MIL and daughter's hat.

[doomf]

My MIL looks after my DD one day a week (Tuesday) and her other grand daughter one day a week (Wednesday).

I bought my daughter a lovely hat last year to go with a coat she had. The hat went missing at the end of last winter and I'd searched high and low for it it to no avail. Is asked MIL if she'd seen it and she swore blind she hadn't (I was pretty sure the last time she'd worn it was to her house). A few weeks ago I lamented to MIL that it was a shame id never found the hat as it would still have fit my DD this winter and she agreed.

Yesterday afternoon I'd taken a day off work and had gone into town with my DD only to run into my MIL and her other grand daughter...wearing the bloody hat!!!

AIBU to think that you just don't do that?!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: to read all the replies given by an OP in any given thread, just click Ctrl+F (or Command+F if you have a Mac) on your keyboard and a little box will pop up on your screen. Enter the OP's name and, magic! all the occurrence's of the OP's name (including the OP's replies) will be highlighted.

This way you can at least get an idea of what the fucking thread is about.

"I just don't get why mil didn't buy your niece a hat of own."
Because MIL is lying about why she did it. It's not about giving her niece something, it's about depriving the OP of something. "She made a hoo ha tonight about me Recently being promoted and how we're raking it in (we're not) and how things just don't seem fair." For some reason that has yet to be uncovered, MIL wants to punish OP.

Oh and you can view the thread as a single page and then search for the OP's name. That makes it easier to skim read.

My own mother is a bit like this. 2 bat shit examples:

1. wanted to buy all GC matching outfits for Xmas (weird), but discovered I had bought them for mine already. So rifled through drawers found them and bought the same for the other grandchildren. From their own pocket.

2. staying the other weekend they admired the trousers my son was wearing. Then found out they'd been shopping and bought the same for their other two grandsons from the same shop.

My OH and I are not rolling in it, but she said with a sad face "they havent got any clothes that fit them, your sister is so much less well off than you"

Sister with the £10k deposit they gave her for a house, and the new kitchen and car they part financed. She actually can't handle the difference in outcomes for her kids and grandchildren and thinks she's making it fair.

Or just go to customise and tick to highlight all ops posts on every thread distance You can even choose your colour.

Ooooh. The wonders of technology.

FFS it's a bloody hat! It pales into insignificance agaiinst the amount childcare she has done.Why are you making such a big drama out of nothingWhat do you hope to gain?

Because of the sentiment behind it and the deceit of it. It's about the actual cost of the hat Lola.

Again lola rtft, then maybe you would stop looking foolish.

This is not about a bloody hat

*not about the cost

usual it's not about the HAT. You've surely read enough about the thread to know that? It's the lying and purposeful act of taking someone's belongings to 'redistribute' as she felt fit. Lying to someone's face on multiple occasions while she effectively stole. Stop minimising the actions of the MIL. would you do this?

Btw: 660 comments on this thread... surely some of those commenting should realise that the thread has moved on since the first bloody page. FGS, RTFT before looking like an idiot.

OP I'm with you! And I am a MIL
Have you told her yet that she will not be looking after your DD from now on?

Also I would be forwarding on the text to DBIL

Usual if somebody deliberately lied to you about the whereabouts of something you lost that was expensive, and then you found out they'd passed it on to someone else would you be happy?

I agree with OP that now you know that MIL has admitted that she is happy to steal from her GD to redistribute her belongings to the other, more favoured GD it breaks the trust - what else might she conceal from you and lie about regarding your daughter while she is in MIL's care? Even your DH calls her sneaky.

OP - have you told MIL that your DD will no longer be coming and will go to nursery instead? How dis she react? I think it is a good idea that you have decided that contact between them will be supervised at the moment - given the way she is acting who knows what she might do or say to your DD (the less favoured GC)

It's fascinating because obviously it has nothing to do with a hat.
Like you op, I would be all shades of livid at having been undermined and lied to (it's totally about you not DGDs) but here's my theory fwiw: mil is the one who has the money issues and gifted other GD the hat out of a combo of skint 'necessity', pride and resentment towards you because she thinks you're loaded. That's why she was embarrassed but not remorseful? Could you offer to pay her for childcare when/if the dust settles to see if that's the case?

Elle you don't have issues you sound deeply thoughtful, and you're right, few people who advise to chuck hand grenades around in their family relationships would actually do so.

Tricky one, keep us posted!

Lol, good for you! Xx

Distance
How to you get the whole thread to show on one (very long!) page? Thanks

Good job with the Public Service

MIL's two sons should maybe consider whether she needs to see a doctor, and I don't say this in a patronising 'she's bonkers' kind of way, but in the sense that it isn't 'normal' behaviour and may be the first signs of a problem. Empathy, people.