Not wanting DH's family on New Year's Eve

[FedUpWithHisFamily]

Hi, everyone. Last night had mighty row with DH, as he wants "his family" on New Year's Eve at ours, as we are going to my sister's for Christmas. DH's family- his 4 nephews, age ranging from 23 to 27. Two of the older ones will bring girlfriends, and a 5-months-old baby. We have 2 and 5-year-olds. My DH will be working all week leading to NY, also, till 6 o'clock that evening and on 1st of Jan. Somehow, my DH decided that his family will come for dinner on NY eve! AIBU to not want that? My DH is youngest brother of three, he is 39 himself, but views his nephews as his responsibility, as parents of the boys all live abroad. It's been few years already that they all coming to ours. I, of course, am expected to lay great feast for all of them! This year I will have no help whatsoever from my DH, as he is working. Apart fom big row, I have no idea how to deal with the situation. DH is adamant he wants "his family".

Order pizza for everyone. Easy

Well at least they are all old enough so you won't need to baby sit them.
Take away and fun board games? You don't have to lay on a four course feast!

Give them M&S nibbles, take away and plenty of booze. Problem solved.
It doesn't take much to sort that.YABU.

I can understand him wanting his family but it's a bit unfair for you to have to put on a huge feast single handedly. Could you insist he goes down to M&S and picks some stuff up? Or do more of a buffet type thing?

Perhaps you should tell him that if he's so keen to play host, he needs to request time off to prepare for the visit and deal with the aftermath?!

seems reasonable, seeing as you are at your family for Christmas. Do as PP said and order a bunch of pizza, easy peasy

He gets the day before or after off or it doesn't happen. It's not fair to demand you go to that level of trouble when he can't help you, unless you would expect him to do the same for your family.

It's a once a year effort.

Why is his family so unimportant to you?

Plus what are they called "his family"?

It seems fair to me as you are seeing your family over Christmas.

Would he help pre prepare food etc?

Are you out working all day too op?

Order pizza and finger foods, lay it all out buffet style. Then, like the others said, you could do board games, video games, or just chill and watch movies. I don't think he's being entirely unreasonable.

Seems fair to me that they are coming, but I would try to find an easier option for the food.

Tell him to stop in his way home from work at the takeaway and Bargain Booze.

Sorted.

(not sure why "his family" are in quotes ).

'I, of course, am expected to lay great feast for all of them! This year I will have no help whatsoever from my DH, as he is working. Apart fom big row, I have no idea how to deal with the situation. DH is adamant he wants "his family".'

Nope. I'd make plans to go elsewhere on NYE with the kids. He wants them, HE lays on this feast.

The OP clearly says she will be expected to 'lay great feast' - it doesn't sound like she is objecting to sticking on a couple of pizzas. It sounds like this will be more of a big occasion than that and it isn't unreasonable for her to decline if her DH can't offer any help at all.

Has he invited them already without your agreement? Otherwise I would have thought couples in their twenties might already have plans.

That actually sounds really cool, especially since your own family will be around for Xmas.

It's NYE so you shouldn't be expected to cook a massive dinner, I agree with PP, do a take away order and lay out some snacks. I have a very young son who has uncles that age and they do spoil him. I also have cousins who are like siblings and they are my world. Use it as an opportunity for your children to create memories with their cousins.

He's not given much thought to who will actually do the work, has he?
On the other hand, hinbu to want to have his family over at this time of year. It could be fun, unless they are all horrible people.
As for the food - if DH can't or won't help, a huge vat of hot pot/ chilli/ curry can be prepared the evening before with DH doing veg peeling etc and left to simmer slowly the next day, jacket spuds/ bread/rice plus a couple of three bought gateaux type puds would be easy enough. Or take out if you really can't face it!

YABU if he hasnt seen them in a while. But yes to takeaway!

I'm always amazed at the number of people who can afford takeaways for 8 adults.

YABU and a bit mean
If I were you I would apologise and say that it ok but that you would like to do simple food.

There are plenty of super simple meals that you could do. You could buy in a Lasagna,! some ready made salad and garlic bread and use disposable plates. There is no reason for it too be difficult.

Expat, around here it'd be cheaper than laying on a feast.

Yes, a decent curry for 8 adults and a bunch of kids will be £150.

Would 4 20 something year old men really want to come to yours when you have 2 small kids to celebrate NYE? I can't imagine it, but if they do I'm also imagining they're lovely people. Get loads of nibbles and pizza, it's not hard to grab party food or just make a big chilli and jacket potatoes. Yes DH is working so ask him to come home a bit earlier and tidy the house or something and also to plan the booze and some games. My DC would love it when there's more family over to play with/talk nonsense to.

Can you make it New Year's Day if he's around then to help?