This is how I want to live in my retirement/if I found myself alone - AIBU?

[PacificDogwod]

They were in the news this morning

I had never heard of this group and know nothing about them specifically.

But surely the idea of living in larger groups while your privacy is also maintained, but with support of others around you is the way forward?
I do NOT expect nor want my DCs to care for me - if they want to be in contact with me, great, but I know I cannot make them and I would not wish them to feel obliged (I've seen my mother almost finished off by caring for my demented grandmother who lived to 101 ).

It's the idea of community that appeals.
That, and no men - they just complicate things!

What are your thoughts?

I agree with ZaZa

Can't see what's so special about it compared to any other well run retirement home.

diversity and equality welcomed - as long as you are female.

can you imagine the shrieks if the two letters 'fe' were removed from the above for an equivalent community?

sod that. Anywhere that discriminates on gender and isn't a toilet doesn't get my support.

can you imagine the shrieks if the two letters 'fe' were removed from the above for an equivalent community?

Not from me. I can see why women would want to live in female only spaces. I can see why men might want to - especially widow/ers.

Oh! It's not discrimination... as both genders have the same opportunity to do precisely what this group of women did.

I saw this in the guardian a few weeks ago, and it looked great.

I wouldn't object to male only

Quiet people would be good too.

The idea is very attractive to me. Not because I hate men!
Men tend to outlive their partners. How nice to have somewhere safe and supportive to live. Its not a retirement home. The women own or rent the properties.

I knew someone would start on with the 'what it was men' stuff. What if it was? I am pretty sure the same people who are supportive of older women choosing to live in a female environment would be supportive of older men choosing to live in a male one.

My main reservation about this community is that it is bound to be way beyond the means of many single older women. Its in Barnet. Barnet is very expensive. So even opening it up to renting won't help the majority.
Its great for those who can afford it (genuine) but sad that its not going to be an option for most.

The difference is that they own and run it themselves, collectively, as a community. I am well into it.

Most retirement homes/nursing homes end up being 99% women anyway, what with male/female life expectancy etc.

Potentially all the issues you see on MN with school gates/gossip/mean girls and Queen Bees but somewhere you live. Yikes. - Really? The patriarchy really did a number on whoever posted that.

I'd love it!
We have a co-housing scheme in my town and it's always rather appealed to me. Ours is for all members of the community though.

My Gran used to live somewhere like this, but her place allowed men.

Everyone had individual mini bungalows in private parkland, must have been about two hundred proper

Gghhh!

Must have been about two hundred properties in the parkland and then a large house, stately home size where they'd meet up in the evenings if they wanted to. There were also wardens on call so if someone fell over they could pull an emergency cord to alert the warden.

But once gran got too frail she couldn't stay. But while she was still quite independent it was great. She didn't always go to the evening stuff, no pressure to.

It's only a matter of time until a man with time on his hands and some financial backing announces he is a woman who just happens to like having balls and a beard and referring to himself as male, and if they won't let him move in he's going to sue...

I can't see the difference between this and Extra Care Housing. (except that Extra Care does not have gender/sex discrimination)

I can't see the difference between this and Extra Care Housing.confused (except that Extra Care does not have gender/sex discrimination)

Extra Care is a private company set up to make a profit.
This is co-housing - more like a co-operative, owned collactively and managed by the people who live there.

But once gran got too frail she couldn't stay I suppose that is the real problem, how best to address the needs of those who require more support than these types of communities can offer?

This is co-housing - more like a co-operative, owned collactively and managed by the people who live there
which sounds great and I'm all for it, although I suppose it's pretty similar to say a block of flats where the residents own and collectively manage the freehold?

I saw it this morning and wanted to move in immediately.

The women they interviewed were really impressive. I'd love to be like that in my 80's. My mum and her friends are like that - in their 80's, sharp as nails, assertive, thoughtful. though they're still as bitchy as schoolgirls

Extra Care is a private company set up to make a profit.

Some Extra Care is provided by profit-makers, some by not-for-profit charities. We have loads of new developments near us where the flats (with their own front doors) are owned by the residents and the communal facilities are managed by a charity.

The difference to both of those scenarios is its co-operative ethos. A group of people coming together as a community to collectively address their living needs.

Agree, shining with the point you made about people becoming frailer, and what happens then - though I imagine the theory is that people might stay more well, for longer in communities like this, than they might otherwise.

we could perhaps do with uncovering and mitigating the factors which lead to loss of the ability to live independently

then again any organisation which profits from caring for the elderly has a vested interest in them requiring care as soon as possible

I think Japan is struggling with these sorts of problems now, as will other countries where birth rates are falling

I'm amazed at the number of women so horrified at the thought of living with other women... because we're all.some homogenous hive mind who bitch and gossip while men are just so straight talking. (Rolls eyes.)

Women came up with this and made it happen, if they want it just women fait play to them. I'm sure if da menz were bothered they could organise one for themselves

Great discussion.

I can totally see how that concept could work for young people, people with a joint special interest (lots of petrol heads with garages/lockups as part of the accommodation , dog owners (with kennels) - or, yes, even men!

I agree with the 'halls' comment - it really suits some, and others hate it. Fair enough.
Also agree with the convent comment: I have said that more than once - if I am ever alone I will join a convent. Provided they'd take an atheist non-virgin.

Retirement flats can be very isolating IME - lots of closed doors of people keeping themselves to themselves.

My fit and healthy parents who are 70/72 have just moved into a retirement flats complex. They are "paying it forward" with the older residents by doing little jobs and shopping and plan to stay there until the end (or they need nursing care). My mum has volunteered with older people for a while now and they're both quite introverted but happy to have a 1-1 cuppa with each of their neighbours every so often.

This is going to be the next big thing in retirement care- many companies working on building and marketing them right now