MIL and daughter's hat.

[doomf]

My MIL looks after my DD one day a week (Tuesday) and her other grand daughter one day a week (Wednesday).

I bought my daughter a lovely hat last year to go with a coat she had. The hat went missing at the end of last winter and I'd searched high and low for it it to no avail. Is asked MIL if she'd seen it and she swore blind she hadn't (I was pretty sure the last time she'd worn it was to her house). A few weeks ago I lamented to MIL that it was a shame id never found the hat as it would still have fit my DD this winter and she agreed.

Yesterday afternoon I'd taken a day off work and had gone into town with my DD only to run into my MIL and her other grand daughter...wearing the bloody hat!!!

AIBU to think that you just don't do that?!

I can't fathom out how the hell she thinks that it's in any way your fault if your BIL and his wife don't have much money. Definitely sounds a case of favouritism to me! I'd cut the silly old bint out of your lives!

Your mil sounds like an absolute crackpot and i wouldnt be sending dd to her for a long time for what she did. Stealing is wrong but to steal from family is totally a low move. Even if it is just a hat its the pricnciple your mil thinks she can play god with peoples lives

Crazy lady 💯

I wouldn't be letting her within 100 meters of my kids without supervision.

I think it's more about her own jealousy, rather than the disparity in the family incomes. Who is she to be the chancellor of the exchequer for the 2 families?

She's a loon but I feel a bit sorry for her that she has done something so silly resulting in now having limited contact with her DGD.

I can't fathom out how the hell she thinks that it's in any way your fault if your BIL and his wife don't have much money.

This struck me as well! Absolutely bizarre. I can't believe she didn't give you the hat back!

Oh she's hidden the hat

It's really none of her business all of this stuff about who earns what - just unbelievable!

Can't you find a photo of the hat to show us? We've no chance of seeing an up to date photo!

Yes, good decision about the childcare situation. She is the one who will lose out in the end. This has blown up in her face.

Your MIL sounds so devious that I simply wouldn't trust her with my child. After all your husband says his mother's sneaky. I think she's just not a nice person and she's getting worse as she gets older. A normal person, seeing the hat you'd bought your daughter, would have bought one for her other granddaughter if she didn't think her parents could afford it. Not stolen it from one grandaughter to give it to the other one, all the time lying to you when you were looking for it and asking her about it. That's devious, nasty and untrustworthy. I'd love to know what your BIL and SIL have to say about it.

Your MIL sounds bloody unhinged OP. Good decision on the childcare front. You probably need one of these

It's such a shame that MIL will probably never have a decent relationship with your DD because of her jealousy of you. You could never trust her again. MIL sounds like she may have issues stemming from a cousin or friend during her childhood that had everything MIL didn't have.

There must be a back story here surely she hasn't been completely fine and normal up until today and now she's acting completely batty?

Wow, you're better off without her!

I'm quite new to the world of Mumsnet. The only way I can make ANY sense of this thread and its responses is to assume that HAT is in fact one of these weird Mumsnet acronyms and in fact stands for "Headline Annuity Tracker" - meaning that MIL has somehow stolen an investment portfolio intended to secure the future of one grandchild and given it to another.

The alternative - that this is all about a piece of headgear - is too absurd to be credible.

As a 64 yo Grandma of four who does daily childcare I have to say your MIL has a skewed sense of right and wrong. Not her call to decide to give your child's hat to another grandchild. Weird.

Elle I think it's about the MIL lying to DIL's face and stealing from one of her grandchildren, actually.

Just how exclusive is this hat? That MIL would take it away from one DGD and give to the other?
Surely, if your DGC have inequity in something, you make it up for them by buying whatever it is they're missing out on?
Not by stealing it from the DGC that has it?

Outrageous behaviour.

Perhaps MIL favours BIL over Dh too?

Bloody hell! Sorry OP I originally was one of the PPs saying give her the benefit of the doubt til you speak to her assuming she was going to be a normal human being and all that! How weirdly spiteful, glad you sorted alternative childcare out I'd be frankly quite scared to leave my child with someone who quite clearly doesn't have her best interest at heart.

Couldn't find the hat my arse

Perhaps she sent the hat home with the other DGD.
Bonkers. Well she is the one who will ultimately lose out.

rollonthesummer "There must be a back story here surely she hasn't been completely fine and normal up until today and now she's acting completely batty?"

Maybe this is the first time that MIL has been caught. After all, it was sheer chance that the OP met the MIL with her other granddaughter and saw that she was wearing the "missing" hat. Who knows what the MIL has been getting up to?

I expect your BIL will be horrified by your MIL's behaviour. She's sounding a bit like the plot got chucked out with the recycling.