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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
Shemozzle · 09/12/2016 23:22

I wouldn't object to you using one.

ssd · 09/12/2016 23:23

it takes time and luck to land a temporary job quickly, and get paid for it

try to get a referral to a foodbank op, you need it, it doesn't matter what you did last month, you need help now.

good luck Thanks

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2016 23:26

Finding even a temporary job, takes time, pay is not instant. Op needs to eat now, not in a months time. Use it op!

Gillybean76 · 09/12/2016 23:29

I know hindsight is 20:20 but surely if your financial situation was this precarious you shouldn't have gone on holiday?

Christmas happens every year, so it's not like you didn't see that coming. Sorry if that comes across as judgemental but no matter how tight things get, if I've got a spare fiver I stick it in the Christmas account.

ElizabethHoney · 09/12/2016 23:31

ElizabethHoney, you're another one who has just dropped into the thread hundreds of posts in. Have you read it? Picked up that OP has MH issues? Can't ask her boyfriend for money and isn't able to give further information on that? No, thought now.

I had read the entire thread up to that point when I wrote. I was a bit surprised just now to see the huge number of posts before mine which weren't there before. I'd got called away in the middle but not for all that long. I suspect there was some delay in my post going through.

I'd have responded partly differently if I'd known the details which were added later. Of course those were details which would have been best in the original post, since they're very relevant!

I'm so disgusted by some of these posters. Disgusted? Slight overreaction there. Even OP could see her case wasn't clear cut.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2016 23:32

-Gilly I am afraid you are coming across as judgemental. Mistakes happen, her circumstances have changed and she has found herself in this position. I hope that yiu never find yourself in that kind of position. How do you know she was not forced or coerced into paying for the holiday.

Gillybean76 · 09/12/2016 23:32

In spite of what I've just said, if you and yours are in dire straits and need to eat, that's what food banks are for.

If you need to do this for your family then go for it.

Gillybean76 · 09/12/2016 23:33

I admit, I jumped the gun, my apologies.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/12/2016 23:37

Thanks Gilly, Flowers. Op sounds like she is having it tough, she sounds like her relationship is not good, and she is in a very bad position, living hand to mouth.

ellamoromou · 09/12/2016 23:45

*I know hindsight is 20:20 but surely if your financial situation was this precarious you shouldn't have gone on holiday?

Christmas happens every year, so it's not like you didn't see that coming. Sorry if that comes across as judgemental but no matter how tight things get, if I've got a spare fiver I stick it in the Christmas account.*

And that's all well and good but what happens if you're life is so mundane, you have some money in a savings account, but you get the chance to go on a holiday. I for one couldn't blame someone for saying bugger it and taking the holiday and not think of the consequences.

I'm not saying this was the situation the OP was in, but I can certainly understand people whose life is so 'humdrum' that they spend what they shouldn't on a holiday etc just to take a break from the monotony of life.

chinam · 09/12/2016 23:54

Please go to the food bank. You need to eat. It's part of keeping yourself physically and mentally well.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 09/12/2016 23:58

Use the food bank. Pay it back when you are in work. Then no need to feel guilty.

DearMrDilkington · 10/12/2016 00:09

water did you get something sorted out?

itsbetterthanabox · 10/12/2016 00:36

Is it that you are embarrassed to ask your BF?
I can understand that but I think you need to be brave and do it.
Sadly lots of people need food banks and have no other options. If you do have other options it's best to at least try those first even if they may be awkward. I'm certain the people that care about you would be mortified to think you felt you couldn't even ask them or that you'd rather go without.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/12/2016 00:42

No YNBU. You just didn't think a head. You're not the first and nor will you be the last. However pps are correct you do have to be referred. You can't just show up there.
Comments like go the agency and get a job. Really make me laugh. The famous job tree.

Christmasmice · 10/12/2016 07:56

I'm another single person who at times in life has fallen through the cracks in life, though in a different way to the op. Single people can be immensely vulnerable and have much less access to support than those with children. It's a very lonely position to be in.

I can see why someone struggling might choose to be in denial and go off on holiday to cheer themselves up when it's really not the most sensible decision. But maybe that decision wouldn't have been made if they didn't have MH problems.

Op I hope your holiday gave you a boost and a break from daily life. I hope you will access the food bank. They're for everyone. You can always pay it forward in a few months when you're earning again.

caulkheaded · 10/12/2016 08:45

If you're near the midlands (or probably most big cities) there are agencies where you can sign up for waitressing work, and they will offer you work immediately. You're paid weekly. I'm doing that at the moment (alongside FT job) because I need extra cash. IME they will often feed you too!!

lougle · 10/12/2016 10:11

Do you know what, I never normally do this because I'm fully on board with MNHQ advice, but I'm so disappointed in the replies the OP has got by so many.

If you're in the South, I'll sort you out for food. Let me know.

As for the food bank - do it. It's what they're there for. One mistake doesn't mean you have to suffer forever.

YelloDraw · 10/12/2016 10:22

Comments like go the agency and get a job. Really make me laugh. The famous job tree

It's Christmas. Lots of places need temporary staff and many will pay in cash at the end of your shift. And the OP has 2 weeks of food left anyway so has 2 weeks to line something up. I'd be hitting all the local FB groups offering babysitting babysitting.

BratFarrarsPony · 10/12/2016 10:24

Lots of places need temporary staff and many will pay in cash at the end of your shift

well I must say I have never heard of that, ever. Where are these places exactly?

hefzi · 10/12/2016 10:33

Do you have any gold jewellery? If so, worth asking a pawnbroker - your loan is given to you in cash, and you pay that plus the interest when you redeem it, up to six months later. The interest on 100 quid is usually around £20 per month.

Be aware, though, you'll be offered below scrap value, as if you default they need to be able to sell it for at least what they lent you plus interest.

Fwiw, I volunteer at a food bank. You'd be welcome, as unlike MN, we don't judge.

MerylPeril · 10/12/2016 10:44

From what I know Xmas retail jobs are sorted from sept/oct - places are already busy!

From what I have read on here lots of food banks are throwing stuff away. They are probably well stocked this time of year.

Use them and replace when you are on your feet.

HoopsandEverything · 10/12/2016 10:48

Do you have any gold jewellery? If so, worth asking a pawnbroker - your loan is given to you in cash, and you pay that plus the interest when you redeem it, up to six months later. The interest on 100 quid is usually around £20 per month.

Stop being so blood ridiculous. There is no guarantee her next job will not fall through, advising her to pawn stuff or take out payday loans is utter bollocks and is likely to make the situation much worse. You can be hungry and still have possessions. You don't need to be sitting in a bare house to use a food bank.

OP - I hope you are filtering out the batshat responses from those that are talking sense. Please go see your GP for the voucher or DM someone where you are who has offered to help.

MissJSays · 10/12/2016 10:51

Supermarket bins aren't just stood there for people to go through. Items that cannot be sold are properly disposed of and then put into bins right around the back where the public can't get to them. That's how it was when I worked at Tesco and Sainsbury's, other places could be different. X

YelloDraw · 10/12/2016 10:54

Where are these places exactly
2x pubs that I walk past on the way to station both have a sign up saying looking for temporary xmas staff. One mini-mart has also got a sign up.