Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

partner on office christmas booze up

87 replies

Sunflower999 · 08/12/2016 21:05

Would welcome your thoughts on this one: partner is currently out on work christmas party. We have a two year old and a 19 week old baby. I don't object to him going out for the evening however rather than coming home or staying at my parent's house he has booked himself into the Hilton for the night. He didn't want to stay with my parents (which would have been a short taxi ride to get back) in case I also stayed there with toddler and baby and he might have been disturbed in the night/asked to do something. He claims we discussed this which we definitely didn't. He mentioned it about a month or so ago and then we were probably distracted by toddler throwing something or something similar but I definitely didn't agree to it. He could have got a train and bus home or stayed at my parents, or I suppose booked a cheap room at the Travel Lodge but instead chose to stay at the Hilton so he can have a good nights sleep, nice breakfast and a jacuzzi in the morning before going into work (probably late). AIBU to object to this?

OP posts:

SheldonsSpot · 08/12/2016 21:08

I can't think of anything more hellish than going to stay at my In-Laws after a work night out.

Once a year, he's not choosing staying at the Hilton over putting food on the table? YABU.

bigredfireengine · 08/12/2016 21:08

You don't mind a travel lodge but do mind a Hilton?

Is it a money based objection?

I don't quite understand which bit of the scenario you are unhappy with?

Believeitornot · 08/12/2016 21:09

If you can afford the Hilton what's the big deal?

And there's no way in hell I'd stay at the inlaws after a night out

PNGirl · 08/12/2016 21:10

What's the issue?

My MIL is teetotal. The thought of me turning up as my I-love-everyone drunk self on her doorstep at midnight brings me out in a sweat and I love my ILs!

lookatyourwatchnow · 08/12/2016 21:12

Haha to sleeping at the in laws after a piss up.

What's your problem, OP? I've looked for the issue. Can't see it.

rollonthesummer · 08/12/2016 21:12

There is no way I'd want to go to my in-laws late at night after I'd been out on the lash!!

AwfulSomething · 08/12/2016 21:12

YABU, it's one night...and who on earth would want to stay at in laws??? A hotel my preferred option.

Purpleprickles · 08/12/2016 21:13

OP am I right in thinking you feel "you get a night out, a good night sleep in a more expensive hotel, and breakfast with the jacuzzi option. I get broken sleep and looking after the kids!"? I get you, it's unreasonable but when you are on mat leave and doing the lion share of the parenting it's hard not to begrudge your dh having a break. With ds I was jealous of dh's commute because he got to read a book. Tiredness and being home with the baby all the time as much as you love them can drive you mad. Or is that just me?

However I'd be thankful he isn't rolling home drunk to you. My dh is on his way now doing exactly that so I'm in bed with the plan to be asleep. I have ds sleeping with me so he can go snore in the spare room.

Thisjustinno · 08/12/2016 21:17

I don't know. I can understand you feeling a bit resentful but would you want him to feel that way if you had the chance to have a good night's sleep and a nice breakfast?.

If he'd object to you doing that then I agree you should object.

NapQueen · 08/12/2016 21:19

What's the issue?

Could you get the grandparents to mind the dc and spend the night there with him? Jacuzzis for two in the morning and a lovely breakfast together.

NapQueen · 08/12/2016 21:20

Oh and hibu for picking a Hilton over a Marriott.

Lazyafternoon · 08/12/2016 21:21

I can understand your pissed off as you didn't actually agree to it. But I can definitely see why he's done it and my DHL would do the same. I agree with others have said that staying with IL after work night out would be horrible. Both the coming in drunk and facing them in the morning hungover!

So he owes you big time. Spend this evening researching YOUR treat. Depending if you can leave your baby with anyone you could book an indulgent massage, a spa day, a spa hotel, a night out with friends etc etc...

RebelRogue · 08/12/2016 21:21

Is the money spent the issue? Or the fact that he's getting a really nice night and morning out if it?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 08/12/2016 21:22

Yabu.

Who would want to arrive even a little tipsy at their pil?

What's the price difference between travel lodge and Hilton?

Lazyafternoon · 08/12/2016 21:22

*DHL? - DH

BolivarAtasco · 08/12/2016 21:22

Fucking hell, I think I'd rather sleep in my car than stay at mil's after an office party.

Unless you're talking about a difference of £ vs £££ in staying at the Hilton and you're on the breadline, just let him get on with it.

milkshakeandmonstermunch · 08/12/2016 21:24

YABU.

bloodyteenagers · 08/12/2016 21:25

How inconsiderate. Not wanting to either keep the pils up late or wake them at silly o'clock so he could get in.

Original poster

Sunflower999 · 08/12/2016 21:26

Inlaws are lovely! He gets on really well with him and they're very easy going (he would agree with that). They would offer him more drink and crisps and they'd probably have another drink with them too. He just thought I might stay there as well and then if toddler and baby both woke up at the same time or early, he might have to get out of bed.
My objection is we don't have loads of cash to shell out on a night at the Hilton and he doesn't offer to take me/us there, now or in the future, and we didn't discuss it! And yes the likelihood of me getting any kind of break any time soon is zero! I'm not complaining about that as can't really expect it with two little ones.

OP posts:

PaulAnkaTheDog · 08/12/2016 21:27

I'm sorry, you begrudge him a good night's sleep?! Wow! Yabu. Loosen your grip, give the guy a break. Why the fuck would he want to go stay with his in-laws after a pissup?!

Redglitter · 08/12/2016 21:30

My nearest HIlton is £3 dearer than the premier Inn so I wouldn't necessarily use the cost as a reason to object.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 08/12/2016 21:31

Why are you referring to your parent's as the in laws when you're talking about them? Your second post is worded strangely.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 08/12/2016 21:31

It's Thursday night - Hilton's tend to be pretty cheap mid-week; especially booked in advance.

I can't think of anywhere I'd want to be less than at the in-laws after a night out, really.

It's fairly standard to mostly go back to a hotel after a Christmas night out, have breakfast, then go to work a bit later. It's almost a perk after suffering the party!

I can only imagine that you're feeling a bit bitter that he's off having fun and you're stuck with the baby and the toddler, which is understandable, but stopping him having fun isn't the answer - you'll both be a bit miserable then! As always, it's a matter of trying to balance things so you feel like you're having fun, too. Can you take a few hours to yourself and do something this weekend? Is he generally helpful?

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 08/12/2016 21:32

Yea nah. YABU. Lay off, he wants a good night out!! If you want a break, sort it for yourself, don't be so childish as to ruin his night!

NoMudNoLotus · 08/12/2016 21:34

I'm clearly in the minority OP but this would piss me off.

Also there's no way my DH would even begin to try and justify spending that amount of money on himself ... He would rather we both benefitted .

Also with 2 young children he never put me in the position of having them all night & in the morning , so he could solely benefit.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread