MIL and daughter's hat.

[doomf]

My MIL looks after my DD one day a week (Tuesday) and her other grand daughter one day a week (Wednesday).

I bought my daughter a lovely hat last year to go with a coat she had. The hat went missing at the end of last winter and I'd searched high and low for it it to no avail. Is asked MIL if she'd seen it and she swore blind she hadn't (I was pretty sure the last time she'd worn it was to her house). A few weeks ago I lamented to MIL that it was a shame id never found the hat as it would still have fit my DD this winter and she agreed.

Yesterday afternoon I'd taken a day off work and had gone into town with my DD only to run into my MIL and her other grand daughter...wearing the bloody hat!!!

AIBU to think that you just don't do that?!

At WORST it is arrogance, not best. Sigh.

Future scenario:
OP very cold on a high horse, right,but,everyone awkward and unhappy.

Little girl picking up on tension that will only escalate(why is mummy not coming?

The rift getting bigger and nobody really remembering why ,in the mists of time.

Granny explaining her version of what happened to all and sundry (not good,as she has proven to be a liar and manipulative sneaky thief)

Poor Daddy, who now really knows his Mother is deeply flawed and discussed by his wife's family ,friends and aquaintances .Embarrased,but he loves his Mother anyway.

You are shocked and angry OP(rightfully), but surely the ship should not go down for a ha'penny worth of tar?

The' hiding of valuables' comment is not worthy of you.

Gotthemoononastick is leaving this sad thread now(too over -invested in the soap opera)

Love a bit of projection and Illeism.

the claws

MIL said to start with that she couldn't find the hat, but later admitted that she had given it to the other girl. That is lying.

If the MIL had felt do strongly that the other girl needed a hat, she should have put her hand in her pocket and bought her one, not take something that isn't hers to give and pass it on to someone else.

And when found out, she could have put things right in any number of ways, but she chose to carry on down her path, not return the hat and blame the OP and her DH for being successful..........how is that right or normal?

Llama unfortunately without pictures to illustrate the situation, some posters flounder.

OP my only thought is that you need to be more open about finances you need to witter on how you're working so hard, have to work in the evening and even despite you recent promotion how you are struggling to make ends meet.

It wouldn't surprise me because you are more private MIL is just making HUGE assumptions that you are financially "comfortable" - we experienced this.

SIL has ALWAYS complained that she's "got no money" and spends all she as with no thought for the future - couldn't afford a holiday but still went on it rather than cancel [confuse] Meanwhile we saved up and went without stuff like new clothes, holidays, don't smoke/drink etc. We've had decades of "poor SIL" but fortunately MIL isn't crazy enough to try and make it "even" and does admit both she and SIL are a bit rubbish with money.

Some people are easily taken in and see what they want to, MIL has assumed you're "loaded". Doesn't excuse her awful behaviour though. I really hope that relationships aren't strained for too long.

FGS. Honestly. This is ridiculous on so many levels.

I've not read any of the thread, not even the OP as that will prejudice any advice I give. However, I am fully qualified to say you should go NC. Possibly.

I've read the full thread, and now have this as an earworm.

You're welcome.

And chippednailvarnish chips in with a bit of sneering at the odd one out too.

This isn't really a good look for MN - but I suppose women have being doing it for eons so why change now?

Is this a big enough picture for you claws now you've finished picking at the op?

Who are these officious RTFT policemen?How rude you all are...people can post what they like even if they have not read all the pearls of wisdom!
If you gather that they have not surely just skim over it.The OP I hope is able to discern for herself if someone has or not.!

And you can look like an egotistical twat by doing so. Your precious opinion just isn't that important, especially when it's reliant on ignorance.

Nice.

Damn you tuk

BTW, chipped' are you thirteen or something? This is really an adults' conversation.

claws

What would you have done in the same situation? Just allow your children's belongings to be given away?

Claws would have gotten a camera out to catalogue the hat, otherwise clearly without photographic evidence OP there never was a hat...

Surprised this isn't on the DailyFail yet

Ssh chipped! Adult conversation! doomf, I can only imagine I would have said something along the lines of "Oh! You found DD's hat! That's such a relief." No accusation. No burden on her. She could then just hand it back, or the girls could just switch hats no problem. Actually, why couldn't they just do that originally on the first day?

TheClaws are you sure you'd like an adult conversation? It's been explained a few times now, including the use of quite small words, and you don't seem to be getting it! MIL was unwilling to give the hat back - she went on to pretend it was lost again even after being caught out because she has some kind of bizarre Robin Hood thing going on. And also, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HAT!!

Ahh, yes, if you can't actually offer a rational case for insinuating that the OP is lying and then ridiculously demanding photographic evidence, start sshing other posters.

Claw's "advice is to be a doormat OP and enable your Mil, I personally would carry on doing what you are doing and ensure that your DD isn't played off against your Mil's favoured Grandchild.

YABU. After all MIL has done for you, you cause a fuss over a sodding hat that was probably misplaced? The way you spoke to her in town If I was your MIL I would be refusing to have your kids ever again, you've effectively ruined your relationship over a cunting hat that probably cost £1?