partner on office christmas booze up

[Sunflower999]

Would welcome your thoughts on this one: partner is currently out on work christmas party. We have a two year old and a 19 week old baby. I don't object to him going out for the evening however rather than coming home or staying at my parent's house he has booked himself into the Hilton for the night. He didn't want to stay with my parents (which would have been a short taxi ride to get back) in case I also stayed there with toddler and baby and he might have been disturbed in the night/asked to do something. He claims we discussed this which we definitely didn't. He mentioned it about a month or so ago and then we were probably distracted by toddler throwing something or something similar but I definitely didn't agree to it. He could have got a train and bus home or stayed at my parents, or I suppose booked a cheap room at the Travel Lodge but instead chose to stay at the Hilton so he can have a good nights sleep, nice breakfast and a jacuzzi in the morning before going into work (probably late). AIBU to object to this?

Oh God I'd love it if my DP stayed in a hotel rather than coming home and waking me up! I am always telling him to stay out all night if he can. I think YABU.

I don't get the whole questioning his motives for booking a hotel thing. Last thing i want is to have oh come in pissed at stupid o'clock,faff about,make noise,want cuddles and even worse getting sick. If he's going out to drink the choices are Don't stay up too late or spend the night somewhere else. Sometimes he won't go at all,sometimes he'd be back by 11 just tipsy and sometimes(twice in 8 years) he spent the night somewhere else.

YABVU.

PIL or the Hilton??? A real toughie that one

Nice gesture but, a lot of people's idea of hell

I find the responses to the thread a bit bizarre - a couple of weeks back someone posted that her OH had gone on a work do and instead of coming home at the original time of 6ish he texted to say he was staying out a bit later. He then arrived home about 10pm - so not really that late. There was outrage that he had dared stay out past the agreed time & lots of comments about how he was an awful partner for staying out a bit later. This OP only had one child of school age - so not as bad as toddler and baby. He really was painted as a villain. Then this poster has OH who hasn't even made any effort to come home & not only that is spending money they don't really have on a naice hotel room. And the OP is being made to feel like she is being totally unreasonable. Such a mixed bunch.

If he's drunk I wouldn't want him to come back home, and who wants to turn up at the inlaws pissed as a fart?
He could have easily got a room at the Hilton for the same price as a travel lodge. You can get really cheap rooms if you book right.

I think the hotel sounds a better option. Make sure you get a night out and night away booked if you feel like one. It works both ways?

But holidaysaregreat, that was a different scenario (not that I saw the thread).

I don't get why people go on about the Hilton not necessarily being much more expensive than a TravelLodge. The point is that it's way more expensive than a free bed at home or at the PILs'.

YabVu unless you're on the breadline and then yes hotel seen as extravagant but I'd rather stay at a mates than come home after works night out. It's part of the fun staying out all night when you have responsibilities the other 364 nights of the year. I suggest you book your own ME time (girls night out then back to your parents perhaps). Nothing worse than being begrudged a night out (presuming you're a responsible working parent.

would u have turned up too? and stopped him getting a good nights sleep? that's the key question.
if u would have stayed at home and left him to it the yanbu.
if you would have gone there too then yabru.

I think the issue is the clear message between the lines of 'You might be having trouble coping with our children that night and I don't want to have to help you so I'll make sure that's absolutely not an option.'

Selfish as all hell.

I wouldn't consider myself on the breadline - can pay bills/food etc. but would struggle to find the money for a hotel room in the region of £70-80 in the run up to Christmas (on top of a night out/drinks etc) . The people commenting on here must be on a different budget as they don't see a hotel room as an extravagance.
maddie on the other thread the partner was a few hours later home than agreed and got no end of grief from all the posters. This OH has opted out all night & has made it clear he will be relaxing in the jacuzzi all morning. I just think it is double standards to make the OP feel bad.
I would personally be more than happy for my OH to go out and stay out - in fact wish he would go out more often! But would not be too happy with the hotel either mainly due to the cost. Equally I would not be able to afford a hotel for myself.