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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use a Food Bank if I also had a holiday last month?

392 replies

NoseAboveWater · 09/12/2016 17:20

Checked my account this week and it's not good. I've had a few job options not work out. I now have an offer for February for part time so I'm obviously very happy, however it is minimun wage and freelance so I feel cautious about taking on a payday loan just in case. Not eligible for proper loan from bank as no income right now.

I went on holiday with a new bf last month before things got so serious with my money situation. Part of me thinks I need to prioritize rent and bills I can just about pay until new job starts, if I don't really buy food for the second half of December - I have plenty of food for about a week. However, I should not have gone away so it's my own stupid fault and so really don't deserve any help from the Food Bank. I've been hanging around supermarkets late for a few days trying to get reduced items but not having much luck. Been looking online for information about getting thrown away food from restaurants at night, not found anything yet, but if anyone knows where I could get that that would be great?

I cannot ask family or friends and certainly not bf. Wwyd? No children btw it's only myself so no worry there.

OP posts:
SabineUndine · 09/12/2016 21:10

OP if you're in London or the southeast, I'd be happy to help too. Ignore the stupid judgmental idiots on here. Sometimes a holiday is very important for your health.

eddielizzard · 09/12/2016 21:11

please try and get a referral. it isn't up to anyone on here to decide.

when you start earning, donate back if you can. you should not go hungry. i'm sure you didn't purposely run out of cash, but these things do happen. try not to beat yourself up.

i donate to food banks, as i'm sure a lot of us on here do. we have to look after each other, and not judge. none of us are perfect.

witsender · 09/12/2016 21:14

Most people we see are with us due to benefit sanctions or mix ups, then low income full stop. So tbh, very little of what we see is poor financial planning and this is echoed across the entire Trust. It plays in to some very Victorian concepts to suggest that most people who use Foodbanks do so because they have messed up in some way.

MNHQ
LouMumsnet · 09/12/2016 21:15

Hi all. Thanks for the reports on this thread. While we have no reason to believe that the OP is anything but genuine - and in a dreadful situation right now - we do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone is who they say they are online. So do exercise caution. Please don't give more of yourselves to another poster than you can afford - whether that's financially or emotionally. And it goes without saying (but I'm going to say it anyway) that it's never a good idea to give out your location to someone online. All that considered, we really are awed by the incredible support that you lovely lot give each other on a daily basis.

ghostyslovesheets · 09/12/2016 21:17

Waggy doing good is nothing to be ashamed of - stop using is as an insult

OP go and get a referral - you are as entitled as anyone else to access food banks

The holiday really isn't an issue - you had it when you thought you had the money to cover it - shit happens to all of us x

ClopySow · 09/12/2016 21:18

My advice was to the OP's first post, before she later revealed she has MH issues

So your shitty advice still stands for people who don't have mental health issues?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2016 21:22

I appreciate the advice, LouMumsnet, I doubt that OP would PM me to give me a location because she has no idea who I am BUT, I just hope that the offer that I would drop off food for her (as have others) comforts her a bit and bolsters her enough to go to her local foodbank. MNers as a last (willing) resort... :)Thanks

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 09/12/2016 21:25

I've just donated as well - I would happily share my food with you. Nobody deserves to have no food.

Go to the Dr on Monday and ask for a referral. Don't overthink it.

Mrsbird311 · 09/12/2016 21:28

When I said a lot of our clients using the food bank due to bad financial planning I didn't mean it in a critical way, a lot of our clients suffer, drink, drug problems and or are otherwise unable to manage their cash, it's just how it is!! No judgement, if they need help than 3 parcels in a three month period we see if we can help them with a budgeting plan, cooking lessons, benefit advice etc it's a real problem

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2016 21:29

I just wanted to acknowledge AnyFucker for her apology to the OP. It takes character and balls to come back and apologise for a post. I always knew she was a good'un. :)

ragdoll700 · 09/12/2016 21:29

GloriaGaynor is spot on the rest of you are a bit bloody miserable and I hope yee never find yourselves in that situation it can happen very easily.

witsender · 09/12/2016 21:33

Indeed Lying. Smile

UnbornMortificado · 09/12/2016 21:36

YANBU

You've ended up with no income when you thought you would have some.

