems self employed from the look of it she has had MH issues in the past be it seems to me shes doing her damnedest to fight back and recover, kudos to her for trying.

OK she went on a holiday and that cost a few hundred probably not the wisest move but as she says she thought that work would be there but now its not hence the present hiatus. I can understand why she doesn't want to ask her mum for help as sadly it seems her mum resents or can't understand her MH issues they sometimes can be difficult to cope with to an outsider bin there seen it with an ex now late wife.

That's a bloody shame, if one of my DD's came to me then sure if there was a good reason then I'd help them out OK they might just get a little lecture bit of guidance for their own good maybe but I'd never see them starve not my own offspring.

Borrow from the BF?, well if i was that BF yes i''d sub her but but that's a very difficult thing to do and it does seem the OP has a sense of pride in herself and doesn't want to ask.

As the food bank are they not like a bank where you take a loan of grub then pay it back?. What's wrong with that? OK maybe they don't keep ledgers as such but I'm sure the OP has a conscience and would repay it when she could

The issues re Sky TV Fibre broadband and the iphone etc well maybe you can do without lining Murdoch pockets after all what is there that's worth having that's not on free-view anyway? Broadband is getting the be a necessary these days in an online world and the phone?, I've got decent smartfone no Apple thanks here SIM for 16 quid a month cheaper than a land-line and who can't do without modern comms especially if your looking for work?.

No OP, go to the food bank get a referral and put back what you take seems to me the best idea if that doesn't work then tell us here.

ComputerUserNumptyTwit · 09/12/2016 18:26

I don't have anything helpful to add really. Was going to suggest selling stuff on FB but that doesn't seem to be an option. I'm just bloody pleased that so many posters came on to challenge the outrageous assertion that food banks are for families. Because single people without kids should just go fucking starve Hmm

Tarla · 09/12/2016 18:29

OP, ignore the judgement and see your GP/Jobcentre/Citizens Advice to get a referral. You need to eat. Simple as that. Is there a church near you? They may be able to offer support. Also ask some local fruit/veg wholesalers of they can help, our local one helped out a lady recently in return for two hours of helping out in the shop he gave her a sack of potatoes, a carrier bag of mixed veg and a carrier bag of fruit. The butcher shop next door (owned by the same family) did the same and gave her food in return for a couple of hours of work.

Situations change, sometimes overnight, and a holiday one week is no guarantee that you won't be skint the next. And to everyone saying get a temp job, you don't get paid instantly so even though it would be a good idea to take a temp job it isn't going to give the OP money or food for at least a week or two depending on when the first pay day is.

NicknameUsed · 09/12/2016 18:29

It sounds like your friends and family do care about you if they worry about you. There is nothing wrong with that.

If I knew that one of my friends or a member of the family was going hungry for lack of cash I wouldn't lecture them I would just feed them. And if I knew that my daughter felt that she couldn't ask for help when she was in the circumstances you describe I would feel that I had failed her.

Please don't discount your friends and other family members as a source of support.

51howdidthathappen · 09/12/2016 18:30

Can you go to your local church ? I know a single woman, that often has had to use the their food bank. She does work, but hours do fluctuate, and she has ill health. It's the only way she has kept a roof over head.

Thinnestofthinice · 09/12/2016 18:34

If someone is desperate enough to use a food bank, then they are desperately in need. No one uses them to get a freebie or for shits and giggles. I would be willing to bet a lot of the people who are queuing to use food banks have made unwise life decisions are made crappy financial decisions- no-one who donates would judge this. Hunger is hunger and poor is poor... sorry you are getting this shit OP

AppleAndBlackberry · 09/12/2016 18:35

Please do use the food bank. You won't be the only person who needs to because they have budgeted badly and you can always pay it back when times are better.

PandoNoPants · 09/12/2016 18:36

Have a look at the food banks in your area, or Salvation Army. When you get back on your feet in Feb (?) I'm sure you can donate some food back or something.

Sort the food issue first and then see if there are any seasonal jobs going anywhere. Bars/pubs/shops. Just something to fill the gap.

I'm trying to think of solutions (having been there once myself). Are you allowed to put food requests on Freegle/Freecycle..or maybe even Reddit? See if anyone is willing to sort you out with some emergency food? I know I would help you.

Which part of the country are you in btw (if you are comfortable in saying)?

I hope things improve for you x

harderandharder2breathe · 09/12/2016 18:36

Of course food banks are for single people too but they should be a last resort

You have family who would help (even if they would worry I'm sure they'd rather help than have you go hungry) and considering you've given your bf a free holiday I would expect you to ask him to lend you a few quid for basic food.

So I do think you should ask family and bf rather than go to a food bank I'm afraid

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