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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 10/12/2016 22:28

IF you can't afford to buy food and eat then that's what food banks are for

You said you have mh issues so assume you have someone you see. Ask them or go for a referral and as and when back on feet then donate food back.

If you are on a local FB group page then I always see people asking for cleaners to join their agency often cash in hand

OR state you are happy to do any ironing cleaning dog walking etc to earn some extra cash

I can understand why you don't want to ask your family due to mh issues

But

If you could go away with your BF and spent 24hrs a day with him and no doubt in a sexual relationship with him then you should be able ask him for a small loan

If he says no then he isn't the man for you to be with

ANd if you put your area then sure many on here will happily give you a bag of food. i would - so if you live in Kent message me and I will meet you somewhere

Justaboy · 11/12/2016 15:19

I suppose someone will eventualy suggest that if shes that hungry to go and pinch some food from someone and then get arrested and then at least your be fed in the nick;!.

Pawn gold and payday loans anyone do any better?.

If your still around Nose above water?. If you are got anything sorted out as yet?.

Or i suspect your appalled by some peoples attitudes and have given up reading;(

hefzi · 11/12/2016 17:38

creaky and hoops: I most certainly wasn't advocating it as a solution - not least because I myself lost all my jewellery through pawning and being unable to redeem it, in the days before payday loans and food banks, when I was seriously in the gutter (literally, in the end). It was another alternative to selling her items - and though I made my post way back after OP 's first post - and when she was still posting (and before some of her later posts revealed other info) - but for some reason, it only went through last night Hmm (This was when people were suggesting door stop lenders etc)

I am well aware that people should go to food banks rather than take on debt at usurious rates:likewise, they're not just for the "deserving poor" but also for those who screw up financially, smoke, drink, take drugs, have Sky etc etc They're there to provide a safety net to try to avoid people going hungry - and anyone desperate enough to ask for a referral is more than entitled to use them.

hefzi · 11/12/2016 17:42

Oh-and when I originally posted, there were plenty of posts slamming the OP, but none yet saying she should get herself to the food bank proto. (I realise that, as my post is showing only as last night, it's now been superseded - but I'm evidently feeling touchy at being jumped on. No other explanation for feeling so defensive at being misunderstood.)

OnionKnight · 11/12/2016 17:53

Some of the posts ITT are really horrible and sneery, the same goes to the 'get a temp job, you'll be paid by the end of the week' posts.

The OP needs help NOW, not in a few weeks time.

I do not think that she'd be turned away from a food bank.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 11/12/2016 18:08

hefzi, you shouldn't be afraid to post against the tide. I never am and I get heckled quite a bit for it. You just never know when your post with kindness in it is the one that the OP sees amongst a plethora of bandwagon mean/thoughtless posts.

I'm sorry that you've also had bad times in your life and I understand where your pawn post came from but it just isn't the right thing for somebody who is already struggling. I get the impression that your bad time was quite a time ago, before the fairly recent advent of food banks? If so, I'm sorry that they weren't available for you when you needed them. Thanks

hefzi · 11/12/2016 18:57

Lying what a lovely, kind post - thank you Flowers :very much appreciated - I have no idea why I m being such a wuss atm!

No, you're absolutely right: it's really not a solution at all, especially for someone already struggling financially.
I know a PP mentioned credit unions: the one nearest to where I live will lend you up to £300 if you don't have savings with them, and there's no credit check. I wish more people knew about them rather than being stitched up by Brighthouse etc

malificent7 · 11/12/2016 19:20

I would try to buy the following basics (value brands only):
Lidl spaghetti- about 25p
Lidl penne -about 25p
Lidl porridge oats-34 p
Lidl sliced bread-45p
tinned peaches and/or pears
Pudding rice
milk (UHT perhaps)
Lidl rice-40p
Lidl plain and or self raising flour-45p
red lentils
Cous cous
baked beans etc

See if you can be creative and stretch this out
(I'm going to do this!)

creakyknees13 · 11/12/2016 19:31

hefzi thanks for your post and i am sorry if I was a little harsh.

However, £20 interest a month on a £100 loan is WORSE than selling items- it really is. It pushes people into a cycle of debt that can be impossible to get out of. The pawnbrokers don't want to help anyone- they are unscrupulous toads who feed off the desperation of poor people. Anything, including selling, is better than going to them or the payday loan people. I have seen people get pulled into the cycle of debt and I just couldn't understand how someone who worked at a food bank would recommend them.

I can tell that your intentions are good though and you are doing amazing work, volunteering at the food bank.

Garnelian · 11/12/2016 19:59

Maybe when you've got more disposable income - but setting up an eBay and PayPal account and putting a few things on Buy It Now is quite a good way to make some quick extra cash. If you make sure the buyer has to pay immediately you can immediately transfer the money into your bank account. I've often made the odd £30 here and there which is a great help.

