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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I bought my council house...I feel horribly guilty and anxious

307 replies

RodMunch · 09/12/2016 10:49

I got it for less than half market value, we had a small deposit too so as a result our mortgage is miniscule. DH earns well and because of this, I don't really need to work. I have 3 dc, 2 at school and the littlest is 3. I do some voluntary work but mostly just stay at home with him.

We have had the house a year in January. I feel incredibly guilty seeing my friends suffer juggling jobs and childcare and stuff and paying loads out in rent / mortgage. The only reason we could TTC for dc3 was due to being in a council property so the rent was ok. It sucks and its unfair ...I don't deserve what I have...I got the house originally by the skin of my teeth 8 years ago as a single mum, no one gets houses now and I have taken another one away. and I am part of the unfairness and I don't like myself much for it :(

It sounds mad...I can't believe my luck but feel I don't deserve it. DH and I are happy and the DC want for nothing but I honestly feel like something is going to go horribly wrong for us as a sort of karma. Blush

I identify as left wing yet I feel like I have completely gone against my principles and profited massively from a Tory policy that has ruined council housing in this country.

OP posts:
JackShit · 09/12/2016 13:07

What you did was wrong OP

Manumission · 09/12/2016 13:09

Fox you are setting some kind of record for priggish self-righteousness. Can't you hear yourself? 😄

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 09/12/2016 13:10

Gloria I'm waiting for someone to come along and say, you know what, I had a council house, had the right to buy, had a family to look after, but no, I decided to stick to my principles, leave the house, double my rent, pay over £1000 a month to someone else's mortgage, live in a series of properties that aren't my own for six months at a time, unable to decorate how I want or have pets, have to move my kid's schools or jobs to where there's housing, and I did all that to benefit my country.

I'm waiting.

Foxysoxy01 · 09/12/2016 13:11

Gloria

Whats you point exactly?

You don't like my morals? They are different to yours and you feel intimidated?

I don't see how my posts are any different to a lot of others on here Hmm

I can only imagine your own opinions and morals reflect badly when compared to mine.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 13:11

Yes, I agree Gloria most folks live with some level of dissonance in our lives. The moral outrage here is really a bit silly given the other far more egregious injustices perpetrated in this society.

Lndnmummy · 09/12/2016 13:11

As someone who works my socks off just so that I can afford the mortgage on a tiny flat this hurts alot. We only have the one child and at nearly 40 we can not afford another. So yea, your post hurts

OnePotato2Potato · 09/12/2016 13:12

Well I don't get why you continued to stay in council housing after your DP moved in. He was working and earned enough for you to move out and rent elsewhere?

Now that is truly selfish and taking the piss!

I don't understand how the council never checks or takes into account these things.

And the reason it is wrong and why others like you know that is is wrong is because you are propped up by people like me and my husband who work hard to pay their rent/mortgage and not sponge off the government. (And my DH is an immigrant by the way who has worked to achieve something.)

I can't believe the number of people justifying it because "it's for their DC". The problem is the mentality in this country, people think they are owed everything, from a job, house, education to medical care. Just that the government should give it to you because you exist. Look around the world, no country gives as much to its population as the UK and still people feel they need to take advantage of poor policies "for the dc".

I see my elderly neighbours who have lived through ww2, who actually worked to achieve a decent lifestyle for their families and who are too proud to ask for anything from the government. And then there is this, "me, me, me, generation" who deserve everything without lifting a finger.

But don't worry OP, like most other posters, it's ok because everyone needs to look out for number 1, right?! Hmm

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 13:13

Foureyesarebetterthantwo

So you following your moral conscience to your own detriment doesn't really give you the impetus to judge others who don't follow suit. It just makes you look like a self-righteous twat.

MontePulciana · 09/12/2016 13:13

It's when they go on about their "left leaning" values after doing this though that people are shaking their head at. I know loads of people who bought their council houses. They were all broke though, single parent families, and none of them are lefties.

formerbabe · 09/12/2016 13:14

my parents bought a house in a London borough in the 70s for 30 grand. (Not a council house obviously). They just sold it for over £5 million. What's fair about that?

