MIL and daughter's hat.

[doomf]

My MIL looks after my DD one day a week (Tuesday) and her other grand daughter one day a week (Wednesday).

I bought my daughter a lovely hat last year to go with a coat she had. The hat went missing at the end of last winter and I'd searched high and low for it it to no avail. Is asked MIL if she'd seen it and she swore blind she hadn't (I was pretty sure the last time she'd worn it was to her house). A few weeks ago I lamented to MIL that it was a shame id never found the hat as it would still have fit my DD this winter and she agreed.

Yesterday afternoon I'd taken a day off work and had gone into town with my DD only to run into my MIL and her other grand daughter...wearing the bloody hat!!!

AIBU to think that you just don't do that?!

Why on earth would you 'be more sensitive' to people you hardly ever see, and a niece babysat by your MIL on a completely different day to your daughter? I doubt the niece could have demanded DD's hat, given she wasn't there.

Although if my husband told me his mother could be sneaky, I'd be wanting to know exactly what that meant before she got to mind our children.

Jesus she really is bat shit, isn't she? No apology, no understanding that what she did was wrong, just nothing.

Show dh the texts, be completely open (not that you wouldn't otherwise) and just give up. She isn't worth wasting your breath over.

But rest assured, this has and will continue to bite her on the arse big time.

True Desiree. In what other ways has mil been sneaky throughout DH's lifetime?

But in any case, even if the 3-year-old had kicked up a fuss about wanting her cousin's hat and how it was not fair, etc., the MIL seems to have her own bee in her bonnet about that, so she would have latched onto it.

Is it really her bonnet, or is it someone else's?

....

I'll get me coat.

I think your MIL needs time to stew over what she has done. She just can't seem to see she is in the wrong.

metal don't forget your hat to go with that coat

metal don't forget your hat to go with that coat

Hang on, let me call my MIL...

It's interesting that some people try to justify that "grandmother's" behaviour. Stealing candy and all that... Nit my idea of a nice grandmother or mil.

Not my idea...

But I quite like the nit reference.

I would consider if this behaviour is out of character (e.g. does this behaviour happen often). Does your MIL suffer from short term memory perhaps? I would rule out all the possibilities first before assuming she has ill intentions about deliberately stealing your daughters hat.

Hatzilla MiL is really standing her ground here. There's some big issue in the background of this which is making her believe she has the moral high ground and that issue trumps the, as she sees it, minor matter of hat theft.

I'd hazard that something happened between MrDoomf and his bro that didn't mean much to them at the time and is long forgotten but Hatzilla has been stewing over for yonks. This is a vengeful act.

Unless it's a pattern of behaviour, I'd assume she just either forgot whose hat it was, or isn't so bothered about which items of clothes belong to who. That might be annoying, I get that, but people are different about these things. A lot of my friends (and me) are a bit 'chuck whatever clothes are around on any child' and other friends of mine are very particular about what belong to whom.

This is insane! She's stealing off you because she thinks her other granddaughter doesn't have enough... is she in a position to simply buy things for her? It's so so odd.

Doris the Mil has already admitted she purposely gave it to the other child because she thinks the parents are hard up....

I think the OP is being incredibly petty. The MIL looked after your DD for a l day each week, and she is falling out over a stupid hat.I think the GM just put the wrong hat on the wrong child and then either

1. was worried she would be judged as being 'confused' and the remifications of that and/ or
2. only realised this year after the little niece had become attached to the hat and felt embarassed about asking for it back.

Either way it is NOTHING compared to the relationship of you all with your DH's mother.Just chalk it up to experience and buy you or the little niece a new hat FGS

Your comments to her in town were beyond rude, no wonder you have got her back up!

I am never, ever going to moan about my PIL again!

lol

You havent read the thread have you dear?

lola

How has mil taken the news that she is no longer needed for child care? If she causes a fuss spin it that you're been sensitive to bil and sil financial woes and giving them the opportunity of another days child care for their DD.

Oh jeez why don't people read the thread before commenting.

"ChuckitintheBucket

Oh jeez why don't people read the thread before commenting."

Possibly because the thread is ridiculously long.

I just don't get why mil didn't buy your niece a hat of own. If she was worried about her having less. It just strikes me as so spiteful towards your daughter - like she thinks she is some spoilt princess and doesn't deserve it.

Holy fuck she sounds totally loopy.

Is there a FIL on the scene?

Def step back now, you run the risk of being the dreadful woman who turned her sons on her. Poor you OP, you've handled this impeccably I think.

Just read the ops updates then.