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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 09/12/2016 17:45

Is there not any temporary work you can do at the moment?

OttilieKnackered · 09/12/2016 17:45

Also, families and pensioners are usually entitled to a variety of benefits if on a low income. Rarely so for (healthy) single people.

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/12/2016 17:45

Any boyfriend worth his salt would help you.

ilovesooty · 09/12/2016 17:47

Food banks are not just for struggling families and pensioners

What is a vulnerable single person who may have mental health issues or benefit sanctions to contend with supposed to do?

Not that the OP is in that category.

GloriaGaynor · 09/12/2016 17:48

I've just taken a donation to a food bank. You're welcome to my food.

If I ever turn into the kind of person who says you don't deserve food because you went on holiday last month and miscalculated please shoot me in the head.

The idea of the deserving and undeserving poor is Victorian shit.

I know what it's like to live with very tight money margins and make a mistake. If you live in London PM me you can have some of my food.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/12/2016 17:48

I don't think restaurants do throw out food - they tend to cook to order; then staff get first dibs. Round here there's a collection for anything storeable, and they destroy anything potentially unsafe by pouring bleach (I think it's bleach!) on it.

You'd need to see a GP to get a referral to a food bank, you'll get around three days food for a single person. You may be able to stretch it to five days, it wouldn't go much further.

I understand why you can't ask your mum, but why can't you talk to your BF? Has he pressurised you into the holiday? Are you presenting an untrue reality to him? If he'd loan you £25 for two weeks food, that'd sort you out. I'd do it for DP in a heartbeat.

If you can't do that, maybe foodbank for a week and hang around ASDA between 8 and closing for reductions? Theres a popular Facebook group of people living off £1 a day doing that; they seem to do great but you don't get much choice in meals I suppose.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 09/12/2016 17:49

My ex is single and was given food bank vouchers a few weeks ago, as his application for Universal Credit was delayed so you are absolutely entitled to use them - but I'm also certain you need a referral from JobcentrePlus, C.A.B or SS (or similar). Could you approach C.A.B and ask them if they can help?

ValaMalDoran · 09/12/2016 17:49

*It's just you, no kids ?

You are fit enough to work ?

Get a job, any job and stay away from food banks. They are designed for struggling families...not independent people who have other options.*

This. Temp work is around at this time of year. Go in shops or go to an agency. I also second that if you can go away with your boyfriend you should be able to explain that shit has hit the fan and could you borrow £20 for food...

Waffles80 · 09/12/2016 17:49

Some horrendously judgey posts on here. I'm appalled.

When did OP say she had sky and fibre optic broadband? Which poor people do you know have these FantasticBeasts, or did you just read and assimilate that hateful view after reading The Mail?

OP what food have you got in?

Original poster
NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:50

No I don't have a support network because I have very few friends. I cannot ask the couple of friends I do have, or family members, because I used to be very ill with mental health problems and they will either be worried and think I'm unwell again OR like my mum become aggressive to me. She hates that I have mental health problems.

I'm maanaging very well in comparison to how I used to be, so I will figure something out. I just can't have them know. I am ok I will work it out.

OP posts:
GruffaloPants · 09/12/2016 17:50

Agree try your local Sikh temple ( if you have one).

Sell something.

Seasonal work - bars, clubs, Christmas tree sellers.

Get onto cooking on a bootstrap and similar blogs/recipe sites.

Fwiw food banks are for single people too! But you may not qualify for a referral.

GruffaloPants · 09/12/2016 17:51

Well done on your recovery Flowers

NapQueen · 09/12/2016 17:51

Are you planning not to work at all til your Feb job?

ClashCityRocker · 09/12/2016 17:52

I used a food bank when I was single. I was living on £35 a week at the time and the jobcentre cocked up my income support so I had no money coming in for five weeks. Even on the £35 the food budget was about a tenner, so losing that money meant I ran out of food pretty quickly. This was twelve years ago before food banks were mainstream.

In fact my mum used one (single no dependants) just last year (although she could and should have asked one of us).

Food banks are not just for families. Anyone can fall on hard times.

Fairenuff · 09/12/2016 17:52

OP you are not giving any reason as to why you can't ask your bf. It gives the impression that it's not a great relationship to be in. A partner should be supportive and whilst he doesn't have to give you money, he should be willing to load you £20 for food, if he has it. What's going on really?

LIZS · 09/12/2016 17:53

So bf got a free holiday and spends but you cant ask him to lend you some back or to cook for you? He doesn't sound worth it.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2016 17:53

Are you visiting family for Christmas? That might cover a couple of days.

You have made a financial misjudgment but I wouldn't expect you to starve for it. Is there really noone you can ask? You can manage on very little money but it won't be fun.

bigredfireengine · 09/12/2016 17:53

The idea of the deserving and undeserving poor is Victorian shit.

Sadly very much alive on mumsnet- like the Roma big issue seller thread yesterday.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 09/12/2016 17:54

You have to time it right for the supermarkets, they each mark down things at different times. If you ring up and speak to customer services they should be able to tell you what the best time to shop for reduced stuff is.

Can you sell stuff? dvds, jewellery? Cash converters or facebook selling groups.

Have you bought xmas presents? can you take some back?

PrettySophisticated · 09/12/2016 17:54

The Salvation Army will help you without a referal

YelloDraw · 09/12/2016 17:54

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expatinscotland · 09/12/2016 17:54

They are not a grocery store. Most want a referral.

witsender · 09/12/2016 17:55

Tbh, I work for a Foodbank and we wouldn't bat an eye at you coming in. However of your local one is a Trussell Trust one like ours you will need a referral, so try the CAB or job centre etc.

Foodbanks are for crises like this. We have people pull up in flash cars because right at that moment, for whatever reason they can't support themselves. Which is what we are designed for, we are not long term support. Whether you went on holiday last month or not is irrelevant.

Original poster
NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:55

I don't present an untrue reality, I have been very frank about my situation with my partner just not the finer details that the money needs to go on bills.

I could probably borrow but I don't want to ask. Anyway it is ok I will figure it out.

OP posts:
YelloDraw · 09/12/2016 17:55

The idea of the deserving and undeserving poor is Victorian shit.

It isn't about deserving and undeserving. It is about helping yourself (sell things, get some pt work) or asking friends and family to step in, before using a bloody stretched resource (food bank) that other people need more.