That's fine...they didn't take a home out of public ownership and deny anyone else a council property did they?

Purplebluebird · 09/12/2016 13:15

I think you took an opportunity that were given to you, and personally I would have done the same. Like others have suggested, donate to food banks for example, buy the magazines from those less fortunate, (and then give it back again, then they get to sell it again!).

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 13:15

Well I went after the wrong person. SORRY I'm sorry.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/12/2016 13:15

Foureyes
YY to your post. Security of tenure with a council or HA property is worth a lot to families. It would be madness to give that up without a good reason.

MontePulciana · 09/12/2016 13:16

Potato - couldn't agree more.

Also have an immigrant husband who can't believe how entitled folk are in the UK. I used to defend our welfare state but I can see why it's a laughing stock now.

EmeliaHerveyHenryFitzroy · 09/12/2016 13:16

Too much champagne too early in the day.

Please
Ignore my response to foureyes

chilipepper20 · 09/12/2016 13:18

The OP isn't to blame. It's the government.

That's fine...they didn't take a home out of public ownership and deny anyone else a council property did they?

They could have given the property to the government and allowed them to use it as a council house.

People should do what's best for their families, and securing a stable home is not immoral. It's the government that should be blamed for this crazy mess.

Foxysoxy01 · 09/12/2016 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Temporaryname137 · 09/12/2016 13:19

lol at this "I can only imagine your own opinions and morals reflect badly when compared to mine."

I think perhaps it's your morals that you are imagining, and expecting everyone else to buy it!

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 09/12/2016 13:21

Emelia don't worry, I'm a self-righteous twat in other ways.

I don't think people understand what it's like in the private rented sector in terms of instability and short term contracts. I am awake at night worrying our landlord will sell. It is extremely hard to get new houses, you can't take pets with you, and often landlords prefer students where they can squash them in like sardines rather than a family who will need the living room. I hate it, and pay more than half my income on rent/council tax a month. I wouldn't actively chose this life for my family if I had a choice. Buying means she benefits from the very low interest rate currently enjoyed by mortgage holders. Lucky them and lucky her.

chilipepper20 · 09/12/2016 13:22

But don't worry OP, like most other posters, it's ok because everyone needs to look out for number 1, right?!

The problem with moving out of council housing once you have the means, is that private rent, especially in London, in out of control. You would take a massive hit, and likely have a lower standard of living. It's not the me attitude that's the problem, it's this strange lottery system we have here.

Foxysoxy01 · 09/12/2016 13:23

Yes your right of course I am imagining my indignation at the OP taking social housing away from someone else and care very much that random people on the internet 'buy it'

chilipepper20 · 09/12/2016 13:24

I don't think people understand what it's like in the private rented sector in terms of instability and short term contracts. I am awake at night worrying our landlord will sell.

it's horrible. But what seems odd to me in this country is the answer is more council housing, rather than better protections for tenants. I see close to 0 political will or push for better tenants rights. One of these is a solution that will take years to implement. The other can be done at the stroke of a pen, we just need the political will for it.

Manumission · 09/12/2016 13:28

I can't help it foxy. You're trying so very hard to be so damn condescending to other posters yourself. But it's all just coming over a bit nasal and ridiculous. It gave me a good chuckle anyway Grin

Temporaryname137 · 09/12/2016 13:28

chilipepper20 - they tried that with the "rent act". it wasn't great for the housing market! a rent act tenant can devalue the property by up to 50% even now. if landlords thought that their tenants would get very secure rights, fixed rents etc, lots of people wouldn't let their houses.

I think one answer could lie in encouraging industry in other parts of the country so that people spread out a bit more rather than all bunching up in the SE. not an overnight fix though, unfortunately.

specialsubject · 09/12/2016 13:29

Very few would have done otherwise, and you would have been daft not to really. You have done nothing wrong and I challenge anyone in your position to say honestly that they would not have done it.

What you need to recognise is that you are the proverbial champagne socialist and stop going on about your sacred left wing principles.

You will find it easier once you are honest with yourself.

Social conscience? No more kids (planet is full) minimise waste, help others.