MixedUpConfusion · 11/12/2016 20:47

OP, I'll lend you some money. Pay me back when you can, no rush

YelloDraw · 11/12/2016 20:50

The OP needs help NOW, not in a few weeks time

Actually she doesn't. She has enough for the next two weeks per her posts.

noeffingidea · 11/12/2016 23:35

I've used pawnbrokers in the past, I don't consider that necessarily bad advice. They are useful if you need cash in hand. You get plenty of time to redeem the items, as long as you use a traditional pawnbroker (where you get 3 months to redeem/pay interest) as opposed to a chequecasher where you have to pay interest monthly and it works out much more expensive.
That would be my first course of action if I was in that position (and I have been many times in the past). I've also sold gold jewellery to tide me over.I don't know what the price of gold is right now but I did very well.
I'm not saying the OP should do this (she may not even have any jewellry to sell) but it would be my first choice, because I preferred having cash to choose my own shopping, as well as pay for other things such as electric.

noeffingidea · 11/12/2016 23:52

And you don't get into a 'spiral of debt' through using a pawnbroker. If you can't pay then you lose the item and there is no further debt. Nor does it affect your credit rating. It's between the pawnbroker and the customer.

RedNailsAndRedDress · 12/12/2016 09:02

ellamoromou, no, in fact my advice wasn't "rubbish". It's true although it doesn't fit the rhetoric espoused on here. If OP went to a temp agency today, she could be in work by Wednesday, submit three days of time sheets on Friday and be paid next Friday. I've done it. My friends and family have done it. There is no reason for OP not to be working until next February.

Tarla · 12/12/2016 10:01

And you don't get into a 'spiral of debt' through using a pawnbroker. If you can't pay then you lose the item and there is no further debt. Nor does it affect your credit rating. It's between the pawnbroker and the customer.

Unless you pawn an item thinking you'll be able to get it back in a couple of weeks only when you go to get it back, the fees are more than you expected or something comes up in the meantime and you don't have enough money left to get it out. Time is ticking away so you get a payday loan to enable you to get your item back. This leaves you short the following month so then you need to pawn something else or get another loan to pay back that pay day loan. After that you can't get another because you can't afford the repayments so the electricity bill goes unpaid because it's a choice between that and the rent. The next month it's a choice between rent and food.

But no, no, you're right. Pawning items is a foolproof plan that couldn't possibly lead to further financial difficulty

Delfy · 12/12/2016 11:17

OP, How much money do you think you'd need for food? Also do you have a PayPal account?
I've been in a similar situation before and am now more financially secure. I'd like to help you out with some cash.

GlitterGlue · 12/12/2016 12:24

Please don't offer cash. It encourages scammers. Perhaps make a donation to the food bank instead?

GlitterGlue · 12/12/2016 12:25

(I'm not suggesting the op is a scammer.)

MNHQ
LornaMumsnet · 12/12/2016 12:35

Hi all,

Sorry to wade in again.

Do take a look at our earlier comment here.

Flowers
creakyknees13 · 12/12/2016 12:37

And you don't get into a 'spiral of debt' through using a pawnbroker. If you can't pay then you lose the item and there is no further debt. Nor does it affect your credit rating. It's between the pawnbroker and the customer

In that case, why don't you just sell the item rather than borrowing money at a hideous interest rate? Pawnbrokers know that people are desperate and do not want to lose the item pawned. They also offer a loan that it less than the value of the item, so you will lose out either way. £20 interest per month on £100 is not much better than the payday lenders.

TwoGunslingers · 12/12/2016 12:53

If you contact your mortgage provider they can often arrange a payment holiday if you've been good at paying up until now. So you can take a break from payments this month and use that money to live on. Otherwise I don't see that there's any harm in going to a food bank. I donate to the food bank each week and am happy that it goes to anyone who needs it.

HunterofStars · 12/12/2016 13:06

OP, please go to the Food Bank. You are in need. You can always donate food when you're back on your feet again. I really cannot believe that in a first-world country we have people going hungry at Christmas Angry and some of the posts on here have also angered me. I have worked with a single person with MH problems who had a seasonal job and the Job Centre screwed up their benefits and left them with no money for months on end. Are people really suggesting that someone should not eat during that time? I've also found out a friend has been sanctioned for not filling in a form correctly and now has money to buy her family presents. Christ alive, even prisoners get to eat.

creakyknees13 · 12/12/2016 13:06

If you contact your mortgage provider they can often arrange a payment holiday if you've been good at paying up until now. So you can take a break from payments this month and use that money to live on

I am guessing she does not have a mortgage (like most people on NMW/in insecure work). She has mentioned rent in her OP as well. Also, even if people who need food banks did have a mortgage, chances are that they won't have been 'good at paying'. Mortgage companies won't generally agree a mortgage holiday if they find out you have no money, no job and are starving.

TwoGunslingers · 12/12/2016 15:29

Sorry I had read something to say OP was planning on paying the mortgage payment and essential bills. Must have got the wrong end of the stick, but also nothing to indicate OP has been bad at paying stuff up until now.