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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 09/12/2016 17:34

Martin Lewis advises you have 3 months worth of savings. This should be your priority before holidays

Good for Martin Lewis. Those who are poor can't afford 3 months worth of savings

I'm lucky to have £8 worth of savings at the moment

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 09/12/2016 17:35

If you can't ask your boyfriend then I'd seriously question the relationship.

Soubriquet · 09/12/2016 17:36

If you really can't ask anyone.. And that's sad, you should see if you can get a referral.

Im not close to my mum anymore but even she wouldn't begrudge me £20 for food

ilovesooty · 09/12/2016 17:36

So why can't you ask your boyfriend?

AnyFucker · 09/12/2016 17:36

It's just you, no kids ?

You are fit enough to work ?

Get a job, any job and stay away from food banks. They are designed for struggling families...not independent people who have other options.

HateMrTumble · 09/12/2016 17:36

Pasta is about £1 for a huge back- easily last you two weeks. Pack of own brand cereal is what.. £2 maybe for two weeks worth. I'm guessing you have taps? Drink plenty water, you won't die for two weeks on minimal food, I regularly go a week on only water, chicken and some veg and survive.

HateMrTumble · 09/12/2016 17:37

*pack obviously, not back

Fairenuff · 09/12/2016 17:37

If you can get by on so little then you only need to borrow £40 or so from your bf, why can't you do that?

RayofFuckingSunshine · 09/12/2016 17:37

If you have some income coming in in the form of that new job, just pay one of your none urgent bills late. That way you can actually, you know, survive.

LIZS · 09/12/2016 17:38

Who paid for the holiday and meals etc . Why can't you ask bf to help?

Allalonenow · 09/12/2016 17:39

Stretch your food to last two weeks instead of one.
Manage on noodles, porridge and potatoes for a short while.
If you are in a town with a sikh temple they often provide free food to all comers.

Chippednailvarnishing · 09/12/2016 17:40

If there's a Sikh temple near you they will probably feed you.

I am however finding your attitude rather Hmm

whyohwhy000 · 09/12/2016 17:40

Do you have anything not needed you can sell?

Chippednailvarnishing · 09/12/2016 17:40

X post!

Original poster
NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:40

I've said already I cannot explain the reasons I can't ask anyone.

I use Mumsnet as an anonymous sounding board for virtually everything, as I'm very lonely and don't have anyone else to ask a lot of the time.

OP posts:
OttilieKnackered · 09/12/2016 17:41

Sorry, Anyfucker, but who says they're only for families? Hungry is hungry (I'm talking generally here, not about the OP).

Whattocallbabyboy · 09/12/2016 17:41

Ok so you've made some poor decisions financially. In hindsight holiday wasn't best move if money tight or job security uncertain.

Its sad you have no support network you can be honest with.

However 40 lashings of mn judgement is neither helpful nor productive. Move on. Speak to foodbank.

Commit to paying it forward when situation permits and sort your budgeting priorities to prevent a repeat.

FantasticBeasts · 09/12/2016 17:41

I think that you should ask your Mum, despite her being really angry, food banks are a last resort for people who don't have anyone else that could possibly help them IMO.

Having said that I know of someone who uses food banks despite buying natural skincare/household products online (£££) and having a fibre connection.

IMO food banks are for people who simply cannot afford the basics in life, like food. Sky, fibre, mobiles and holidays are not life's basics.

One of the reasons I donate to the Salvation Army food bank and not the other one locally. SA look after the old people in my area, people who, in the main, wouldn't dream of having the non essentials in life and using a food bank.

Whattocallbabyboy · 09/12/2016 17:42

Having done referrals for foodbanks i can tell you it absolutely isn't just for families.

ilovesooty · 09/12/2016 17:42

It's perfectly acceptable for single people to access support from food banks. It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that some of them might need help.

I don't think the OP is the sort of vulnerable single person I have in mind though.

BratFarrarsPony · 09/12/2016 17:43

Food banks are not for single working people they are for struggling families and pensioners.
Ask your boyfriend for a lend til payday.

Lweji · 09/12/2016 17:43

This time of the year you could be going around supermarkets and other shops offering to work, yes. They usually take extra staff for Christmas.

But, as an emergency I don't see why you couldn't go to a food bank. Personally, I'd contribute back whatever you take when you are earning.

Or do ask family or bf. Why not?

On the savings, and Martin Lewis, obviously, he advises towards saving (to at least 3 months savings) before we think of spending on non-essential items, such as holidays.
Even if circumstances were different then, obviously, you didn't have that cushion, so I hope you are more careful in future.

I do think you should go around and take any job you can, even if it's stocking shelves.

Fairenuff · 09/12/2016 17:43

Why can't you ask your bf OP?

Original poster
NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:44

Christ ok I get it my attitude is bad! I just wasn't sure how much of a bad situation you had to be in before you could go! I've seen on here before people recommend making the mortgage payemnt and visiting a food bank, rather than buying food and being late with the mortgage,

I've already said I won't do it now. It was a desperate thought.

I paid for the holiday for a birthday present, spent £350 and took a risk with that becasue I thought I had work on the way.

OP posts:
RubbishMantra · 09/12/2016 17:44

Surely you're entitled to benefits such as JSA until you begin work in February? If you're in receipt of them already, you could apply for a crisis loan (if that's what they're still called).