I donate to food banks (as an ordinary person who hasn't been abroad for 11 years) with the understanding it's to help any one in need not just families or pensioners.

Your not psychic and you need to eat.

GoneGirl1234 · 09/12/2016 21:39

There is an app called OLIO that shows individuals and restaurants etc that have food to give away, could be worth checking if out.

UnbornMortificado · 09/12/2016 21:41

I wasn't being arsey with that abroad comment Blush It was in regards to a comment up thread about food bank donators.

We don't have 3 months saving (or any) if DH got laid off we would be fucked. I'm fortunate to have supportive family but I do realise others don't and I consider myself very lucky in that respect.

Liiinoo · 09/12/2016 21:47

OP - you are hungry and don't have enough money to buy food. That is what food banks are for. Find out how to apply and take the help they can offer. You can pay it forward when your circumstances improve.

Some people on here are being very Victorian - you can only get help if you are the 'deserving poor'. I am willing to bet that every single one of them has made choices they have regretted in the past and it is pure, dumb luck that their choices did not put them in your position.

I hope you get what you need and have a happy Christmas Flowers

AcrossthePond55 · 09/12/2016 21:51

Go to the food bank. Honestly, that's what it's there for! You are as deserving as the next person. Just remember to 'pay it forward' when you're back in work and make a donation, even a small one.

Some of the responses I've read on here have almost had me in tears. We all need to remember that 'there but for the Grace of God (what- or whomever you conceive that to be) go we'.

TheMildManneredMilitant · 09/12/2016 21:53

OP - please go to the food bank. You shouldn't go hungry - no one should go hungry.
You've also inspired me to donate to my local food bank, and I'm glad to hear from those in the know that there should be no discriminating between those who 'deserve' it and those who don't. Everyone deserves to be able to eat, whatever their circumstances.

HoopsandEverything · 09/12/2016 21:54

Mental health difficulties don't really come into it, although they can in some cases be a contributing factor to the situation. If someone is needs help, and they are going to struggle to feed themselves, they should check out accessing a referral to a food bank. End of

OP - I've used one before (last year)- it was the best thing I could have done for myself because it not only ensured I had a few days food (the one I used gave me five), it also meant that for five days a shed load of anxiety was relieved as well. Actually, that anxiety was lessened for a couple of weeks beforehand as well as I knew before things got really, really critical that I had the voucher to use. The Foodbank staff were lovely, I had a cup of tea and a chat, and I also met other people who were using it too.

I will probably get flamed for saying that I've accessed one, but I just wanted to share that incase you are still reading it.

Featherhead · 09/12/2016 21:59

Yanbu op. Food banks are for those who need food and can't buy it, regardless of the reasons. Please visit one to tide yourself over.

And respect to AnyFucker

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 09/12/2016 21:59

You won't get flamed, Hoops, that post is just the thing that the OP should read so that she realises she's not alone.

As AcrossThePond said, 'There but for the grace of God...' goes any of us.

creakyknees13 · 09/12/2016 22:00

I just wanted to acknowledge AnyFucker for her apology to the OP. It takes character and balls to come back and apologise for a post. I always knew she was a good'un

Agree 100%

MrsPeppapig · 09/12/2016 22:04

Isn't it just delightful how so many posters give a shot because the op has MH issues.

In real life you're looked down on by near enough everyone if you have MH issues. There is a ridiculous amount of stigma surrounding MH.

Faux compassion, that's what it is. FML

Dozer · 09/12/2016 22:04

Go to the food bank.

MrsPeppapig · 09/12/2016 22:04

Give a SHIT not shot!!!!!!!